Splitting with DP - AIBU to think I don't have to pay back his mortgage contributions?

[StepAwayFromGoogling]

Shaking while writing so bear with me. Long back story, but me and 'D'P are splitting up - literally as of about 10 minutes ago. We've had a joint mortgage for 8 years. My parents paid the deposit which is protected. I want to stay here with the DCs and can afford to do so. I was assuming we would transfer the mortage into my name and then would somehow (by remortgaging?) release half the increase in value of the property to him. He thinks I will be forced to pay him half of the mortgage contributions from the last 8 years? So he will essentially have lived here for free that whole time? I just said to him 'I don't think that's how it works' and he lost his temper "THAT MONEY IS MINE, YOU'LL FUCKING PAY ME, YOU'LL FUCKING PAY ME EVERYTHING...". I'm scared and shaky but trying to work out if that's true? Because then I can't afford to keep the house.
YABU - yep, you'll have to pay his mortgage contributions back
YANBU - nope, just the increase in value, divided by two

I wish people would have read my OP properly. All I said was "I don't think it works like that" before I got a load of swearing and abuse. Even if I had set out how I thought it works, I still didn't deserve swearing and abuse. Nobody does.

As it stands, I've arranged three valuations next week. We are due to remortgage by the end of March and he seems happy for me to buy him out. We'll base that on the valuations, and then the extension is neither here nor there.

Thank you to everyone who has given really helpful advice. I do appreciate it and it has helped me to panic less and focus on the practicalities of what I need to do now.

@StepAwayFromGoogling

I wish people would have read my OP properly. All I said was "I don't think it works like that" before I got a load of swearing and abuse. Even if I had set out how I thought it works, I still didn't deserve swearing and abuse. Nobody does.

Ignore the swearing and abuse, 95% of the votes agree with you. Your DP getting both his contributions and the increase in equity makes no sense.

Good luck! 😊

Good luck

He doesn't get 8 years free accommodation. If you were to charge him the rental value as a landlord that would be much higher so would he agree to getting his mortgage payments back but then paying you rent? Doubt it.

I imagine tensions are high right now given you've just split up (I'm so sorry OP) so hopefully he'll simmer down but agree with others, please call the police or at least someone you trust if he is making you feel afraid.

Good luck xx

Make sure the values know why you're getting the valuations done. Otherwise they'll value it higher to make you feel good. The mortgage company's valuation will be on your last mortgage statement & will be lower. That will impact how much you can remortgage for.

You'll be the one responsible for the kids, so you NEED to get as much stability as you can & this will be a hugely important part in that.

Take care

You definitely still need a good solicitor, although you're not married they might be able to get you to keep more of the equity in the house as you'll have his kids to house, unless you're going to do 50:50 with the kids?!

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