Will get vaccine for holiday but not family

[tinkletoots]

DD refused to get vaccine due to not knowing what was in it so I have not seen new grandchild as I did not wish to meet if she was unvaccinated due to my own health (ofcourse things are now changing and now living with the virus cautiously).

She has announced she will now get vaccinated as she wants to go on holiday.
AIBU to think I have missed out on seeing my grandchild when all along she was capable of being vaccinated.

Her choice not yours.

Last spring when issues about clotting emerged, pregnant women were initially advised not to have the vaccine at the point that vaccination was becoming avaliable to their age groups. In the summer that changed to a more positive message. By November/ December the media was then guilt tripping about women in ICU who had initally been scared off which is pretty disgusting victim blaming.

People can change their minds. They can grow in confidence as they see their peers being vaccinated with little ill effect. They can change their minds because their circumstances have changed. They can change their minds for whatever reason they like and that's a good thing because it's better than being entrenched.

OP chose not to see her daughter and grand child. Own it.
I had a relative threatening not to come to a family event because I was inviting another relative. My response was "OK, that's your choice" Apparently I was making them do it. I wasn't. It was their choice to come or not. I was not making ultimatums, they were. This is the same.

I'm not feeling particularly forgiving over the ILs that made us sit in the rain last year because they wouldn't let my filthy unvaccinated children in the house. The irony was that in order not to compromise travel, we'd avoided risky situations for 10 days prior and only done outdoor activities and were therefore substantially lower risk than their virtuously vaccinated teenage cousins socualising normally. We'd paid €€€€ to visit when we could after 18m to be treated like that.

You chose not to see your grandchild she didn't stop you

You really shouldn't have put your life on hold for this

I have an aunt who won't let her unvacc'd son in the house even though aunt& uncle are 3x jabbed (since September 2021). Situation has caused so much hurt.

My parents are like OP... it's funny because they had Covid in their house ( vaccinated relative they stay with) -- and still they insist on seeing no one at home who is unvaccinated. Meanwhile my dad goes to play poker for 3-4 hours a few times a week, with total strangers (mask free). Makes me laugh.

Bog "I'm not feeling particularly forgiving over the ILs that made us sit in the rain last year because they wouldn't let my filthy unvaccinated children in the house. The irony was that in order not to compromise travel, we'd avoided risky situations for 10 days prior and only done outdoor activities and were therefore substantially lower risk than their virtuously vaccinated teenage cousins socualising normally. We'd paid €€€€ to visit when we could after 18m to be treated like that."

Oh my god. That would not be forgiveable. Did you know it was an outside meeting when you travelled?

YABU it was your choice not to see her. It's a shame she is being forced to have the vaccine just to go on holiday when anyone with half a brain can see it's ineffective against omicron anyway

Does she know what's in every other vaccine or medication she takes?

She sounds a bit thick.

I wouldn't stress though, what's done is done and I really wouldn't be stopping seeing people now due to vaccination status, as long as you are fully jabbed

Are you pleased, OP, that random people are now calling your DD thick, an idiot, stupid, selfish, etc? It doesn’t seem like a particularly healthy way to deal with this.

And I hope people realise that vaccines do injure people, I almost died from MMRV vaccine. We’re not all morons, those of us who are not getting vaccines. Not that it’s any of anyone else’s business. Far too many people seem completely unaware of the meaning of consent, it’s gross.

@InexperiencedDogOwner

YABU it was your choice not to see her. It's a shame she is being forced to have the vaccine just to go on holiday when anyone with half a brain can see it's ineffective against omicron anyway

Consent is a lost concept, it seems.

the ILs that made us sit in the rain last year because they wouldn't let my filthy unvaccinated children in the house. The irony was that in order not to compromise travel, we'd avoided risky situations for 10 days prior and only done outdoor activities and were therefore substantially lower risk than their virtuously vaccinated teenage cousins socualising normally. We'd paid €€€€ to visit when we could after 18m to be treated like that.

That's absolutely appalling. And unforgiveable. I have never ever advised going NC, but I'd not want to ever visit them again. What a thing to do to your children.

I’d feel really hurt too op.

Even if she didn’t believe in it, you’d think she’d respect your anxieties.

Hell would have frozen over before I refused to see my grandchild over Covid.

YABVU

@Wordlewobble

I honestly can’t believe how much flack the OP has received here.

If the OP has health issues you have all assumed these are minor health issues but to prevent a grandmother from seeing her grandchild I would imagine the health issues to be pretty major and worrying to the OP.

Contrary to popular opinion I think the daughter is being selfish refusing to have the vaccine, refusing to meet outdoors for a walk and refusing to take an LFT/LFD test so her mum would feel less worried and anxious and be able to see her GC. Then now suddenly she lays aside her strongly held beliefs to have the vaccine as it enables her to go on holiday.

This exactly The vaccine debate has many angles but the daughter is so flaky and fickle with their reasoning it is insulting given the OPs health concerns. If she stayed unvaccinated I would have much more respect for her position

@orzoisorange

Hmmm.... The difference between the rate for FULLY vaccinated people (which is all that counts as vaccines waine. You cant count someone with 1 vaccine as vaccinated) and unvaccinated rates is similar.

Also - you have to account for the masses of unvaccinated who won't be going for PCRs or reporting positive lateral flows. Unvaccinated people are far less likely to engage with testing so it's skewed.

So I highly doubt this portrays the full picture.

You made the decision to miss out on seeing your grandchild, own it.

She may now feel more secure being vaccinated as there has been more research, more people have been safely vaccinated etc.

@AutomaticMoon

Are you pleased, OP, that random people are now calling your DD thick, an idiot, stupid, selfish, etc? It doesn’t seem like a particularly healthy way to deal with this.

And I hope people realise that vaccines do injure people, I almost died from MMRV vaccine. We’re not all morons, those of us who are not getting vaccines. Not that it’s any of anyone else’s business. Far too many people seem completely unaware of the meaning of consent, it’s gross.

She's thick. And you're projecting your own views.

She doesn't haven't a problem with vaccine injuries. OP has said she has a problem as she doesn't know exactly what's in the vaccine.

Yet I doubt she even knows what's in the pasta sauce she used last night, let alone in any of the pain relief she uses without worrying, the coke and vodka she drinks on a night out, the antibiotics she takes when she has an infection etc.

She's happy to consume and take everything else presumably, when she has no idea of their content, but won't take a vaccine that can save her life and offer the country herd immunity, because "she doesn't know what's in it".

It's just hypocritical.

And of course there's vaccine injury. There's ALWAYS contraindications to any drugs. Some people have died from taking paracetamol. Its just what happens although luckily is generally a very small number, as it is with the Covid vaccine.

Do you take any medication? Pain relief? Are you ok accepting the risk with those?

@AutumnLeaves21

You’re the unreasonable one. If you’ve had a vaccine, why does it matter that she hadn’t?! I say this as someone triple vaxed. I honestly can’t believe someone would miss out on their new grandchild due to this. I would be so upset if I was your daughter. The world have gone mad, honestly.

I agree 100%, its insane.

Yabu. You choose not to see your grandchild

@AutomaticMoon

The fearmongering from the media has turned regular people into hypochondriacs, it’s tragic how propagandised people have become.

This with bells on. There needs to be an enquiry into the intense fearmongering by the media.

@InexperiencedDogOwner

YABU it was your choice not to see her. It's a shame she is being forced to have the vaccine just to go on holiday when anyone with half a brain can see it's ineffective against omicron anyway

Oh my god, did you tell the World Health Organisation?

That poor DD, being forced to go on holiday. So sad.

There has to be more to this. What was your relationship like with your DD pre covid?

Utter madness IMO. One of my DDs isn’t vaccinated and I couldn’t care less, it’s her choice.
That doesn’t make her dim or uneducated.

Also can I just say that vulnerable people and those with all sorts of health issues have had covid mildly and recovered …. It’s not the automatic death sentence they many believe FFS.

@GettingThemFromHereToThere I think you are the one who is "thick" not that I'm into name calling but if the cap fits..

How you can honestly compare food and licensed medications to a vaccine that still
hasn't completed its trials, only has emergency use authorisation and the manufacturer are free from any liability from vaccine injury!!

Also - you have to account for the masses of unvaccinated who won't be going for PCRs or reporting positive lateral flows. Unvaccinated people are far less likely to engage with testing so it's skewed.

This is complete nonsense. Do you have any evidence that unvaccinated people are less likely to get tested? Unvacccinated doesn't mean someone is in complete denial about covid even existing anymore than it means they are automatically infected.

why was my post deleted I just said it was emotional blackmail and if it was my mum I would of told her to do one 😂