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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
Thursa · 09/02/2022 20:50

I don’t care. Take them off, leave them on. We have three dogs, the hoover is out daily anyway. We have tile in the living room, it’s bloody freezing at this time of year, your feet would be frozen if you had no shoes on.

Staffy1 · 09/02/2022 20:51

I don’t expect people to take their shoes off. Some just do, which I wonder if they think they are expected to as I don’t wear shoes at home myself, just for the sake of comfort. It seems very Mrs Bucket to ask people to take their shoes off.

Violinist64 · 09/02/2022 20:51

@Blossomtoes

I think it’s a generation thing. I’m old and had never heard of it until the last few years. None of my friends would dream of it and never would. We all have big strong adult kids who crawled on floors that people walked on in shoes.
It is definitely more common now and a good thing too in my opinion. We had some very good family friends in the seventies and the whole family and everything they owned, including house and garden, was immaculate. You always had to take your shoes off when you arrived. However, everyone was was always made very welcome. Why shouldn’t people want to keep their carpet nice? After all, carpets are extremely expensive.
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/02/2022 20:52

No. Definitely not.

Ricksteinsfishwife · 09/02/2022 20:52

Never really understood the issue people have with this and it does seem a really big issue to uou op.

For me, no, I’d never dream of asking guests to take their shoes off. Their decision, it’s more important to me guests are comfortable in my home.

Sundayrain · 09/02/2022 20:55

We're a shoes off house. Most people do without asking and they don't I ask! Some older family members have been offended but they are the sort to look for things to be offended by. Most people seem fine and I do it when I go to others, most of my friends expect it too.

Justcallmebebes · 09/02/2022 20:57

Yes always. Never understood outdoor shoes indoors. Only ever come across it in the UK

OldTinHat · 09/02/2022 20:59

No. Never have.

2old2beamum · 09/02/2022 21:04

My dd is a full time wheelchair user, when visitors come and ask if they should take their shoes off I reply do I take DD's wheels off, so no I do not expect people to go shoeless 😉

tinderswindler · 09/02/2022 21:07

No, who wants sweaty feet marks on the floor. What happens when you have a party, you just get dressed up and have bare feet?! Way too familiar to have some people hanging around in their socks.

ForksAndSpoons · 09/02/2022 21:07

Yes. I always remove my shoes when I enter someone else's house (unless they ask me not to) and I would like people who visit us to do the same. Most people do so anyway. I'm not sure if it is because they see me in my socks and therefore assume that I prefer no shoes or if it's just that common but I'm always grateful of they just do it without me having to ask.

I ask if required if people could remove their shoes please but I do always wonder if they might find it offensive or inconvenient.

Shodan · 09/02/2022 21:11

What happens when you have a party, you just get dressed up and have bare feet?

I always wonder about this too. Perhaps shoes OFF householders don't have parties? Or maybe they put down those thick plastic runners?

I'd find it beyond weird to rock up for a party and then have to slob around in bare feet/slippers. Damn sure I wouldn't be putting my bare feet in 'guest slippers' or socks.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/02/2022 21:15

@Shodan

What happens when you have a party, you just get dressed up and have bare feet?

I always wonder about this too. Perhaps shoes OFF householders don't have parties? Or maybe they put down those thick plastic runners?

I'd find it beyond weird to rock up for a party and then have to slob around in bare feet/slippers. Damn sure I wouldn't be putting my bare feet in 'guest slippers' or socks.

I never have shoes on at house parties.
planteen · 09/02/2022 21:17

@Shodan

What happens when you have a party, you just get dressed up and have bare feet?

I always wonder about this too. Perhaps shoes OFF householders don't have parties? Or maybe they put down those thick plastic runners?

I'd find it beyond weird to rock up for a party and then have to slob around in bare feet/slippers. Damn sure I wouldn't be putting my bare feet in 'guest slippers' or socks.

Some of you learned the word 'weird' and never stopped using it.

Wanting clean floors is not weird. Not everyone has regular formal dinners, anyway. If it's your friends coming round it's not over familiar.

ufucoffee · 09/02/2022 21:23

Only if they want to. I'd never ask anyone to. I want guests to be comfortable

pumpkinpie01 · 09/02/2022 21:26

I tell people to leave their shoes on if they start taking them off ! - it's all laminate downstairs, open plan and not very warm underfoot I don't want my guests being uncomfortable with cold feet .

Shodan · 09/02/2022 21:26

Some of you learned the word 'weird' and never stopped using it.

Grin Grin Excellent attempt at being supercilious.

Just for you- I would find it absurd/outlandish/peculiar/just plain odd.

GeodesicDome · 09/02/2022 21:29

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AhNowTed · 09/02/2022 21:30

"Wanting clean floors is not weird."

No, but prioritising floors over your friends comfort most certainly is.

As for "guest slippers" 🙄

planteen · 09/02/2022 21:30

@Shodan

Some of you learned the word 'weird' and never stopped using it.

Grin Grin Excellent attempt at being supercilious.

Just for you- I would find it absurd/outlandish/peculiar/just plain odd.

Not really, just that people use 'weird' to shit down the opposite side and make them seem right. Everyone who is different is weird. Yeah, ok, so the half the worlds population then, if not more.

planteen · 09/02/2022 21:31

@AhNowTed

"Wanting clean floors is not weird."

No, but prioritising floors over your friends comfort most certainly is.

As for "guest slippers" 🙄

Or putting your need to wear shoes over your hosts efforts and disrespecting their space. Putting your comfort over theirs, equally.

planteen · 09/02/2022 21:32

@GeodesicDome

Of course not. But absolutely no one in my circle of acquaintance is the type of prissy, neurotic, undereducated, limited, unworldly, illogical, small minded, humourless, bedint, cleaning obsessed germophobe who insists that visitors take their shoes off.

Some people are taking the 'disgusting' remarks from PPs to heart!

pradavilla · 09/02/2022 21:32

No to asking anyone and no to taking them off at other folks houses. If I see they have a really light carpet I may take them off unless they say not to bother.

I don't feel comfortable walking around someone else's house with my shoes off especially if I haven't got socks on.

I once had an off white carpet when I bought my first house, it was beautiful and yes I made everyone take their shoes off then otherwise it would have been an absolute mess very quickly.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/02/2022 21:33

@GeodesicDome

Of course not. But absolutely no one in my circle of acquaintance is the type of prissy, neurotic, undereducated, limited, unworldly, illogical, small minded, humourless, bedint, cleaning obsessed germophobe who insists that visitors take their shoes off.
Even if they were like notably muddy and they weren't going to offer?
Hangthetowels · 09/02/2022 21:51

Oh god yes, why on earth would.you want dirty outdoor shoes walked through your house??? Genuinely don't understand ANYONE who either does this or allows this!!!