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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 10/02/2022 13:11

[quote Norgie]@Blossomtoes So I should make an exception for you, or other wearers of rubber soles?
Nope, the rules apply to all, because otherwise the next thing you know, it's someone clopping over them in heels and scratching the hell out of it.[/quote]
Nope. I have no desire to walk on your immaculate floors, with or without shoes.

Hugasauras · 10/02/2022 13:11

Backdoor Shoes are really good for popping out with bins or to the car. DH and I both have a pair. They're also very hardy: DDog buried one of DH's and we found it six months later; after a wipe it was wearable again!

PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 13:12

I don't mind taking my shoes off if that's what someone prefers - I just don't get in a massive existential hygiene crisis about the fact it's not we do in our house.

Mmmm. I'm usually going to clean anyway. I kind of expect things will get messy or dirty from day to day. For some, it sounds like an annual clean that has to last for a whole year or it's a terrible inconvenience.

ValerieCupcake · 10/02/2022 13:13

Cant stand shoes in the house. Always wipe the soles with disinfectant before they get put away.

Norgie · 10/02/2022 13:13

@Blossomtoes Pleased to hear it, although immaculate might be stretching it a bit.

MayBMaybenot · 10/02/2022 13:13

Nope. Floors are for walking on and are made of appropriate materials to take the resulting foot fall. Absolutely don’t understand the “shoes inside are disgusting” mindset, unless those people all live on pig farms and come inside in their wellies.

ValerieCupcake · 10/02/2022 13:15

@FlasherMcGruff

I will never, ever understand someone who doesn’t have boundaries between the pavement outside where dogs poo, cats piss, people drop food, rubbish bins get dragged etc etc etc and then their own insides of their houses. The same shoes just wander through it all. It’s so unhygienic, especially on carpet. There are people taking the bin out in their garden and then coming in and wandering around in those shoes in their bedrooms and living rooms. Revolting.

Anyone who thinks I’m wrong: get a white baby wipe and rub it over your shoes after you’ve been out in them. You’re happy with that on your kitchen floor and carpets? Confused

ABSOLUTELY!
notquiteruralbliss · 10/02/2022 13:17

Absolutely not. It would be odd. We have hard floors, multiple dogs trampling mud all over the place and family members coming in and out in yard boots. The floors are all mopped when needed. Nothing is precious or delicate.

Blossomtoes · 10/02/2022 13:19

@ValerieCupcake

Cant stand shoes in the house. Always wipe the soles with disinfectant before they get put away.
😂
sweetieqie · 10/02/2022 13:20

Which is fine where there's some cultural background.

It's fine for anyone because it's their blooming house and they're inviting you in, period. My rent is £16,000 a year, if I ask you to leave your shoes by the door, just do it please.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 13:22

@sweetieqie

Which is fine where there's some cultural background.

It's fine for anyone because it's their blooming house and they're inviting you in, period. My rent is £16,000 a year, if I ask you to leave your shoes by the door, just do it please.

I don't think anyone has said they wouldn't do it if asked, just that it's a bit ott and precious.
PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 13:24

@sweetieqie

Which is fine where there's some cultural background.

It's fine for anyone because it's their blooming house and they're inviting you in, period. My rent is £16,000 a year, if I ask you to leave your shoes by the door, just do it please.

An invitation tinged with this kind of aggression will make for an interesting visit.
Blossomtoes · 10/02/2022 13:26

Indeed. I imagine most people would turn round and go home.

sweetieqie · 10/02/2022 13:26

Aggression? Get a grip.

PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 13:28

Yeah, I think I'd suddenly remember a pressing engagement elsewhere, even at the doorstep. Mind you, I'm sure the response would be good riddance anyway while they pour bleach over the bit of the step where I presumed to stand.

FluffyFlower · 10/02/2022 13:38

Absolutely no outside shoes at home. How is it even comfortable to sit around with shoes/trainers (boots!) on?! Yuck. Stepping into the bathroom with bare feet after someone walked there with their shoes, then taking that dirt to bed. No way. Nothing rude about asking guests to remove their shoes, or better warn before their visit to bring slippers/footwear to change into. I am from a culture where even going to the gym you are asked to change into clean (indoor) trainers - which makes sense too, tbh

BobbyeinArkansas · 10/02/2022 13:40

People see us barefoot and ask if they should take their shoes off. I don't expect it but many do. I always say no, however. I don't expect people to take their shoes off in the living areas. In the upstairs areas/bedrooms etc, then I'd ask them to remove their shoes. Luckily guests are rarely upstairs so it doesn't crop up much.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 10/02/2022 13:44

@ValerieCupcake

Cant stand shoes in the house. Always wipe the soles with disinfectant before they get put away.
Christ on a bike
daimbarsatemydogsbone · 10/02/2022 13:46

@sweetieqie

Which is fine where there's some cultural background.

It's fine for anyone because it's their blooming house and they're inviting you in, period. My rent is £16,000 a year, if I ask you to leave your shoes by the door, just do it please.

Yeah, like I said, if it's what people I want to visit prefer, I have no problem.

Thankfully I don't know anyone who sounds like this^ about it.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 10/02/2022 13:47

@PleasantBirthday

Yeah, I think I'd suddenly remember a pressing engagement elsewhere, even at the doorstep. Mind you, I'm sure the response would be good riddance anyway while they pour bleach over the bit of the step where I presumed to stand.
Grin
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/02/2022 13:50

@ValerieCupcake

Cant stand shoes in the house. Always wipe the soles with disinfectant before they get put away.
You do not?!
worriedatthemoment · 10/02/2022 13:58

Half and half here we all take our shoes off and my boys always take shoes of when they go to others and there friends when they come remove there shoes as i suppose they see mine doing it
My parents rarely remove theirs yet I have to at theirs and my brother is same , doesn't remove his but I have to at theirs , because they have carpet and we have hard floor but I do have rugs , also because we have a dog they say well he walks stiff in , except we wipe his paws if wet or muddy
Most friends remove shoes although i have a couple that I have to remind which annoys me as they see ours by the door
Im getting new rugs soon so they will all have to remove there shoes

worriedatthemoment · 10/02/2022 14:03

@RincewindsHat a tradesmen has to leave them on for H & S purposes my dh cannot remove his shoes , he does have shoe covers though and also makes sure his boots are clean , he has a pair for indoor jobs and one for outdoor jobs

peboh · 10/02/2022 14:09

I'm either in socks or slippers at home. I hate wearing shoes all day everyday. However I would never expect guests to take their shoes off, they usually offer but I'll tell them it's not necessary. Life's too short to make people go barefoot/socks out if they don't want to.

sweetieqie · 10/02/2022 14:10

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Who cares about their living space? Yes, I'm sure you don't.

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