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AIBU?

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Original poster

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/02/2022 10:32

Only if they go upstairs! I don’t think people want to be walking on the hard floors in their socks. If shoes are muddy or dirty in anyway they obviously take them off. But it don’t see a problem with reasonably clean shoes on wooden floors. I don’t have a baby though!

EnglishMcSwedeFace · 10/02/2022 10:47

Yes. I started doing it at uni when a fellow student trampled dog shit into my room, others thought I was weird for insisting on no shoes in my room but I stood firm. I live in Sweden now where everybody takes their shoes off, we keep slippers in for visitors but a lot of people carry their own. My in-laws have slippers for each family member plus loads of spares in their house.

My parents seem to forget every time they visit us and make a huge fuss about it but it's very rude not to remove your shoes here and I whole heartedly embraced it as a rule.

cinci · 10/02/2022 11:01

@OchonAgusOchonOh

It's just not strange in the first place. What's strange about wanting less work and a nicer environment. You just ask guests 'do you mind leaving your shoes just there, thanks guys'. It's normal...

It's inhospitable in a culture where it is not the norm.

The pp who would ask to examine the soles of the shoes of anyone who could not remove their shoes was definitely on the strange side.

It's inhospitable to those who may be embarrassed of their feet. Rets of is get on with it.

cinci · 10/02/2022 11:01

Rest of us!

SnowFlo · 10/02/2022 11:04

No, I wouldn't ask people to take off their shoes at my house, in fact it would be better if they kept them on!

We have a dog that goes out in the backgarden to do it's business or play ball throughout the day and I'm not sweeping and mopping the floor multiple times a day. The dog also sheds hair at an unbelievable rate.

Downstairs in laminate.

Feel free to take your shoes off, but you will just end up with dirty socks.

I wear slippers/sliders around the house

Tobchette · 10/02/2022 11:05

We live in a flat so it's shoes off in the communal hallway before you even enter then carry them to the shoe cupboard. We provide guests with slippers though.
(Not in UK, it's normal here).

Spidey66 · 10/02/2022 11:28

I seriously couldn't be arsed taking them on and off every time I put the rubbish out/hung the washing on the line/took the dog out/went to the shop. Plus I've got arthritis in my knees, I have to sit down to do it, we live in a ground floor flat (so no stairs to sit on) and not enough room in my hall for a seat.

Blossomtoes · 10/02/2022 11:48

[quote Norgie]@Livpool I paid a fortune for solid wood flooring ( not laminate or engineered wood ) on the floors of my home. I don't want it scratching and denting!
It costs enough to have it sanded and buffed every few years as it is.
You might call it precious, I call it common sense.[/quote]
Flooring is designed to be walked on, so are carpets. It’s as precious as the Kohinoor diamond.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 12:07

It's inhospitable to those who may be embarrassed of their feet. Rets of is get on with it.

It's also inhospitable to those who suffer from cold feet or those who feel it's making yourself too much at home if you don't know the host particularly well or those who suffer from arthritis or problems with their feet or those who just prefer to wear shoes.

PrisonerofZeroCovid · 10/02/2022 12:20

Yes because we live in an apartment and it's expected (not UK) to reduce noise. People just don't wear shoes indoors or they have soft soled indoor shoes. I wear Uggs in winter and go bare foot in summer.

In UK, I don't wear shoes in my house and I tell the DC to take theirs off but for any other adults I leave it up to them. We have commercial grade karndean (I know- how common Grin) so it's pretty bullet proof

planteen · 10/02/2022 12:26

@OchonAgusOchonOh

It's inhospitable to those who may be embarrassed of their feet. Rets of is get on with it.

It's also inhospitable to those who suffer from cold feet or those who feel it's making yourself too much at home if you don't know the host particularly well or those who suffer from arthritis or problems with their feet or those who just prefer to wear shoes.

Inhospitable yet also too comfortable/familiar according to some.

Most reasonable people aren't fussing over those with arthritis, that's fine. Able bodied entitled people who think they can walk like that... no.

FlasherMcGruff · 10/02/2022 12:32

I will never, ever understand someone who doesn’t have boundaries between the pavement outside where dogs poo, cats piss, people drop food, rubbish bins get dragged etc etc etc and then their own insides of their houses. The same shoes just wander through it all. It’s so unhygienic, especially on carpet. There are people taking the bin out in their garden and then coming in and wandering around in those shoes in their bedrooms and living rooms. Revolting.

Anyone who thinks I’m wrong: get a white baby wipe and rub it over your shoes after you’ve been out in them. You’re happy with that on your kitchen floor and carpets? Confused

RampantIvy · 10/02/2022 12:34

@Spidey66

I seriously couldn't be arsed taking them on and off every time I put the rubbish out/hung the washing on the line/took the dog out/went to the shop. Plus I've got arthritis in my knees, I have to sit down to do it, we live in a ground floor flat (so no stairs to sit on) and not enough room in my hall for a seat.
I just have some slip on shoes in the kitchen for nipping out to the bins/compost heap, herb pots. However, I appreciate that it is difficult for some people.
Sandinmyknickers · 10/02/2022 12:53

People who wear shoes in the home can do it in their own home if they want, but not in mine. I find it disgusting hard floors or not. It's not a difficult request although tbh I have never have anyone be so rude as to assume they keep them on

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/02/2022 12:55

@Spidey66

I seriously couldn't be arsed taking them on and off every time I put the rubbish out/hung the washing on the line/took the dog out/went to the shop. Plus I've got arthritis in my knees, I have to sit down to do it, we live in a ground floor flat (so no stairs to sit on) and not enough room in my hall for a seat.
I have RA. Multiple replacements. I just wear bed socks in the house and have slip on shoes by the door to go out to the bin or garden. I aren't apposed to shoes in my house as long as they aren't muddy though. Just aren't very comfortable with them on
Blossomtoes · 10/02/2022 12:58

Anyone who thinks I’m wrong: get a white baby wipe and rub it over your shoes after you’ve been out in them. You’re happy with that on your kitchen floor and carpets?

That test only works if you have wet carpets. I actually ran a dry white cloth over the soles of my shoes once and - guess what? Nothing much came off. I tend not to eat my dinner off the floor. The only things that touch it are feet - human or canine.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 10/02/2022 13:01

@FlasherMcGruff

I will never, ever understand someone who doesn’t have boundaries between the pavement outside where dogs poo, cats piss, people drop food, rubbish bins get dragged etc etc etc and then their own insides of their houses. The same shoes just wander through it all. It’s so unhygienic, especially on carpet. There are people taking the bin out in their garden and then coming in and wandering around in those shoes in their bedrooms and living rooms. Revolting.

Anyone who thinks I’m wrong: get a white baby wipe and rub it over your shoes after you’ve been out in them. You’re happy with that on your kitchen floor and carpets? Confused

Quite happy thanks - and oddly no-one has died here in the last 14 years of us living in our mostly shoes-on house. This is just another of those hygiene panics manufactured by cleaning product companies and people with over active imaginations.
Norgie · 10/02/2022 13:03

@Blossomtoes So you're happy to pay out a few hundred pounds for my flooring to be sanded and buffed because you want to be disrespectful towards me and keep your shoes on are you?

Scianel · 10/02/2022 13:04

I just have some slip on shoes in the kitchen for nipping out to the bins

I have really elderly trainers that don't need to be unlaced. They are my going to the garage/putting bins out/weeding shoes.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 10/02/2022 13:04

@AllThingsServeTheBeam

I aren't apposed to shoes in my house as long as they aren't muddy though. Just aren't very comfortable with them on
I love this dialect - are you from East Yorkshire perchance?

Blossomtoes · 10/02/2022 13:05

[quote Norgie]@Blossomtoes So you're happy to pay out a few hundred pounds for my flooring to be sanded and buffed because you want to be disrespectful towards me and keep your shoes on are you?[/quote]
If my rubber soled shoes would damage your flooring, you were ripped off. It’s designed to withstand being walked on in shoes.

Scianel · 10/02/2022 13:05

This is just another of those hygiene panics manufactured by cleaning product companies and people with over active imaginations

Actually it's standard in many parts of the world to take outdoor shoes off before entering a home.

Norgie · 10/02/2022 13:08

@Blossomtoes So I should make an exception for you, or other wearers of rubber soles?
Nope, the rules apply to all, because otherwise the next thing you know, it's someone clopping over them in heels and scratching the hell out of it.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 10/02/2022 13:10

@Scianel

This is just another of those hygiene panics manufactured by cleaning product companies and people with over active imaginations

Actually it's standard in many parts of the world to take outdoor shoes off before entering a home.

Which is fine where there's some cultural background.

I don't mind taking my shoes off if that's what someone prefers - I just don't get in a massive existential hygiene crisis about the fact it's not we do in our house.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 13:10

Inhospitable yet also too comfortable/familiar according to some.

Yes. If I don't have a relatively close relationship with you, I certainly don't want to act in an overly familiar way in your house.

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