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Original poster

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
Brainwave89 · 10/02/2022 14:23

in my house yes, but I am Asian and this is one of our things.

phoenixrosehere · 10/02/2022 14:42

I'm either in socks or slippers at home. I hate wearing shoes all day everyday. However I would never expect guests to take their shoes off, they usually offer but I'll tell them it's not necessary. Life's too short to make people go barefoot/socks out if they don't want to.

Agree. I rather them wear shoes so they don’t end up stepping on whatever my children (7 yo asd and a 4 yo) have dropped/thrown on the floor or spilled without our knowledge even if I just cleaned.

I’m at a point I don’t even care about shoes since the carpets have been stained from everything but shoes. I hate carpet with a passion. I grew up with hard floors. I miss them desperately. It is pointless having them when you have a special needs child, an artistic child, and a clumsy husband.

phoenixrosehere · 10/02/2022 14:43

*hardwood floors

SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 10/02/2022 14:46

@OchonAgusOchonOh

It's just not strange in the first place. What's strange about wanting less work and a nicer environment. You just ask guests 'do you mind leaving your shoes just there, thanks guys'. It's normal...

It's inhospitable in a culture where it is not the norm.

The pp who would ask to examine the soles of the shoes of anyone who could not remove their shoes was definitely on the strange side.

It is the norm for many people though - I was born in middle class SE England in the 90s and growing up every household was shoes off. Even my grandparents and older relatives. I find it inhospitable to expect people to keep shoes on, you can’t relax wearing shoes.

I think the prissy people are the ones who take offence at feet. They are about as intimate as elbows. Saying it’s too familiar to take your shoes off has strong Victorian-fainting-at-the-sight-of-ankles vibes!

turnaroundtime · 10/02/2022 15:04

@Shodan

Nope.

I never ask people to take their shoes off- and I would consider it shockingly bad manners to demand that they do or 'no entry'. Very mimsy.

If people ask if they should take their shoes off I tell them that if they're more comfortable doing so, then of course, but there's no requirement to.

Not sure what 'Mimsy' means but assuming it's not a good thing. Do you request people don't smoke in your house or is that mimsy also?
OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 15:09

It is the norm for many people though - I was born in middle class SE England in the 90s and growing up every household was shoes off. Even my grandparents and older relatives.

That doesn't make it a cultural norm.

I find it inhospitable to expect people to keep shoes on, you can’t relax wearing shoes.

That's a bit presumptuous of you. You many not be able to relax wearing shoes. Many people can and do relax with shoes on.

I think the prissy people are the ones who take offence at feet. They are about as intimate as elbows. Saying it’s too familiar to take your shoes off has strong Victorian-fainting-at-the-sight-of-ankles vibes!

It's not about the sight of ankles or feet. It's the overly familiar "making yourself at home" in a house where you are not at home. Obviously if you know your host well, what is acceptable is quite different.

I see it as similar to someone being familiar enough to suggesting you make them a cup of tea. No problem with close friends or family but a bit overly familiar of someone I don't know very well.

SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 10/02/2022 15:12

@OchonAgusOchonOh

It is the norm for many people though - I was born in middle class SE England in the 90s and growing up every household was shoes off. Even my grandparents and older relatives.

That doesn't make it a cultural norm.

I find it inhospitable to expect people to keep shoes on, you can’t relax wearing shoes.

That's a bit presumptuous of you. You many not be able to relax wearing shoes. Many people can and do relax with shoes on.

I think the prissy people are the ones who take offence at feet. They are about as intimate as elbows. Saying it’s too familiar to take your shoes off has strong Victorian-fainting-at-the-sight-of-ankles vibes!

It's not about the sight of ankles or feet. It's the overly familiar "making yourself at home" in a house where you are not at home. Obviously if you know your host well, what is acceptable is quite different.

I see it as similar to someone being familiar enough to suggesting you make them a cup of tea. No problem with close friends or family but a bit overly familiar of someone I don't know very well.

It is the cultural norm for me. I don’t know anyone who keeps their shoes on in the house. I didn’t even know it was a thing until I came on here. I see it more akin to taking your coat off, it’s just what you do when you enter a house.
SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 10/02/2022 15:13

After all, the purpose of shoes is to protect your feet (from cold/hot/sharp surfaces) just like a coat is to protect you from the weather.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 10/02/2022 15:18

Mumsnet seems to be very much made up of two divided camps; the shoes on and the shoes off. I honestly can't get worked up about it.
I don't know of any homes I visit that insist on shoes off. My DP always walks around indoors with his shoes off and I always keep mine on but it's nothing to do with cleaning but rather having hot/cold feet (and I've yet to find slippers that I like and give my feet support) 🤷🏻‍♀️

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/02/2022 15:30

@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs

Mumsnet seems to be very much made up of two divided camps; the shoes on and the shoes off. I honestly can't get worked up about it. I don't know of any homes I visit that insist on shoes off. My DP always walks around indoors with his shoes off and I always keep mine on but it's nothing to do with cleaning but rather having hot/cold feet (and I've yet to find slippers that I like and give my feet support) 🤷🏻‍♀️
Just out of curiosity. What shoes do you wear in the house? Do you get up and put a pair on? I can understand if you'd been out and just kept that pair on, but not to just put shoes on to stay in iyswim
OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 15:55

I see it more akin to taking your coat off, it’s just what you do when you enter a house.

Nope. It's what people expect in SOME houses.

After all, the purpose of shoes is to protect your feet (from cold/hot/sharp surfaces) just like a coat is to protect you from the weather.

Exactly. I want to leave my shoes on to keep my feet warm. They will get cold if I am just wearing socks on your floor, particularly if it is a hard floor. A coat is an extra layer for outside and I would more than likely have sufficient clothes on underneath to keep me comfortable indoors without it. Unless you house is ridiculously hot, I won't have sufficient layers on my feet.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 15:56

Just out of curiosity. What shoes do you wear in the house? Do you get up and put a pair on? I can understand if you'd been out and just kept that pair on, but not to just put shoes on to stay in iyswim

Putting shoes on when you get dressed is no different to putting a jumper on when you get dressed.

CounsellorTroi · 10/02/2022 15:58

No. I never ask them to.

FluffyFlower · 10/02/2022 16:17

@SpaghettiArmsMurderer

After all, the purpose of shoes is to protect your feet (from cold/hot/sharp surfaces) just like a coat is to protect you from the weather.
Off topic but some people equally think it is ok to walk in and throw their coat/bag on the table or kitchen counter rather than leave them in the hallway, or sit down on bed linen with their outdoor clothes on. This goes to the same camp as shoes at home for me!
BuddhaForMary · 10/02/2022 16:19

Hard floors here so I never ask anyone to take their shoes off. They're welcome to if they want to though, and some do so they can get comfy on the sofa. Me and the kids wear slipper socks around the house.

PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 16:22

or sit down on bed linen with their outdoor clothes on

Is it not OK to sit on a bed if you haven't changed into whatever "indoor clothes" are?

FluffyFlower · 10/02/2022 16:24

@PleasantBirthday

or sit down on bed linen with their outdoor clothes on

Is it not OK to sit on a bed if you haven't changed into whatever "indoor clothes" are?

To me it seems unhygienic, clothes I wore on the tube, sat down in public places etc
PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 16:27

So do you have a separate wardrobe of clothes that can touch indoor furnishing? If you popped out to the shops would you have to change to outdoor and then back to indoor? Do you need a shower to transition from outdoor to indoor?

To me, this seems as overly germophobic as disinfecting shoes so they don't contaminate a shoe rack.

BuddhaForMary · 10/02/2022 16:29

Do some people really not sit on their bed with clothes on or put a bag on the table? Forty odd years on this planet and I've never known anyone like this.

I don't get the not sitting on the bed with 'outdoor' clothes on. Isn't it just the same as sitting on the sofa cushions with them on?

Vicliz24 · 10/02/2022 16:30

Seriously you'd be advised not to take your shoes off in my house. My two dogs are always in and out and there's no telling what you'd stand in .

Tobchette · 10/02/2022 16:31

@PleasantBirthday my dh has this rule and annoyingly forces us all to follow it.
Indoor and outdoor clothes. It's a thing.

AuntyBumBum · 10/02/2022 16:31

Some do, some don't, it's not something that bothers me.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 16:34

Off topic but some people equally think it is ok to walk in and throw their coat/bag on the table or kitchen counter rather than leave them in the hallway, or sit down on bed linen with their outdoor clothes on. This goes to the same camp as shoes at home for me!

Ok, so now we're expected to remove all clothing, quarantine bags and presumably, shower, before we are offered a cup of tea Grin?

You do realise that the increasing "sterilisation" of our environments has led to an increase in allergies (check out the hygiene hypothesis)? Excessive hygiene is not healthy from a physical perspective and the levels of neurosis evident in some posts here is not healthy from a mental perspective.

PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 16:35

[quote Tobchette]@PleasantBirthday my dh has this rule and annoyingly forces us all to follow it.
Indoor and outdoor clothes. It's a thing.[/quote]
How does it work though? Is he neurotic about other things?

I'm sure everyone reading has guessed, but at the risk of sounding like a walking petri dish of infection (a possibility I'm pretty dubious about anyway - I'm not sure healthy humans have the capacity to have infectious skin and clothes), I couldn't live like what I'm imagining it would be like...

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/02/2022 16:35

@OchonAgusOchonOh

Just out of curiosity. What shoes do you wear in the house? Do you get up and put a pair on? I can understand if you'd been out and just kept that pair on, but not to just put shoes on to stay in iyswim

Putting shoes on when you get dressed is no different to putting a jumper on when you get dressed.

Well it is massively different in my house. My shoes are all downstairs for starters. I'd not wear a coat inside.