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Original poster

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
hangrylady · 10/02/2022 08:08

@BadLad

Shoes off here - my wife is Japanese, and will not have it any other way. Guest slippers are provided, and nobody bats an eyelid.

At other people's houses I'll do whatever they prefer.

So you expect guests to wear slippers that numerous others have had their sweaty feet in? Vom.
TwoCoffeesPlease · 10/02/2022 08:11

I always take my shoes off at other peoples and expect them to take their shoes off at my house. I didn’t spend a small fortune on a nice rug for the living room for someone to trample all over it in muddy shoes.

And absolutely no shoes at all upstairs. We had a man come up fix our toilet, he put shoe covers on without being asked. I shall be using him again for that reason - it’s just polite’

Livpool · 10/02/2022 08:15

I have never asked people to take their shoes off. Our friends do at their house though I obviously take mine out. How precious are people about their houses though - especially if you don't have carpet?!

BadLad · 10/02/2022 08:16

So you expect guests to wear slippers that numerous others have had their sweaty feet in Vom.

I suppose I'm just used to Japanese people managing to do it without any fuss. Restaurants, schools, some shops and loads of other places have similar systems. I don't see why it's such a problem. They're not foot-hugging bedroom slippers, so not tight and I'd be surprised if anyone made them sweaty.

hangrylady · 10/02/2022 08:19

@BadLad

So you expect guests to wear slippers that numerous others have had their sweaty feet in Vom.

I suppose I'm just used to Japanese people managing to do it without any fuss. Restaurants, schools, some shops and loads of other places have similar systems. I don't see why it's such a problem. They're not foot-hugging bedroom slippers, so not tight and I'd be surprised if anyone made them sweaty.

I'd rather just wear my socks!
JustUseTheDoorSanta · 10/02/2022 08:51

@Livpool

I have never asked people to take their shoes off. Our friends do at their house though I obviously take mine out. How precious are people about their houses though - especially if you don't have carpet?!
Our DS plays on the floor, which isn't an issue because the floors are pretty clean all the time. After my family visit there is always bits of dirt on the floor, so we have to vacuum and mop after they've left instead of leaving it for the cleaner. That's an extra task which isn't necessary after other visitors who take their shoes off, on top of cleaning up after lunch etc. Can you conceive why that extra task is irritating when it would be unnecessary if they did what they were asked?
SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 10/02/2022 09:06

[quote OchonAgusOchonOh]**@SpaghettiArmsMurderer* - If someone asked me to keep my shoes on because they didn’t want to see my feet I would think they were a total weirdo!*

And I would think someone who insists on others removing their shoes is equally weird🤷‍♀️. It seems a bit anal and very unwelcoming, particularly if the floors are hard floors.

The only time I would offer to take my shoes off would be if they were visibly dirty. If they were clean and I was asked to remove them, I would but I wouldn't be rushing back for another visit.[/quote]
I recommend you don’t visit Asia then!

KateLumley · 10/02/2022 10:00

[quote PlantMummy87]@CandyFloss31 thank you, I really like the idea of a polite sign saying 'since little fingers touch these floors, please remove your shoes at the door, thank you'. Thanks for the idea I'll look into it![/quote]
Now that is prinky Grin

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 10:04

@SpaghettiArmsMurderer - I recommend you don’t visit Asia then!

It's a long standing part of the culture in much of Asia and so of course I would not think it strange there. Very different to UK/Ireland/much of western europe/much of the US/etc. where it is a relatively recent thing implemented by some people.

ChampagneLassie · 10/02/2022 10:11

YANBU - But don't expect people to remember as everyone is different and its certainly not the norm. (I have orthotics so tend to wear shoes in my own house all the time). As soon as people arrive, just assertively tell them - even better message them in advance so they can wear appropriate socks / slippers etc. Even now it sill surprises me when people ask me to do this at their home, I don't mind as such but if you're bare foot that can be a little embarrassing and uncomfortable. I once went to someone's house in a professional capacity and I was really not dressed for taking my shoes off! Felt very unprofessional and in all honesty I'd probably have insisted they came to my office if I'd known that was their preference.

cinci · 10/02/2022 10:12

[quote OchonAgusOchonOh]**@SpaghettiArmsMurderer* - I recommend you don’t visit Asia then!*

It's a long standing part of the culture in much of Asia and so of course I would not think it strange there. Very different to UK/Ireland/much of western europe/much of the US/etc. where it is a relatively recent thing implemented by some people.[/quote]

It's just not strange in the first place. What's strange about wanting less work and a nicer environment. You just ask guests 'do you mind leaving your shoes just there, thanks guys'. It's normal...

Mediocrates · 10/02/2022 10:13

I absolutely hate shoes on in the house, from a hygiene perspective but also comfort!

My DH and DCs are all conditioned Grin to take their shoes off, but I don't ask visitors - we have hard floors all through downstairs.

When I go to other people's houses I always ask if they mind me taking off my shoes - no one has ever said no! Can't stand wearing my shoes inside

LlamaLucy · 10/02/2022 10:14

Apparently, it’s considered very lower-class to ask people to remove their shoes. Implies that you consider your guests to be dirty and that you cannot afford to clean your rugs. Idk

UsernameAB12 · 10/02/2022 10:15

YANBU I don't understand people who wear shoes in the house, it's grim. Shoes are for outside and Slippers for inside. My parents think the same, shoes were never allowed in the house growing up. They bring there own Slippers to my house. I sometimes have to remind my in laws to remove their shoes, I don't feel bad asking them. No entry past hallway if wearing shoes!
In Japan it's a great insult to wear shoes in someone's house. There are many restaurants that make you take your shoes off in Japan.

ChampagneLassie · 10/02/2022 10:15

[quote PlantMummy87]@CandyFloss31 thank you, I really like the idea of a polite sign saying 'since little fingers touch these floors, please remove your shoes at the door, thank you'. Thanks for the idea I'll look into it![/quote]
But some people might not notice the sign as they're too busy focusing on the people and then you'll be even more annoyed! Just ask/tell them

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 10:16

It's just not strange in the first place. What's strange about wanting less work and a nicer environment. You just ask guests 'do you mind leaving your shoes just there, thanks guys'. It's normal...

It's inhospitable in a culture where it is not the norm.

The pp who would ask to examine the soles of the shoes of anyone who could not remove their shoes was definitely on the strange side.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 10:18

@Mediocrates

I absolutely hate shoes on in the house, from a hygiene perspective but also comfort!

My DH and DCs are all conditioned Grin to take their shoes off, but I don't ask visitors - we have hard floors all through downstairs.

When I go to other people's houses I always ask if they mind me taking off my shoes - no one has ever said no! Can't stand wearing my shoes inside

And that is polite. You are not simply imposing you shoeless state on others without permission.
Original poster
PlantMummy87 · 10/02/2022 10:19

Now this is rude 😂🤭

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 10/02/2022 10:22

@LlamaLucy

Apparently, it’s considered very lower-class to ask people to remove their shoes. Implies that you consider your guests to be dirty and that you cannot afford to clean your rugs. Idk
Why expect others to have to clean up after you. Hmm Wipe the shoes as much as you want they’ll still be bloody dirty. MIL took her shoes off, then would put them on to leave and forget something or need to go to the car and come back in…. until one day she brought dog shit in my home. That was the last time she kept those shoes on. I don’t want to clean dog shit off my rug and then keep said rug- it’s grim. I had a baby learning to crawl at the time. If that’s lower class, I couldn’t give a toss.
PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 10:22

@OchonAgusOchonOh

It's just not strange in the first place. What's strange about wanting less work and a nicer environment. You just ask guests 'do you mind leaving your shoes just there, thanks guys'. It's normal...

It's inhospitable in a culture where it is not the norm.

The pp who would ask to examine the soles of the shoes of anyone who could not remove their shoes was definitely on the strange side.

It just seems like there are people would would prefer if nobody ever came to their house. You can't speak to adults like that and expect a friendly, comfortable relationship.
Mediocrates · 10/02/2022 10:23

@OchonAgusOchonOh Having nursed for years, I know from experience that some people have pretty bogging feet/socks, so it seems polite to ask if people mind me taking my shoes off. I always keep socks in my bag if I'm barefoot under my shoes, because some people really hate feet

Hugasauras · 10/02/2022 10:26

I always ask when I visit someone new. Almost everyone I know is a shoes-off household. My parents aren't but I ask them to be here because last time they tracked mud all across the carpet after a dog walk, so now they take them off and it's fine. I hate wearing shoes at home, it feels super weird! First thing I do when I get in is take them off. DD is same as at nursery they take their outside shoes off as the first thing they do when they go inside.

Original poster
PlantMummy87 · 10/02/2022 10:28

Sorry some reason it didn't quote, in response to

@KateLumley : "Now that is prinky grin"

Now this is rude! 😂🤭 I think I've learnt from posting this, at least I'll never be as rude as some mumsnetters that like the insult people through a screen...

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 10/02/2022 10:29

I think it's generally just good manners to ask when you go into someone's house anyway. I always say 'Shall I take my shoes off?' and they'll either say 'Oh you can leave them here' or 'oh don't worry about it' and then you just carry on. No need for any angst or handwringing!

Norgie · 10/02/2022 10:31

@Livpool I paid a fortune for solid wood flooring ( not laminate or engineered wood ) on the floors of my home. I don't want it scratching and denting!
It costs enough to have it sanded and buffed every few years as it is.
You might call it precious, I call it common sense.

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