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Original poster

To ask how often grandparents see/ask about DC?

126 replies

Xsliceoftoast · 09/02/2022 12:50

Hello,

I was just wondering in general if you could tell me how often your parents see/ask about DC and how often your in-laws see/ask about DC?

I just want to compare to see if our circumstances are the norm before I speak to DH, it's a very specific set of circumstances which could be outing if I go into detail so for now it's just a general question to determine if my feelings are valid or if I'm being a precious ftm.

Sorry to be vague but thought I'd ask if a parenting forum.

Thank you

OP posts:
Comedycook · 09/02/2022 12:55

My parents are dead but if alive would have been very involved grandparents.

Dh has his mum...she is utterly disinterested and doesn't seem to care if she sees them or not. Dh persists in seeing her though. In all honesty, if my parents were alive and didn't care about my dc or want to see them, I'd have cut them off.

chloworm · 09/02/2022 12:57

Probably about one a month. They live 40 mins away. Never been that bothered about a close relationship with their grandchildren.

pitterpatterrain · 09/02/2022 12:57

DH parents I think they ask about them when he calls, probably sees them once every couple of months

My DF lives further away, we’re normally chatting on WhatsApp with sharing of photos etc and probably sees them about the same with either of us travelling

NameChange74567 · 09/02/2022 13:01

My parents see DC at least twice a week, and they live on the other side of the city. FIL sees them every couple of months, he lives about a 5 minute drive away. MIL hadn't seen them in over a year despite living in the next street. Could count on one hand the number of times she's seem them in their lives.

NameChange74567 · 09/02/2022 13:01

In laws ask about them but don't want to spend any time with them.

RedCandyApple · 09/02/2022 13:02

Never.

Username55555 · 09/02/2022 13:03

My in laws- never ask after and never make a effort to see the children. Its been made perfectly clear we're only welcome over with a invitation. They live a 5min walk from us.
My dad video calls 2-3 days a week sometimes daily but lives a long way from us so we only visit a
few times a year. My mum will call maybe ones every 6 weeks but I call her quite often and visits barely ever she lives a 20 minute drive from us.

Pyri · 09/02/2022 13:04

My parents and PIL see our children weekly. They very kindly all help with childcare which is really lovely but I actually find it too much having so many people in the house so regularly

Danikm151 · 09/02/2022 13:06

Once a month for 1 set of GP then 2-3 times a week for my mom. (She helps with childcare once day a week)

Smileyaxolotl1 · 09/02/2022 13:06

See my parents at least fortnightly and ask weekly. GPs would like to see them weekly but there are other commitments.
My other in-laws are morww re flexible so sometimes see them a few times in a week and others not for 2-3 weeks.

DilemmaDelilah · 09/02/2022 13:11

As a grandparent, I rarely ask about them. I don't need to! My children keep me updated anyway. I see them roughly once a month at my house, but do a few pick up after activities to help out. So on paper it looks as if I'm not very involved at all! However, my children and my grandchildren know I am here and if they want to see me they only have to ask. I am rarely invited to go over to their house, if I was I would probably see them more. My grandchildren actually call my house their second home, so they are perfectly comfortable coming here. I'm fact I am very much looking forward to them being able to choose to come on their own and to make their own way here.

Pumpfive · 09/02/2022 13:12

I don't have children but I have a nephew. We have a family WhatsApp group and we ask about him/ they send photos nearly every day, sometimes only twice a week, depending how busy we all are. My parents facetime with them weekly and visit once a month/ every 6 weeks (long long drive )
My nephew's other grandparents live a short drive from them and they help with childcare so see him regularly. But I'd say both sets are equally involved but just in different ways due to logistics.

GettingThemFromHereToThere · 09/02/2022 13:13

All grandparents live within 10 mins drive.

My parents = multiple times a week. Always weekly at a minimum.

PIL = twice a year (deadbeats).

ShittyFingers · 09/02/2022 13:15

I’m a grandmother and I have my DGD for the day every week. I usually have her for a few hours on one of the other days of the week too. Nothing to do with childcare, it’s simply because I want to see her

Lemonnhoney · 09/02/2022 13:19

PILs live locally have my DC atleast once a week for tea, and has toddler during the day once a week to help me out (have a newborn too). And would be happy to help more if I asked.

My parents live 1hour 30 away and come visit or meet once a week and take kids out/play with them. We also chat throughout the week about them

DappledThings · 09/02/2022 13:23

PIL live a mile away and see them at least once a week, do some school pick ups and other ad hoc bits as well as us all hanging out. They actually moved 70ish miles to be near the DGC.

My parents are 4 hours away and would love to be more involved. We see them 5 or 6 times a year for a few days at a time and they are always really involved when they are together doing lots of games and reading etc.

Cheesewiz · 09/02/2022 13:29

My parents, once a week but they live an hour's drive away. My fil passed away 3 years ago but we used to see him 2-3 times a week min

gwenneh · 09/02/2022 13:35

My PIL would have been very involved grandparents if they were still here. My MIL was preparing delightedly for her first GC before she got ill; she'd even given up smoking.

We live 5 miles from my parents. We see them multiple times most weeks and there are text messages daily.

Blossomtoes · 09/02/2022 13:40

We live three hours drive from ours and see them every month/six weeks.

thehillswerebright · 09/02/2022 13:42

My dad Facetimes my kids every day for a few min, he also picks them up from school a few days a week. Both my parents are disabled but try to be there and involved when they can.

In laws, live further away, ask when on phone to my husband about them. Can go months without seeing them. Still love them the same.

Xmassprout · 09/02/2022 13:44

My parents are an hours drive from us, I normally see them a couple of times a month.

My in laws live about 20 minutes away and my husband takes my children to see them very sporadically.

We don't speak to either set of grandparents much outside of our visits. My children wouldn't see the in laws at all if my husband didn't make the effort to take the children over there. They have never visited the children here.

MarthaJonesPhone · 09/02/2022 13:45

The children see my mum once a week in term time, more in the holidays. We do live close by though. Mum asks after them every day.

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 09/02/2022 13:46

My mum sees her every Friday, and sometimes weekends and as and when during holidays.
In-laws see her every Thursday for an hour, and then maybe one afternoon a month.

averythinline · 09/02/2022 13:47

Il lived 200miles away... occasionally asked in phone calls saw 1/2 a year..
Mine 45 mins away have multiple issues themselves so max every couple months short visits they not interested in face time type stuff
But ask in most calls so weekly

ShortColdandGrey · 09/02/2022 13:49

My parents as least once a week if we are free. I am in contact with my mum most days, and she always asks how my DD is. My In laws don't phone, or ask to see us or DD. My DH has stopped contacting them now. My DD was ill a few weeks ago and is still recovering. His parents didn't contact us once to see how she is. My dad dropped of treats from them and my DB to cheer my DD up.The only updates they get is if I put anything on the family chat, but they even ignore that. So I have no stopped putting anything up.

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