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Original poster

To ask how often grandparents see/ask about DC?

126 replies

Xsliceoftoast · 09/02/2022 12:50

Hello,

I was just wondering in general if you could tell me how often your parents see/ask about DC and how often your in-laws see/ask about DC?

I just want to compare to see if our circumstances are the norm before I speak to DH, it's a very specific set of circumstances which could be outing if I go into detail so for now it's just a general question to determine if my feelings are valid or if I'm being a precious ftm.

Sorry to be vague but thought I'd ask if a parenting forum.

Thank you

OP posts:
AndrewPeacock · 09/02/2022 13:52

Both sets see them at least once a week as they babysit/do the school run and we'll maybe see them at the weekend too sometimes. In laws also tend to have them for a sleepover one a month or whenever DH and I have plans (sometimes when we don't have plans because the DC want to stay).

GrapesAreMyJam · 09/02/2022 13:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

waitingformygirl · 09/02/2022 13:57

My parents see dd once every week/fortnight, they live 20 mins away. Dpil see dd once every couple of months and speak to her on video chat at least once a week, they live 3 hours away.

Doratheexploret · 09/02/2022 13:57

Once a week but only for an hour or so after school.

gogohm · 09/02/2022 13:58

Mine lived 3 hours away, saw them about every 6 weeks/2 months. Exh's lived 45 mins away, they visited a handful of times throughout their entire childhood ... ex mil now had the cheek to moan ti me that dd hasn't visited since I split from her son (dd is an adult and chose to move away with me)

Tryingnottofail · 09/02/2022 13:59

We alternate Sundays between in laws and my mums so at least once every 2 weeks for lunch/afternoon.
In laws pick youngest up from school most Wednesday’s and then eldest and dp go round after school/work for tea as I work late.
We have a very close relationship between us/kids/in-laws/my mum
My dad lives around 40 minutes away, it’s not the easiest to get to and I don’t drive so we see him less frequently, maybe a few times a year. I have separate WhatsApp groups with each of them which we use almost daily to talk on so pretty much constant chat

ArtfulScreamer · 09/02/2022 14:03

Mum lives 100 miles away and visits about once month and messages a few times a week about them, she so visit specifically to babysit when asked.
In laws live in same village and see them about twice a week and again help with childcare when required.
My children are very lucky to have family who adore them.

CoastalWave · 09/02/2022 14:05

See them physically about 3 times a year. Speak daily on the phone though They live about 300 miles away.

Other side - never.

So in answer to your question, rarely! I do it all by myself :D

edin16 · 09/02/2022 14:09

Both sides look after DS one day a week (both sides offered this without us asking) and then we sometimes see one or the other on the weekend.
If they haven't seen him in a while they'll message asking how he is or if he's had something different on that day (eg exciting event, doctors appointment, particularly busy day) then they'll drop us a message.

Saying that my dad and his wife have only met him twice. They lives in a different country and covid and all but they rarely asks about him, it's mostly one sided from me trying to keep them in the loop. This is not new for them though as they are the same with nieces and nephews.

Thisisme10 · 09/02/2022 14:11

My parents help out with school run and have our primary aged children round for dinner one school night a week. They then come round at 7.45am twice a week to drop off and pick up another 2 days and look after at our house. We also aim to have a longer weekend Visit at least once a month sometimes twice depending on what we do. They have them in school holidays and sleep overs and helped with day time childcare before they started school.

In laws live about half hour away and they barely see them. They prioritised their other grandchild over lockdown with childcare bubble and even when restrictions were lifted last year didn’t make an effort. At best it’s once a month we see them more often it’s once every 6 weeks/2 months. It’s a very quick how are they when on the phone to Dh but they seldom seem interested in them. They have suggested having them they same time as their cousin which is theory is nice but I don’t believe they make much effort to know them or their interests. There’s a big age gap my 9 year old and the 1 year old cousin for instance. It’s normally what suits them. It use to bother me but now I don’t care, it’s there problem and they miss out.

purpleboy · 09/02/2022 14:12

My parents see them every day as they live with us. But always come to matches, plays, nativity etc...
PIL it ranges sometimes often, like once a week, then can go a couple of months without seeing them, they don't contact us, it's us chasing after them.

SallyWD · 09/02/2022 14:13

My parents live 5 hours away. We aim to meet up every 2 months although occasionally it's 3 or 4 months. If they lived in the same town as us I'd definitely see them at least once a week. I really wish we could! My in laws live abroad and we generally see them every school holiday (including most half terms) . Again, if we lived close by we'd see them once a week. We do feel sad that we live so far from everyone.

Justcallmebebes · 09/02/2022 14:18

I'm a grandparent of 3 and see them several times a week (live 10 min away) and have them for the day every Saturday to take them to their clubs and activities and sometimes have them overnight.

My DD and her partner go away every month or so for a weekend and I have them then too

Their other GP - the same

Strawberry0909 · 09/02/2022 14:21

My parents ask how they are daily and see them 1-3 times a week (provide childcare when I'm in work or we go for day trips on my day off)
FIL sees them about 3-4 a month

clearvowelsriselikeballoons · 09/02/2022 14:23

Around twice a week - one day of regular childcare, and usually pop over on weekends or go out together (that's my parents, but we've always been close and they live maybe half an hr away)

PIL - we go and visit maybe twice a year, they come up onceish, so more of an occasional relationship

Rosebel · 09/02/2022 14:28

M parents come over once a week. MIL will also come once a, week providing we drive, pick her up and drop her back. She can drive and has a car but won't use that to see us.
Older girls are teenagers and they ring, text or WhatsApp both sets of grandparents 2 or 3 times a week. It's nearly always the kids who initiate contact though.
If I'm on the phone my parents will always ask about the kids, especially youngest as he doesn't have a mobile. MlL never asks even when the children have been in hospital

Quornflakegirl · 09/02/2022 14:30

MIL asks everyday on the phone (DH calls her every evening), she’s 2 miles down the road but doesn’t see them. She’s not actually interested in them.

Ivegottagoforaliedown · 09/02/2022 14:30

First time mum here too! My mum asks about my little boy every day and sees him probably about 4x a week (she lives 10 mins away though)

Partners dad (who lives 2 hours away) we see about once a month, he asks about baby every week or so, every time he calls his son (my partner).

Partners mum (lives 2 hours away also, separated from his dad though) we see every couple of months. She rarely asks about her grandson and never instigates calls to her son. It annoys me a bit on behalf of my partner but he is used to it. He gets upset with me though when I say that our son won't be familiar with her when he is older.

rainbowdancegirl · 09/02/2022 14:30

Every 3 weeks or so

BurntO · 09/02/2022 14:31

My mam asks everyone she calls which is twice a a week. She also watches the x2 a month minimum. In-laws help out minimum x2 a month too and we pop in and see them for a few hours 1-2 a month…so they don’t need to ask as we see them frequently. They ask for updates if they’re ill etc

rhowton · 09/02/2022 14:33

My parents are VERY involved. They see their GC every other day, sometimes every day. They will often pick them up from school, take them out for the day or have them in the evenings or over night.

ParkheadParadise · 09/02/2022 14:35

My parents are dead but were very involved in their grandchildren's life. Dd1 and I stayed with my parents for years. My mum and Dad had 22 grandchildren there was always a child in their house😉

My inlaws are involved in dd2's life. She is the youngest grandchild by several years and the only granddaughter. She stays overnight has done since she was a baby and goes on holiday with them. She has a bedroom in their house(DH's old one). My Mil will facetime to speak to dd.

MangoLipstick · 09/02/2022 14:36

Both mine and dhs parents live about 90 mins away. My parents come over to ours about every 6 weeks & my mum will stop for 4 days at a time which is lovely. We FaceTime twice a week with dc. Dc is closer to my dm because of this.
Dhs parents do ask about dc & they/dh speak regularly but we don’t see them much in person, maybe every 2/3 months. They don’t really make alot of effort to come here (think they would rather we drive to them)

Onlyforcake · 09/02/2022 14:37

My parents haven't called since before Christmas. I probably see them once or twice a year, they don't like me to bother them but occasionally they like us to go to their garden parties to meet their friends. Since my middle one has be diagnosed with ASD though they 've stopped inviting us I think (I'll know for sure soon). They are about an hour away.

My DH is in daily communication with his parents and siblings but they don't seem to specifically ask after the children. We see them maybe twice a year.

esloquehay · 09/02/2022 14:38

Both my parents are dead:
One parent died whilst I was pregnant. Never acknowledged the pregnancy.
One parent was alive until DC were 2 (twins) and never asked after them.
On the father's side, only the grandmother remains and she never asks after them or makes any effort to see them.

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