Page 19 | AIBU to feel overwhelmed by non-binary, cancel culture, and woke society?

SarahDarah · 09/02/2022 20:59

@UoMomster

I know what you mean OP I work in HE and am on constant alert with my language etc (I teach a lot of sex based practical things eg medical interventions for womens health) and have to be so so careful. However I have a 5 year old and we live in a very trendy crunchy area and her reception call are very GIRLS vs BOYS and exactly how I remember being at school (not saying that’s ideal either!). Dreading her getting older and having to go into pronouns etc.

@UoMomster neither you or your daughter have to obey the self appointed thought police. She doesn't "have" to do anything. The only power these people have is the power you choose to give them

Following the crowd is exactly how we as a human race enable the committing of various atrocities and scandals over the years by people. Because the majority decided to ignore their common sense because they were scared of not obeying whatever the vocal minority are telling people they should believe.

Think about it! We're all grown adults and have the human right to freedom of thought and speech. Are any of these people pushing transgender/1000 genders and all this stuff better people than you or me? Why are we allowing these people to force us into their beliefs and way of thinking (which in any case go against science and biological truth)? Who the heck do they think they are.

whattodo2019 · 09/02/2022 21:00

@ButtockUp

I've nothing to add except to say that I get what you're saying. I feel too old and my brain almost hurts with all of this.

I'm with you. I have no problems about how others chose to live their lives and i'm perfectly respectful but why do others have to change to for their choices. No one is interested in mine.

whattodo2019 · 09/02/2022 21:00

@blublub

It’s just the latest fad. We’ll have real problems soon, aside from navel gazing, like if we can eat or possibly war. This will help put things in perspective for those whose lives are in a bubble in their own head.

So true

nanbread · 09/02/2022 21:03

@nanbread just because the online thugs failed to silence JKR and others, it doesn't make their attempt any less sinister.

I agree that those making violent threats on social media are abhorrent and should be stopped. The companies running these platforms need to do more about it, absolutely. It's far too easy to abuse people online.

And sadly, thousands of people get threats like this - celebs, politicians, people who've ended up on the news, random people who have stalkers or abusive ex's - it's not tied specifically to being woke or cancelled or anything like that. It's nasty shits using whatever excuse they want to threaten and intimidate.

LexMitior · 09/02/2022 21:10

I find it draining - the people who talk about its necessity are draining, its like a special brain scrambling code, a perpetual word salad. Something Orwellian about changing language to change people.

I am hoping I escape most of the impact of it during my working life - I've started to look elsewhere for employment because it feels cultish. Perversely it seems to grind down what acceptance I have, because its demanding my energy as an ally, and I only want to go to work and then go home. It seems so demanding to make me engage with social change or a social change that someone else thinks should happen. At work - no. Its too political.

MixMatch · 09/02/2022 21:17

The so called "transitioning" of children (who are all vulnerable in some way due to their age and often other factors) which is being sanctioned by some people in government and pushed by others with their own agendas, is going to be a HUGE scandal within a few decades.

We are talking about children who due to their age, are legally unable to even consent to a TATTOO 😳 Yet they are having their bodies and development changed beyond all recognition through life changing surgery and drugs.

It's utter madness how ANYONE can defend this and these children are being let down by the conspiracy of silence by everyone. This is despite high profile court cases and whistle-blowers from the gender "clinic" in London.

VestaTilley · 09/02/2022 21:29

YANBU- it’s ridiculous.

But there aren’t two genders - there are two sexes - which you can’t change or identify in and out of (male and female).

The words sex and gender don’t mean the same thing. Gender is the regressive stereotyping we push on children depending on if they’re born male or female (eg, dolls, pink, princess stuff for girls). Nobody has an innate gender identity - that’s just bollocks. Everyone has a sex and a personality - all the rest is how society conditions us.

Don’t worry about offending people - just be honest, true to yourself and stand firmly by your boundaries.

SarahDarah · 09/02/2022 21:46

@Rosieposie101

It's exhausting. I also think that the whole thing is very bad for mental health - I have some good friends who are very into it (i went to a university that was 'woke' before 'woke' was even really a thing!) And the people who are most into it, are usually in a constant state of anger, upset, despair, annoyance, confusion... i rarely see positive emotions. It's always anger that everyone doesn't agree with them or fury that someone has disagreed (one thing I don't like is that if someone is even suspected of privately disagreeing with them - disagreeing in their own thoughts without actually saying anything about it - they are still furious and aggressive about it). Upset and despair for similar reasons. Confusion because they're constantly trying to desperately find the perfect labels for themselves and always looking inwards, analysing themselves, wanting to talk about themselves and their labels). Annoyance towards anyone is still living a traditional lifestyle. Almost all of them are suffering from depression and/or anxiety. I don't know which came first - the constant rage and confusion and upset about all this woke stuff, or the depression and anxiety. I think each thing feeds the other. I'm worried about it, if I'm honest. I really hope it blows over soon.

@Rosieposie101 I've observed this too and it's very telling. Some may get temporary relief when they tick off a milestone of some sort but NONE of these people are truly happy and at peace. None.

It goes to show, that choosing to live a life based on lies and confusion, eventually only leads to unhappiness, rage and despair. It's very sad and society's focus should be the appropriate mental health support they need. Essentially it's a mental health/ trauma condition dressed up as a gender issue. Funding should be going towards mental health support and care, not confirming people in their fantasies and confusion which is damaging them and society.

The rest of us need to take note and push back against this dangerous nonsense. It's stifling our own human rights to have free thought and accept the fundamental biological truth they're rejecting, and ultimately it doesn't even help the very people who are trying to force their beliefs down our throats. It just makes them more miserable!

FOJN · 09/02/2022 22:07

Threats of violence to people like this are abhorrent - but they are not the same as being "cancelled".

I'm not sure why you are confusing the two?

I'm not confused at all, the threats were the impotent rage of aggressive activists when they found J K Rowling was too big to cancel, being unable to succeed does not mean the attempt to cancel her can be dismissed. Staff at her publishers refused to work on the Ikabog. She did not attend in the HP 20th anniversary celebrations and it's not clear whether she was even invited. What sort of message do you think this sends to other women who are not in J K Rowling's financially protected position?

I notice you did not address issues with the other two women I mentioned by name, there are many others. Perhaps you don't know about the women who have lost livelihoods because they have been reported to their employers for allegedly transphobic veiws which usually means they acknowledged biology and think women's rights should be protected.

milkyaqua · 09/02/2022 22:12

@MixMatch

The so called "transitioning" of children (who are all vulnerable in some way due to their age and often other factors) which is being sanctioned by some people in government and pushed by others with their own agendas, is going to be a HUGE scandal within a few decades.

We are talking about children who due to their age, are legally unable to even consent to a TATTOO 😳 Yet they are having their bodies and development changed beyond all recognition through life changing surgery and drugs.

It's utter madness how ANYONE can defend this and these children are being let down by the conspiracy of silence by everyone. This is despite high profile court cases and whistle-blowers from the gender "clinic" in London.

This.

That governments and major institutions are going along with this preposterous pronoun nonsense is one thing, but this is something so extraordinarily and obviously wrong I cannot believe we, as a society, are allowing it to proceed.

People can pose around on SM calling themselves whatever they like, but the (mostly irreparable) damage to the vulnerable young bodies and minds of actual children... I cannot believe this movement has ever had any credence, let alone government support.

gingerhills · 09/02/2022 22:21

@FelicityBeedle

If you can remember someone’s name, you can remember their gender. The vast majority of people still identify within a binary male/female (it’s certain other groups who think trans man and trans woman make extra identities).

As for cancel culture, if you say something people don’t like, they stop listening to you. Isn’t that how it’s been forever?

That's a very benign interpretation of cancel culture. You do know that JK Rowling has had death threats, people stalking her home etc for her extremely reasonable, wholly not-transphobic piece about women's rights? That's cancel culture. Say something I disapprove of and I will try to exterminate you is cancel culture. Wanting people to lose their jobs, their homes, to live in fear of their lives for expressing an opinion or stating a fact - that is cancel culture.

ArcheryAnnie · 09/02/2022 22:45

@NannyOggsWhiskyStash

To answer questions, they are 20, 25 and 27. And no, I don't think transwomen are taking our space, they are women too.

Every time a woman cannot access a rape crisis centre because it has male-bodied people in it, those male-bodied people are taking a woman's space.

Every time someone who identifies as a woman only on Tuesdays and Thursdays wins "Businesswoman of the Year", they are taking a woman's space.

Everytime a gold medal is won in the women's category by someone with the inherent physical advantages that comes with being born male, they are taking a woman's space.

Every time a woman decides to leave a venue early because there isn't a loo she can safely assume will be single-sex, the people who stuck those trans symbols on the door of the Ladies are taking a woman's space.

Everytime a transwoman decides to use the women's changing rooms at the leisure centre, and other women quietly decide that it just isn't possible for them to go swimming any more, however much they enjoy it, that swimmer is taking a woman's space.

...you get the general drift.

Enough4me · 09/02/2022 22:50

It's not possible to remember someone's gender because gender is now a fluid concept. It's possible for Mike to wake as a man, declare he's a she through the day, and become feline for a night out (meow/meowself). The only way anyone would know Mike's pronouns is to check with Mike every second of the day.

Mike has the right to feel and self declare pronouns as much as he/she/meowself likes.

I agree this is really boring and at some point I hope it implodes!

Furries · 10/02/2022 00:12

@EeeICouldRipATissue

I have no shared identity with lots of the posters on here, I’m still a mum (as are most of the posters)

Just because someone else uses the term doesn’t mean you can’t

Exactly
In fact I've just been watching the news and one of the articles was about a little bit and they were interviewing his mum.
Underneath her talking, it said her name, and mum.
She must have missed the memo she's not allowed to call herself that anymore.
Or something.
Similarly I haven't seen anyone anywhere explode or implode at the use of the word mum.

Your posts are so bloody disingenuous - stop gaslighting.

You surely know that words are being removed from everyday use in important situations.

Women have breasts, not chests. Women have periods, they aren’t “people who menstruate”. Nor are they cervix-havers. Or any other mixture of the stupid made-up phrases currently being thrown around.

Anyone who is going through/has gone through the process of transitioning deserves to live their life freely. But, whichever way they are transitioning, they need to accept their reality. And that reality should not be at the expense of erasing sex-based rights, protections or language.

I keep waiting for one, solitary, TRA to post something meaningful. Something that will make me sit up and think “hang on a minute, am I wrong?”. Something that is backed up with data. Something that explains why it’s ok for something that shows why it’s ok for biological males to compete in women’s sport. Something that shows why it’s ok for biological males to be accepted, no questions allowed, in supposed safe spaces for victims of rape/DV. Something that shows why women should open up sex-segregated changing areas. I could go on all night with this list!

The list above could go on. But do you not notice one commonality throughout? Every single thing relies on women giving up SOMETHING. Safe spaces, language, awards. At NO point are males being asked to give up something. Concede something. Adjust their language. Adjust their thinking.

So, at the risk of a warning, fuck off with your flippant one- or two-liners.

Furries · 10/02/2022 00:20

@EeeICouldRipATissue

Isn't it LGBTQPC (for cat gender)? You what? Er, no.

Catgender has apparently been added to the list for one UK university. So, please don’t be catphobic. After all, if humans can change sex, why on earth can’t they change species altogether?

Furries · 10/02/2022 00:21

@DdraigGoch

Isn't it LGBTQPC (for cat gender)?

No, to include catgender it's LGBTQFPWJVRNDRVFSNR as the sod walks over the keyboard.

Genius 🐾🐾🐾

mummykel16 · 10/02/2022 00:22

@MixMatch

The so called "transitioning" of children (who are all vulnerable in some way due to their age and often other factors) which is being sanctioned by some people in government and pushed by others with their own agendas, is going to be a HUGE scandal within a few decades.

We are talking about children who due to their age, are legally unable to even consent to a TATTOO 😳 Yet they are having their bodies and development changed beyond all recognition through life changing surgery and drugs.

It's utter madness how ANYONE can defend this and these children are being let down by the conspiracy of silence by everyone. This is despite high profile court cases and whistle-blowers from the gender "clinic" in London.

Follow the money

Furries · 10/02/2022 00:25

[quote nanbread]@FOJN

Well that's OK then, she's been compensated for being sent enough rape and death threats to wallpaper her house.

Threats of violence to people like this are abhorrent -

but they are not the same as being "cancelled".

I'm not sure why you are confusing the two?[/quote]
Seriously? The attempts to cancel her are monumental. And the fact that they’re not succeeding results in the ramping up of the more vile methods. To call those attempts as not attempting to cancel is blooming ridiculous.

Furries · 10/02/2022 00:33

@MixMatch

The so called "transitioning" of children (who are all vulnerable in some way due to their age and often other factors) which is being sanctioned by some people in government and pushed by others with their own agendas, is going to be a HUGE scandal within a few decades.

We are talking about children who due to their age, are legally unable to even consent to a TATTOO 😳 Yet they are having their bodies and development changed beyond all recognition through life changing surgery and drugs.

It's utter madness how ANYONE can defend this and these children are being let down by the conspiracy of silence by everyone. This is despite high profile court cases and whistle-blowers from the gender "clinic" in London.

Thank you for your posts - they are very insightful. What I want to say is probably trite, so I won’t expand any further than I feel for all of those involved in your line of work.

Furries · 10/02/2022 00:47

And, before certain people jump on me with regards to my words used above. Yes, I am fully are that some women will sadly no longer have breasts. And I’m fully aware that all women, once they reach a certain age, no longer menstruate. And I’m saying now that I meant no offence by those comments - and believe that women would take no offence by them. Women know they are women, no matter what shit is thrown at them by the fact that they are flipping born that way!

The one that really twists my melon is the fact that only women are able to give birth. Spin anything else whichever way you want to - but you are never going to see a biological male bring a new life into this world. Words, as well as biological facts, are important. The sooner some people wake up to this, the sooner we can maybe navigate or way around important sticking points.

EeeICouldRipATissue · 10/02/2022 01:40

Genius 🐾
Blimey, doesn't take much nowadays

Furries · 10/02/2022 02:24

@EeeICouldRipATissue

Genius 🐾 Blimey, doesn't take much nowadays

Thankfully, sense of humour is firmly intact here. Weird that this was the one word post you chose to respond to, rather than anything else posted.

Please, come back with something that totally blows my other queries or points away. I actually would like to try to understand - I’ve lurked and read for a while, but am not seeing anything that is explained in a way that isn’t very short sentences that offer nothing but the essence of “shut up, bigot”.

Why ignore everything else and focus on that one word post?

RantyAunty · 10/02/2022 02:34

It's a fad.

I'll treat them just like everyone else. I'm not a rude or hateful person.

I won't navel gaze with them as it's boring like sport, celebrity gossip, etc.

ohfook · 10/02/2022 02:41

Are you seeing this in real life or just online?

Granted I don't live in a very cosmopolitan area of the U.K. but the world I read about online bares no resemblance to my day to day existence.

Online everybody is a good-bank supporting, liberal, left-wing remainder who manages the balance between being a feminist who also supports trans women, is actively anti-racist and concerned about climate change. If that were the case, we'd be living in an Labour run, EU member state which had successfully eradicated racism, transphobia and homophobia and was well on its way to becoming carbon neutral. Clearly this is not the case!

user1496146479 · 10/02/2022 02:51

@FordSiesta

I've got to the stage where I feel quite apprehensive about the future. It just feels like there will be no 'men' or 'women' or 'boys' and 'girls' and everyone will need to conform to various gender identities and have to remember all the different ways people identify so as not to accidently offend anyone. I'm supportive of transgender people and understand people changing from male to female or vice versa but now there's all this non-binary stuff it's getting confusing.

All these things going on in this 'woke society' and if you aren't seen as wanting to conform with all this new stuff then the 'cancel culture' comes at you.

I just feel like I would be happy if there wasn't so much pressure placed on people to get pronouns correct if for millions of years we've used he/him and she/her and now we need to say they/them when we were taught in school they/them was plural.

I don't have kids yet but I do wonder if I did what the world would be like for them growing up.

AIBU for wanting to just continue with two genders?

I could have written this!