AIBU to feel overwhelmed by non-binary, cancel culture, and woke society?

[FordSiesta]

I've got to the stage where I feel quite apprehensive about the future. It just feels like there will be no 'men' or 'women' or 'boys' and 'girls' and everyone will need to conform to various gender identities and have to remember all the different ways people identify so as not to accidently offend anyone. I'm supportive of transgender people and understand people changing from male to female or vice versa but now there's all this non-binary stuff it's getting confusing.

All these things going on in this 'woke society' and if you aren't seen as wanting to conform with all this new stuff then the 'cancel culture' comes at you.

I just feel like I would be happy if there wasn't so much pressure placed on people to get pronouns correct if for millions of years we've used he/him and she/her and now we need to say they/them when we were taught in school they/them was plural.

I don't have kids yet but I do wonder if I did what the world would be like for them growing up.

AIBU for wanting to just continue with two genders?

I have no shared identity with lots of the posters on here, I’m still a mum (as are most of the posters)

Just because someone else uses the term doesn’t mean you can’t

Exactly
In fact I've just been watching the news and one of the articles was about a little bit and they were interviewing his mum.
Underneath her talking, it said her name, and mum.
She must have missed the memo she's not allowed to call herself that anymore.
Or something.
Similarly I haven't seen anyone anywhere explode or implode at the use of the word mum.

About a little boy, not bit.
Stupid autocorrect

@FordSiesta

I've got to the stage where I feel quite apprehensive about the future. It just feels like there will be no 'men' or 'women' or 'boys' and 'girls' and everyone will need to conform to various gender identities and have to remember all the different ways people identify so as not to accidently offend anyone. I'm supportive of transgender people and understand people changing from male to female or vice versa but now there's all this non-binary stuff it's getting confusing.

All these things going on in this 'woke society' and if you aren't seen as wanting to conform with all this new stuff then the 'cancel culture' comes at you.

I just feel like I would be happy if there wasn't so much pressure placed on people to get pronouns correct if for millions of years we've used he/him and she/her and now we need to say they/them when we were taught in school they/them was plural.

I don't have kids yet but I do wonder if I did what the world would be like for them growing up.

AIBU for wanting to just continue with two genders?

Eh?

I can't relate with most of what you say.

The vast majority of people still identify as male and female for a start.

What is cancel culture and who has actually been cancelled when they didn't deserve it? J K Rowling's book sales went up recently?

Not exactly cancelled?

Most people are understanding while we all get to grips with new pronouns for the small minority of people who use them and won't get aggro as long as they see people are trying and not wilfully getting it wrong.

I doubt it will be confusing for our DC as they will have grown up with it.

Bit like how as a child there were v few gay couples in the public eye, nowadays we explain to our kids that sometimes men fall in love with other men and women fall in love with other women, that would have probably caused some hand wringing with previous generations.

I have no shared identity with lots of the posters on here, I’m still a mum (as are most of the posters).

Woman is not an identity, it is an objective biological fact. I'm not a mum but if you are a female who gave birth to a baby then I know you and I have basic biology in common, we do not share this common biology with men.

Just because someone else uses the term doesn’t mean you can’t.

Is it possible you have missed reporting on words relating to the female body being removed from policy and information documents in a number of settings? When women become menstruators, chest feeders and birthing people it uncouples those very sex specific terms from the word woman and gives legitimacy to the question, "what is a woman". If we can't accurately define women as adult human females because the category also includes adult human males then how do things like laws against sex discrimination work? It matters, sex matters; women are not disadvantaged by a love of lipstick but by our biology, we need language to articulate the experiences unique to the female sex.

I have no shared identity with lots of the posters on here, I’m still a mum (as are most of the posters).

Just because someone else uses the term doesn’t mean you can’t.

You're completely missing the point.

If "woman" is a word that means "female person", I am one and trans women aren't.

If "woman" is a word for a gender identity, then I am not one, and there is no word for what I am, and no toilets, changing rooms or sporting categories for me.

If trans women are women then the word is utterly meaningless.

The vast majority of people still identify as male and female for a start.

No they don't, because those are not identities.

Everyone IS either male or female, even the so-called non binary people. Trans women are male and trans men are female.

I agree OP. The world seems to have gone mad! Thankfully I am able to stay out of it for most of the time so it's not going to overwhelm me. There are far more important issues facing the world.

@babyjellyfish ok well most people still use male or female pronouns, then. And most people use the pronouns of their biological sex.

Completely agree.

I get so angry about this. Gender is not sex. You can identify as a flea beetle if you want. I'll happily refer to you as whatever you want.

But try and tell my children then can identify with a gender - bollocks to that.

I seriously think there are far far far bigger issues to be concerned about. Like food banks, social injustice and potential bloody war.

@everythingisgoingup

Agree FordSiesta

I am confused with the number of letters now LGBTQP+

An alphabet 🤔

Isn't it LGBTQPC (for cat gender)?

@flowerycurtain Agree!

Isn't it LGBTQPC (for cat gender)?
You what?
Er, no.

www.newsweek.com/nearly-40-percent-us-gen-zs-30-percent-christians-identify-lgbtq-poll-shows-1641085

So 30% of Millenials and almost 40% of Gen Z claim they are LTBTQ+.

@Scianel

www.newsweek.com/nearly-40-percent-us-gen-zs-30-percent-christians-identify-lgbtq-poll-shows-1641085

So 30% of Millenials and almost 40% of Gen Z claim they are LTBTQ+.

Because then they get a free pass on abhorrent behaviour. Also with all the free rides given to them and the hassles it avoids is it really surprising?

I know it feels different, because one is a name and one is a pronoun, but in actual conversation, with a real person, the end result is precisely the same: either you try something with the intention of honouring what someone has asked, or you don't bother cos you don't agree with/understand why they're asking. It's not about being 'kind', it's about basic etiquette in conversation.

It's never been basic etiquette in conversation to ask people to use made up pronouns for people.

Basic etiquette has been to use preferred proper nouns and titles, although not always if people are using a fake name or title that they aren't entitled to. Typically in instances like that people make a judgement about whether it should be just let be or needs to be addressed in some way.

Pronouns are by their very nature are not individualized.

What is cancel culture and who has actually been cancelled when they didn't deserve it? J K Rowling's book sales went up recently?

Not exactly cancelled?
@nanbread just because the online thugs failed to silence JKR and others, it doesn't make their attempt any less sinister.

A pronoun is something you use about people in the third person, so when they are not there.
Previously such compelled speech around how people talk about you when you're not even present was the preserve of gods and kings.
No-one has any right to dictate or know what other people say about them when they are not present. Anything else is staggering levels of egotism.

Isn't it LGBTQPC (for cat gender)?

No, to include catgender it's LGBTQFPWJVRNDRVFSNR as the sod walks over the keyboard.

@EeeICouldRipATissue

Isn't it LGBTQPC (for cat gender)? You what? Er, no.

Catgender identities are valid too. You're very catphobic. Perhaps you should educate yourself on feline feelings.

I think we need a flag. Preferably a soft, woollen one...

What is cancel culture and who has actually been cancelled when they didn't deserve it?

Who decides who "deserves it"? Did Kathleen Stock deserve to be hounded out of her job? Did Maya Forstater deserve not to have her contract renewed?Did the women campaigning for women's rights deserve to be arrested?

J K Rowling's book sales went up recently?

Well that's OK then, she's been compensated for being sent enough rape and death threats to wallpaper her house.

I refuse to use nonsense pronouns and largely ignore it all. Most of them will grow out of it when they actual problems to face. In the meantime a bit of indulgence will probably help a few of the most troubled teenagers.

But as one teenager said to me recently, it's all just rubbish, they need to get a life.

So 30% of Millenials and almost 40% of Gen Z claim they are LTBTQ+

This is why the phase will peak and pass, it’s getting too mainstream to be shocking anymore. The “not like the other girls” demiboi, trans masc, “enbies” or whatever are now exactly like all their friends.

And for all the “No one really knows who is a man or a woman” anymore everyone still knows which of their parents was impregnated by the other.

Yes it is ridiculous

@FOJN

Well that's OK then, she's been compensated for being sent enough rape and death threats to wallpaper her house.

Threats of violence to people like this are abhorrent -

but they are not the same as being "cancelled".

I'm not sure why you are confusing the two?

[quote nanbread]@FOJN

Well that's OK then, she's been compensated for being sent enough rape and death threats to wallpaper her house.

Threats of violence to people like this are abhorrent -

but they are not the same as being "cancelled".

I'm not sure why you are confusing the two?[/quote]
Being cancelled is what happened to Milli Hill after she refused to apologise for saying that obstetric violence is violence against women.