I was born in NI. But grew up in England from the age of two. I feel both Irish and English. We used to go 'home' as my mum always referred to it, every second summer during the troubles.
I can say, having listened to people both sides of the water, that in England there's just huge ignorance about it all. Many English people don't even know the difference between the ROI and NI fully, let alone the history. English people are like Irish people, in their essence - that is, human! People are people. You get nice and not-so-nice people everywhere.
I think where the troubles are concerned, many people see it much more from the perspective of their 'side'. Because that's the way it was spun to them, when in fact, the history of NI is extremely complicated, and nothing black and white about it at all.
Without doubt, horrors were committed by many individuals and groups over the course of the troubles. All very wrong. I agree that the army and police should have been held to a higher standard than terrorists, and some of their actions were utterly appalling. In Britain there's such veneration of the military, and I really struggle with it, as a pacifist. Many British people probably can't bear to face the fact that their own beloved forces were guilty of anything. But, more than that, I think many English people don't take any interest in NI at all, because they're busy with their own lives etc. So they rarely think about it. Of course there'll always be exceptions to this.
I do have to say though that ignorance of past situations isn't exclusive to English people and NI. It's a fairly universal phenomenon. I met a man from Dublin, with republican sympathies, who was so obsessed with the oppression of Catholics that he was totally unaware of the persecution of protestants throughout Europe in the past, including the Huguenots in France. I explained to him that in most of Europe it was much more that way round. He didn't know, and had never heard of the Huguenots, which to me seemed extraordinary. Many people of Huguenot descent ended up in Ireland, so it's not unrelated. So, I think we all have our blank spots, blind spots and biases. I fear it's human nature, a psychological survival mechanism. It doesn't make it OK, but there it is...
Fortunately, I was brought up to respect everyone, and always taught that bigotry of any kind is indefensible. Sadly, some people are taught to hate. I think this is getting better as time goes on, and the human race is improving as a species. We've already come on leaps and bounds since medieval times, but still a long way to go. We'll get there one day hopefully! Seeing all human beings as our brothers and sisters is the way forward...