Hi OP
I completely get where you are coming from. This is not a nice situation but please just take a moment to breathe. Some of what you’ve said is alarming and obviously not ideal practice but you need to put this into perspective. Understandably many parents are extra vigilant about their new babies, but you cannot control the actions of others or baby for that matter unless you keep baby in a bubble!
Try and focus on the fact HV did put sanitiser on her gloves before putting any fingers into baby’s mouth. That would have neutralised any nasties to a significant extent, meaning it’s very unlikely if these were present they could cause baby any harm. A fresh pair of gloves would have been better, but unfortunately others don’t always follow your high and perfectly reasonable standards for your baby. Do not beat yourself up for not insisting on this, it sounds like you’d been distracted trying to sort out her demands and that’s not your fault. I would request a different health visitor for your next appointment.
The clinical waste bin although people have pointed out is opened by foot, I think the OP’s concern is stuff was pushed into it. I get that, and it was your partner who saw this, so remember his account could be coming from a place of more heightened anxiety too. She may just have dropped the stuff in there and lowered her hand in a bit. Any used gloves in there would have been turned inside-out when taken off. And assuming the room is being used by health visitors for kids, it would just be stuff from other infants in there like tissues they laid on etc. Not a huge concern!
I think the risk from this bin, and door handles touched etc, is negligible. And the hand sanitiser makes this risk even lower.
I think it helps to put things in perspective, and if that means overthinking stuff as demonstrated above then so be it if it helps you get some peace of mind and closure. When I first read your thread I thought she’d come into your home, and then shoved an ungloved finger into baby’s mouth. The above scenario is actually much less concerning although not ideal. You could complain but as I said I’d just insist on someone else next time.
Some things since my baby has been born:
- midwife ungloved but washed hand on baby’s mouth without asking
- department store Santa putting visibly dirty looking rough hands on baby’s hand and face without asking
- relative letting baby stick fingers in their mouth without asking
- relative not sterilising spoon and telling me off for asking her to (my mum of all people)
- HV handling and sticking plaster on baby with ungloved hands
- partner pulling bottle teat through with unwashed hands where he’d just arrived home after being out touching door handles etc
- baby biting on shopping just placed in trolly
- baby biting trolly handle
- relatives handing baby things to eat with unwashed hands
- partner touching parcels that just been delivered then handling baby
Consequences for above (that actually span over a year in time): for baby, none. For me, anxiety and upset at the time. But as the child gets older you do begin to relax a little bit and realise that they are going to come into contact with all kinds of germs, viruses etc. There has to be a balance between maintaining good hygiene and not freaking out unnecessarily but I think this can be gradually learned as the journey of parenthood progresses.
All the best OP I really hope you find some peace today