Health visitor put finger in 4 week old’s mouth

[zeena83]

And she didn’t wash her hands. I was too busy being freaked out by her talking about my baby’s failure to gain enough weight and before I could say anything she was checking him for tongue tie and had her finger in his mouth. She had also been putting things in the clinical waste bin and did not wash her hands although I don’t think there was anything too gross in it, it wasn’t a room where anything particularly clinical happens. What should I do? All I can do is sit here worrying about what he might have caught, I am so so desperately upset by this

Whilst I doubt anything bad will happen to your baby and you have nothing to worry about in that sense I completely understand why you're upset and I would be too.
Any health professional I've seen who needed to touch me or my children has always put gloves on or washed hands right before doing it and made a point of doing it where I could see.
What the health visitor has done is disgusting and bad practice and i bet her guidance would be to wash hands or put gloves on before shoveling her hand in someone's mouth.
I dont care if she may have washed her hands before seeing you, thats not a given and I believe it should have been done again in front of you if that's the case.

I'd have to say something, not a complaint but just let them know that it made me uncomfortable and caused me unnecessary worry.
She shouldn't have done this.

I can't believe how rude these responses are. This is a new mum, who has given birth during the pandemic, with a newborn baby that isn't gaining weight as it should. She's under a lot of pressure, she has a lot to worry about, and you all sound ridiculous and nasty piling on her like this.

It would clearly be standard practice for a nurse to wash their hands before doing this. OP is not out of line for expecting that. It's basic hygiene and we're living in a pandemic.

OP, you're not unreasonable. Your baby is unlikely to have caught anything, but the nurse should know better.

If you feel up to it, you could contact the centre and say you noticed she forgot to wash her hands and that it's made you anxious. They should know that, their job is dealing with new mums (including stressed ones) and they should be mindful that things like this are important not just to prevent the spreading of germs but to ensure people who come there can have confidence that the standards are high in general and that there is attention to detail.

Otherwise, take care of yourself. Your baby is unlikely to have any adverse consequences from that.

Weight gain stuff in a newborn is scary but remember that babies are tough and they all grow at different rates. Look after yourself

Something similar happened to me.

Peak covid. Lovely health visitor came to my house, put on fresh gloves, took my newborn, then ran his gloved fingers inside his mask to adjust it, and then immediately put his finger in my baby's mouth!

I was gobsmacked. He was so lovely too, so I think the combination kept me silent, but for ages I was so upset with myself for not raising it immediately. As a new mum, I felt I let my child down. But looking back nothing bad happened at all as a result.

Can we just stop with this "it's good for their immune system" shit.

The microbes that are good for them are not found on the fingers of health professionals.

Washing your hands between dealing with something that needed a clinical waste bin, and sticking your fingers in the mouth of a newborn is not ok.

Please let the team leader or your GP know.

I'm sure your baby will be fine, but that's not a high enough benchmark for a health visitor.

I think people don’t understand how gastric and respiratory systems work. They are already open portals into a body. It’s not ideal practice but unless you cover your child’s mouth every time they go down the street in a buggy or sanitise every bit of food you give them they will be fine OP (in the future)

When you child is old enough they will happily put hair, random stuff found on the floor, grass etc etc into their mouths all by themselves. Not a big deal.

Wait until you find her with a used plaster in her mouth that she picked up off a supermarket floor.

@LadyinRead

Wait until you find her with a used plaster in her mouth that she picked up off a supermarket floor.

Oh I didn’t realise 4 week old babies do that…

No it’s not the end of the world etc etc but if someone was to accost you in the street and stick their unwashed finger in your mouth you might not be overly welcoming of that, especially as we are still in a pandemic. So I imagine OP is just thinking the same applies to her baby

Ffs what this baby will stick in its mouth, months and months from now, when it is a healthy strong crawling 9 month old is not relevant in terms of what's ok to put in the mouth of a newborn that isn't gaining weight as it should.

Newborns are more vulnerable. That isn't the OP being precious, it's science and I'm sure it is was this health worker was taught during her training.

OP has every right to be concerned. If you would happily have a special stranger put their dirty finger in your mouth then i applaud you. But I wouldn't like that I see why OP doesn't either.

It's a bit gross but please don't worry about this, nothing will happen.
I voted YANBU just because you're a new mother and in what I call the crazy stage , I was there a few weeks ago so it's not an insult. Your hormones are all over the place and you're in super protective mode and sensitive to anything with regards to the baby but honestly there's absolutely no harm will come to him from this. Congratulations and enjoy your baby

I am so so desperately upset by this

Your child will be fine. Breathe.

Agree with @labyrinthlaziness I'd raise it as a concern.

Everybody saying you're being too bothered by it how would you like someone's bare finger in ur mouth? Eww

*bare and unwashed

You are a new mum and people are being terribly unkind to you.
Her baby is only 4 weeks old - it’s everyone else who needs to chill out and show her some support. New mums have been more worried about less. Besides we are in a pandemic and there has been a huge message about hand washing so I am not getting why people think she’s being unreasonable.

It's not ideal, but gently m, I think you should speak to your GP just in case. Post partum anxiety is very common and sneaks up on you after a baby, I have had it both times after my births.

Hi OP, I'm just wondering if you've had any trained feeding support for you and your baby if baby isn't gaining enough weight? Lots of HCP haven't had very much infant feeding training and sometimes you will find the advice you are given isn't quite up to date. If you are breastfeeding, calling the National Breastfeeding Helpline on 0300 100 0212 could be really useful to you, it's open 9.30-9.30. I'm sorry that this experience has caused you such anxiety, it is really tough being a new parent

It sounds really annoying but checking for a tongue tie is way more important. I remember some of your old threads last year where you seemed to be anxious over every little thing in your pregnancy. Please take it easy and maybe speak to your HV/GP if you keep on fretting as much as you do now. I read your other thread and your baby certainly won’t die because of it

Try to let this go. Having reared TWO children, and remembering that age quite well, whatever might have been on her fingers is probably far better than what they manage to put into their mouths without our knowledge on a daily basis.

Baby will be fine I'm guessing this is your first? As others have said they'll put worse things in their mouths my friends baby ate crayons once and did rainbow poos! 😊

I completely understand your worry op and would have felt the same when mine were babies. But nothing will happen to him at all, don’t worry.

@TheOrigRights

It would be an unusual FTM who didn't freak out about things like this. Coming onto a forum such as this would I hope give you reassurance, not a load of rude responses telling you to calm down.

We have been living in a world where the importance of washing our hands has been drummed into us. The OP has been pregnant and given birth during a pandemic.

I remember thinking how selfish my friend was when she visited me when I'd had my firstborn, and she brought her runny nosed toddler.

I remember fretting so much about the temperature of the house.

"oh wait until they're crawling" isn't helpful. Her 4 week old baby isn't crawling.

I agree with this. Both the sentiment, and the fact that as a chilled 'second time mum', I would have freaked out about this scenario this first time... and did!

I remember the midwife at the breastfeeding clinic checking my sons tongue movement with a finger that had been washed, but I noticed some dirt under her nails and I knew she'd spent time with her horses that morning. I ended up wondering whether I should be concerned about my son catching anything! I talked myself down in the end, realising that plenty of unwashed fingers and toys had already been in his mouth.

I also used to worry about all sorts of other things... room temperature, layers of clothing, sun cream for 30 seconds of exposure (e.g. house to car) during summer, bowel movements, etc. As a second time mum none of this concerns me as I know what I'm doing (and similarly also know what not to bother doing/worrying about).

OP, it would have been good practice for the HV to have washed her hands... but remember that your baby doesn't have clean hands and his/her fingers will be going in their mouth all the time, having touched you, other people, toys, etc. all of which is normal and helps to develop the immune system!

It's fine don't worry, in 10 months time you will laugh how you panicked about this whilst watching him crawl about the floor eating carpet fluff, dropped food and crumbs xx

I do not think your over reacting at all. That was so unprofessional and awful if im being honest. She will have been in her csr or public transport, in her work bag, at other people's houses ect and she puts her fingers in your week old baby mouth without washing them when there is covid about!!!! Shocking! Don't beat yourself up about not saying anything . A midwife dropped a bottle on the floor without sliding zbd then rammed it into my 6 day old babys mouth and I said nothing through pure shock and terror and embarrassment tbh. I'm a first time mother. Now I wish I said somthing. Honestly SOME of these "professionals " are vile they really are. I had A HORRIFIC experience in hospital having my daughter in November. The hospital rang to apologise and a HEALTH CARE ASSISTANT will be loosing her job for what she done. She had no right, she's got no medical qualifications or medical training yet she made a chart on my baby. Fuming isn't the word. Especially when an actual DOCTOR AND midwife came down and was horrified at the chart and said it was wrong . But anyway don't beat ur self up. The midwife should have known better. Id ring the surgery and report it. My baby st 10 weeks got covid, not nice. And midwives sticking their dirty unwashed fingers in a new born mouth is not good , its not professional,its not hygienic, its not right. They have a "duty of care" towards people and with covid aboit washing hands should be the number 1 thing before touching a baby never mind ramming her fingers it its mouth. I'm so sorry you went things abd are feeling upset. Ive read people say "it will be fine" bla bla bla, but I can tell its really bugging you abd I don't blame you. The bottle thing bugs me now, it makes you feel like they don't give a crap about giving your baby (or mine) germs or covid! P.s I have a house rabbit the midwife seen roaming about aswell and she didn't wipe or run bottle under water. I'm fuming now typing this . But yeah I feel you x

Am I seriously reading these comments right to OP?
"Its your first I guess "
"Anxiety "
"You will laugh about it later "
"Don't stress or worry"
And so on

Guys were in a freaking pandemic. The government has stressed about washing hands and this midwife has rammed her unwashed fingers into the new born mouth! She coukd have been touching somine with covid the appointment before or shoveling cat crap out of a litter tray or scratching her arse for all we know!

Please do not brush off OPs worries! She has every right to feel the way she does and I dont blame her. Yes toys ect ect might not be sterile. BUT you would expect a strangers fingers to be when there going into your babys mouth!

Honestly these comments brushing this ladys worry off has shocked me.

I really feel for her. WE ARE IN A PANDEMIC. NO ONE SHPUKD BE PUTTING UNWASHED FINGERS INTO ANY BABYS MOUTH.

Ask yourself this . How would you feel a midwife putting unwashed finger's into your 4 WEEK OLD baby mouth when there could be a chance she has covid 19 on them? Would you feel comfortable then or able to laugh it off then if them dirty fingers gave ur new born covid? Or would you be angry she didntgwash them?