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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Health visitor put finger in 4 week old’s mouth

160 replies

zeena83 · 07/02/2022 22:04

And she didn’t wash her hands. I was too busy being freaked out by her talking about my baby’s failure to gain enough weight and before I could say anything she was checking him for tongue tie and had her finger in his mouth. She had also been putting things in the clinical waste bin and did not wash her hands although I don’t think there was anything too gross in it, it wasn’t a room where anything particularly clinical happens. What should I do? All I can do is sit here worrying about what he might have caught, I am so so desperately upset by this

OP posts:
EarlGreywithLemon · 07/02/2022 22:56

I think that’s really bad practice. The midwives who saw us at home when DD was a newborn always sanitised their hands before they even touched her. (Even pre Covid) The health visitor never needed to touch her but I hope she would have too.

StScholastica · 07/02/2022 22:56

As a HCP, yeah that's not great practice to be honest. However he will be fine and try not yo worry.
I was aghast that the GP fitting my coil had an armful of fabric friendship bracelets......🤢

SiobhanSharpe · 07/02/2022 22:58

@FortniteBoysMum

In a couple months once baby is moving about you will find far worse in their mouth.
Yes indeed, we were so, so careful with DS until one day when he was sitting on a rug in the garden and managed lean right over and grab a solid puck of duck shit off the grass and stick it in his mouth. Could have been worse, I suppose, if it hadn't been solid..... We kept a couple of ducks at the time and thought the rug area was big enough to stop him touching the grass. After that we were a bit more relaxed.
2ndTimeRound90 · 07/02/2022 22:58

Your baby will be absolutely fine! As others have said, you won't be worrying about this in a few months when he will have all kinds of unhygienic stuff in his mouth. I tried my best to keep them separate, but my son still always managed to sneak one of our dog's toys in his mouth any chance he could...or would try and eat the dog's tail 🤦🏼‍♀️ it's impossible to keep babies in a sterile environment (and not good for them!)
On the other hand, best practice would have been for her to wash her hands immediately beforehand or wear gloves...but it isn't the end of the world

betwixtlives · 07/02/2022 23:00

What do you mean by ‘what should I do?’. Nothing obviously!

CandyMan89 · 07/02/2022 23:02

A family member did this to my first born after she'd been out for a ciggie. Ugh yuck! But my baby (now 6 year old) was absolutely fine.

buddylicious · 07/02/2022 23:04

Ideally she would have washed her hands though as covid is still around!

Aaaabbbcccc · 07/02/2022 23:05

People are being mean - OP May be struggling and many mums have issues with worry/anxiety in the early days. Not everyone feels oh babies are tough etc! OP, your baby will be fine. I would have reacted the same way but with time these reactions will become less intense. Don’t feel bad, some people just react this way. I remember I took my daughter on the street in the pram and a neighbours kid coughed on her by accident (all pre COVID) and I went back inside freaked it completely and had to wash her! Don’t worry you are in good company - just do what you can to dial down the reactions and enjoy your baby.

Littlehouseonthefairy · 07/02/2022 23:06

Wise up

Retisestress · 07/02/2022 23:07

TBH …I really think you need to relax..I genuinely don’t think I would have noticed or cared about it!!

LadyCleathStuart · 07/02/2022 23:07

I totally understand where you are coming from (I had post natal OCD and this would have driven me over the edge!) but honestly baby will be fine.

I hate it when people don't wash their hands though it is a very basic measure to take against infection.

Ozanj · 07/02/2022 23:08

The tongue tie is a bigger problem than the finger in baby’s mouth. Take a deep breath and focus on the bigger picture.

Givemehopeee · 07/02/2022 23:10

All these posts saying “wait until baby is older” are unhelpful. Yes when baby is older he will be covered in germs, but an older baby / toddler is very different from a newborn 4 week old and I assume a FTM.

Don’t worry. It wasn’t ideal but baby will be fine.

EishetChayil · 07/02/2022 23:10

Oh stop being so ridiculous!

Wafflesnsniffles · 07/02/2022 23:11

What the HV did isnt great but not a disaster. There is an analogy (think thats the right word) to do with dummies that is relavant in this situation.
First baby drops their dummy - you sterilise it before giving it back to baby
Second baby drops their dummy - you run it under the tap before giving it to baby
Third baby drops their dummy - you lick it and hand it back
Fourth baby drops their dummy - you dont even notice and if you do you just hand it back!

Flowers
Givemehopeee · 07/02/2022 23:12

@EishetChayil

Oh stop being so ridiculous!
Oh don’t be so rude.
n0shy · 07/02/2022 23:13

They do normally sanatize their hands, but I'm sure everything will be fine. My DS1 used like biting the rubber on the bottom of shoes! DS is like a scavenger I can hoover a hundered times but he still manages to find bits to put in his mouth, DS1 sometimes leaves crumbs and says don't worry baba will get it!!!!

Aaaabbbcccc · 07/02/2022 23:14

@EishetChayil

Oh stop being so ridiculous!
Biscuit
SquirrelG · 07/02/2022 23:15

I would complain about this personally, that is very bad practice. I wouldn't be rude or aggressive but I would drop a note out of 'concern'.

Oh for goodness sake - how ridiculous!

SantaClawsServiette · 07/02/2022 23:18

It's not good practice but possibly a brain fart. But it will be fine they all get crappy things in their mouth. My ds ate old dog shit shortly after he started walking, he's pretty normal.

TheOrigRights · 07/02/2022 23:28

It would be an unusual FTM who didn't freak out about things like this.
Coming onto a forum such as this would I hope give you reassurance, not a load of rude responses telling you to calm down.

We have been living in a world where the importance of washing our hands has been drummed into us. The OP has been pregnant and given birth during a pandemic.

I remember thinking how selfish my friend was when she visited me when I'd had my firstborn, and she brought her runny nosed toddler.

I remember fretting so much about the temperature of the house.

"oh wait until they're crawling" isn't helpful. Her 4 week old baby isn't crawling.

PixieLaLa · 07/02/2022 23:34
Hmm
Givemehopeee · 07/02/2022 23:36

@TheOrigRights

It would be an unusual FTM who didn't freak out about things like this. Coming onto a forum such as this would I hope give you reassurance, not a load of rude responses telling you to calm down.

We have been living in a world where the importance of washing our hands has been drummed into us. The OP has been pregnant and given birth during a pandemic.

I remember thinking how selfish my friend was when she visited me when I'd had my firstborn, and she brought her runny nosed toddler.

I remember fretting so much about the temperature of the house.

"oh wait until they're crawling" isn't helpful. Her 4 week old baby isn't crawling.

Well said! Wonder what things all these super chill posters would freak out about as FTMs…
Givemehopeee · 07/02/2022 23:36

@PixieLaLa

Hmm
What’s your point?
SeasonFinale · 07/02/2022 23:36

Presumably she washed her hands between appointments?