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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Health visitor put finger in 4 week old’s mouth

160 replies

zeena83 · 07/02/2022 22:04

And she didn’t wash her hands. I was too busy being freaked out by her talking about my baby’s failure to gain enough weight and before I could say anything she was checking him for tongue tie and had her finger in his mouth. She had also been putting things in the clinical waste bin and did not wash her hands although I don’t think there was anything too gross in it, it wasn’t a room where anything particularly clinical happens. What should I do? All I can do is sit here worrying about what he might have caught, I am so so desperately upset by this

OP posts:
labyrinthlaziness · 08/02/2022 05:38

@KeeG8181

It's fine don't worry, in 10 months time you will laugh how you panicked about this whilst watching him crawl about the floor eating carpet fluff, dropped food and crumbs xx
There is a massive difference between 4 weeks and 10 months in immune terms.
labyrinthlaziness · 08/02/2022 05:39

@Ireolu

When you child is old enough they will happily put hair, random stuff found on the floor, grass etc etc into their mouths all by themselves. Not a big deal.
The key part of this being 'old enough' not 4 weeks.

Plus, the HV should know better.

Boscoforever · 08/02/2022 07:28

I wash my hands thoroughly in between cases and clean down all surfaces and equipment etc with anti-bac wipes. I'm sure she does the same, it's standard practice.

OfstedOffred · 08/02/2022 08:04

Ha you are going to struggle with a 14m old who licks the cat/eats stuff out of bins/puts worms in their mouth

OfstedOffred · 08/02/2022 08:11

How would you feel a midwife putting unwashed finger's into your 4 WEEK OLD baby mouth when there could be a chance she has covid 19 on them

Babies are at negligible risk from Covid! Also babies that young still have some residual protection from their mothers immune system via the placenta. We should be far more worried about things like RSV or Herpes for babies than Covid

Pinkstegosaurus · 08/02/2022 08:40

As above - I’d be far more concerned about a newborn getting RSV/herpes etc than bloody covid. Honestly OP, it’s not great, comment on it if you have the energy but I’m sure your baby will be fine.
To the hysterical poster banging on about the pandemic still…probably not what a new mum needs to hear right now when she has probably already considering this?? Also, bloody pandemic 🙄

Original poster
zeena83 · 08/02/2022 09:12

Sadly am now just spiralling and googling everything to do with RSV…am utterly panicked and convinced he is going to end up in hospital and/or die

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 08/02/2022 09:16

How do you know her hands weren't washed before you came into the room? Did she use hand sanitizer?

Sally872 · 08/02/2022 09:18

You need to try an calm down. Baby will be fine. It is normal to be cautious and a little anxious but this seems more than that I would seek some help for yourself.

TheOrigRights · 08/02/2022 09:19

@zeena83

Sadly am now just spiralling and googling everything to do with RSV…am utterly panicked and convinced he is going to end up in hospital and/or die
OK, well this is not good.

Can you call your midwife or HV? They will both reassure you the risk to your baby is negligible and also help you with your overall anxiety. Are you aware that this spiralling is not a rational response?

The feeling of complete vulnerability over certain things being out of your hands is something you learn as a new Mother. You can do your best to keep your child safe and well, but some things are out of your control and if you let those feelings run they will engulf you.

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad OP.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 08/02/2022 09:19

It's not unreasonable to expect basic hygiene in a medical setting but your baby will be fine.

Marmelace · 08/02/2022 09:19

Caught my youngest sucking on the dogs tail.

Hankunamatata · 08/02/2022 09:20

OP calmly tell us what happened.

The room would have been sanitised between appointments every surface wiped down. Then HV would have done a thorough hand wash and then used hand sanitizer. You would have then been called in for the appointment. If she has only touched your baby and sanitizer surfaces, why would she need cleanse her hands again?

You also didn't say if she used hand sanitizer?

WitchWithoutChips · 08/02/2022 09:20

Deep breath, OP. Do you have a history of anxiety?

FelicityPike · 08/02/2022 09:21

Are you the same lady who was panicking when she used Dettol and lavender soap when she was pregnant?
Did you get/ are you getting help for your fears/ concerns/ worries?
If not, then I strongly advise that you do.
Good luck.

Footnote · 08/02/2022 09:22

You don’t sound very well, I think you may need to see a doctor for yourself and tell them your thought processes.

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/02/2022 09:23

SonicBroom

If this is the biggest thing you have to worry about in respect of your baby then please count your lucky stars. And chill TF out.“

No need to be so rude.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 08/02/2022 09:24

Oh OP, from a mother of 3 I can pretty much assure you he won't die. Over the years so many gross things have gone into my kids mouths. In the end you just go 'oh for goodness sake'
2 come to mind for me. I was hanging out washing, my 2 year old was handing me the pegs. I turned to hang something up, turned back and could see she had something in her mouth. I thought it was a stone, I calmly asked her to take it out as its dirty... out popped a slug. Cue Panic and a call to NHS direct. She hadn't bitten it so all fine.

Also, my other DD, we were out picking berries. Dd bent down whilst I was sorting out my coat. She stood up looked at me in disgust, she had goose poo in her mouth!

Honestly, a finger from a health visitor who most likely washed her hands/sanitised before coming to your home will not cause your baby to have any medical emergencies.

cdba88 · 08/02/2022 09:27

@zeena83

Sadly am now just spiralling and googling everything to do with RSV…am utterly panicked and convinced he is going to end up in hospital and/or die
This is not a normal response at all.

Call your HV and explain what you're feeling. Or your GP. Just get yourself some support.

SmallThingsEverywhere · 08/02/2022 09:29

OP you’ve just mentioned that you’re spiralling. Are you normally this anxious? Have you sought help from your GP or Health Visitor? I’d make an appointment to speak to someone as soon as you can so this doesn’t get any worse.

CherryBlossomCheer · 08/02/2022 09:30

He isn’t going to end up in hospital or did. Please don’t think that.

She shouldn’t have done it but that doesn’t mean anything bad will come of it. I wouldn’t expect any healthcare professional to examine my mouth without gloves on and the same courtesy should be extended to babies and children. I think you should make a complaint as this won’t be recommended practice, and it’s caused you unnecessary stress.

CherryBlossomCheer · 08/02/2022 09:31

Or die*

Pinkstegosaurus · 08/02/2022 09:32

OP if your Health Visitor has a text service (mine was on a sticker on the front of the red book) maybe send them a message asking for a call to have a chat and talk over how you’re feeling. I know your baby is so young but they are definitely resilient little things! My small DD was about the same age when we visited a friend with a 14 month old, I had DD in the car seat and he was looking at her, took me and friend a hot second to realise that he’d been sucking his fingers and then casually stuck one in DD’s mouth 🤦‍♀️ She was fine, had that lovely baffled newborn expression on her face but didn’t suffer any further ill effects.

SmallThingsEverywhere · 08/02/2022 09:33

@CherryBlossomCheer

He isn’t going to end up in hospital or did. Please don’t think that.

She shouldn’t have done it but that doesn’t mean anything bad will come of it. I wouldn’t expect any healthcare professional to examine my mouth without gloves on and the same courtesy should be extended to babies and children. I think you should make a complaint as this won’t be recommended practice, and it’s caused you unnecessary stress.

Do we definitely know that she hadn't washed her hands? This is being told from the perspective of a highly anxious new mum.
MrsSkylerWhite · 08/02/2022 09:34

Marmelace

Caught my youngest sucking on the dogs tail.“

At 4 weeks?