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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's me or the dog.....!

116 replies

justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 19:48

Ok so this whole issue is really REALLY getting me down.

I live in a small (2 bed) cottage. No garden but small courtyard out front and back. Around 1.5 years ago my partner moved in with me. He's amazing, I love him to bits but he brought with his his v large dog. Now I KNOW I signed up for it. Knew he came with the dog in tow so I get that.

BUT OMG I cannot have the dog in the house any more. No matter what we do he smells. You walk into the living room and the smell just hits you. He won't stop getting up on the sofas and every now and again he makes this horrible choking noice and gobs a bit 🤢. Vet checked him over and said it comes with age (he's 11).

This evening we have come to blows over it again. He jumped up on the sofa and got mud all over it. Again. I've ended up walking out and driving off to cool down.

It feels like there is just no solution to this.I feel driven out of my own home. When I go back I'll probably sit upstairs because of the smell. I feel like such a bitch because he's so good with the dog. I just cannot stand the smell and dribble.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

What do I do????

OP posts:
Chichimcgee · 07/02/2022 19:50

It’s been 18 months.
The dog is 11. Depending on breed he might not have long left, he might have years.
I think dogs do come with slobber and dirt but you can get doggy shampoo and deodorant to help the smell, you’re also supposed to brush their teeth so their breath doesn’t smell.

WorriedGiraffe · 07/02/2022 19:51

Sounds like you and your partner arnt compatible, hopefully he won’t get rid of an 11 year old dog. Why wasn’t the mud cleaned off the dog? Why does he smell so badly, is it gassy or unclean? Basically is your partner actually making the effort to keep the dog clean and smelling less?

Thatoldgumtree · 07/02/2022 19:53

YABU

Quite frankly anyone who would give heir dog up due to this wouldn’t be someone I’d be interested starting a life with.

I don’t like dogs and therefore wouldn’t date or move in with someone who had one, I wouldn’t even get with a dog person due to the chances of them someday wanting one.

You have lived like this for 18 months, agreed to have them move in, you can’t now expect your partner to choose between you.

Original poster
justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 19:54

@WorriedGiraffe

Sounds like you and your partner arnt compatible, hopefully he won’t get rid of an 11 year old dog. Why wasn’t the mud cleaned off the dog? Why does he smell so badly, is it gassy or unclean? Basically is your partner actually making the effort to keep the dog clean and smelling less?
Yes! And this is why I feel so bad. He's such a good dog owner. The dog is v healthy and lean for his age thanks to all the walks etc. I don't get the smell. No matter what we buy to clean him it's just always the same. My partner says he can't smell it so perhaps it's just me not being used to dogs 🙈
OP posts:
Original poster
justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 19:55

@Thatoldgumtree

YABU

Quite frankly anyone who would give heir dog up due to this wouldn’t be someone I’d be interested starting a life with.

I don’t like dogs and therefore wouldn’t date or move in with someone who had one, I wouldn’t even get with a dog person due to the chances of them someday wanting one.

You have lived like this for 18 months, agreed to have them move in, you can’t now expect your partner to choose between you.

Yeah u are right. I just find it difficult to deal with the smell etc xx
OP posts:
Hugasauras · 07/02/2022 19:55

I think you're either a dog person or you aren't and you're not. Your partner is, and he has a responsibility to his dog. I'd also wonder if he would be happy not having a dog again (as a dog-lover, I wouldn't be happy with this) once this one is gone.

Realistically, he has to move out with the dog if you can't live with normal doggy life stuff. If he's asked to choose, I imagine (and hope) he would choose the dog.

CircleofWillis · 07/02/2022 19:55

I think separate houses is the answer here until the dog dies (hopefully of old age).

Living with an old smelly dog that you have no fondness for is not fun at all. Your partner has had all the fun puppy and younger dog years and can put up with the inconvenience because they love each other.

At the moment it is just not working for you or your house.

WhereYouLeftIt · 07/02/2022 19:57

How do you feel about your partner and his dog moving elsewhere until the dog is no more? Is it feasible?

And what is the life expectancy for the breed?

Aprilx · 07/02/2022 19:57

What do you want your partner to do with an 11 year old dog?

Sexnotgender · 07/02/2022 19:58

What type of dog?

If it’s a big dog they tend to not live as long as smaller breeds. 11 is pretty old in dog years.

Some basic rules like clean the mud off the dog might help!

Original poster
justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 19:58

@Hugasauras

I think you're either a dog person or you aren't and you're not. Your partner is, and he has a responsibility to his dog. I'd also wonder if he would be happy not having a dog again (as a dog-lover, I wouldn't be happy with this) once this one is gone.

Realistically, he has to move out with the dog if you can't live with normal doggy life stuff. If he's asked to choose, I imagine (and hope) he would choose the dog.

He has said he wouldn't have another dog after this one. It's difficult as he travels a lot with work so the dog goes to a doggy day care thing as I can't look after him on my own.

I'm definitely not a dog person. I didn't realise it but I'm not 😔

OP posts:
dudsville · 07/02/2022 19:59

Whatever you do please don't ask your partner to get rid of their dog, it would be kinder for you to either get to grips or end it. I would hope he wouldn't agree to get rid of his dog, but my heart aches for the poor creatures who have no say as to whether they live with those who love then or not.

Original poster
justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 20:00

@Sexnotgender

What type of dog?

If it’s a big dog they tend to not live as long as smaller breeds. 11 is pretty old in dog years.

Some basic rules like clean the mud off the dog might help!

He's a Weimaraner Xx
OP posts:
Mamamia7962 · 07/02/2022 20:00

Does the dog have regular baths?

I have 2 smallish dogs and hate that "wet dog smell" that you can get. My dogs go to the dog groomers regularly and when it's raining and they get wet they are dried with a hair dryer and dog grooming spray put on them. I also wash their bedding regularly.

There are things that you can do to stop your house smelling.

damnthisvirusandmarriage · 07/02/2022 20:00

If he’s slobbery get him a bandana bibby thing to catch it.

Why is he smelly? Get to the route cause of that. Is it the dog that smells or the sofas/carpet/his bed?

Is he brushed regularly? Is it because he gets wet and smells?

Ask to compromise. Wouldn’t a nice orthopaedic dog bed be much better for his ageing joints than the sofa? Getting up and down off the sofa will put pressure on those joints.

Coat for when he goes out if raining.

Ya know. You can make this work x

RaginaPhalange · 07/02/2022 20:01

@dudsville

Whatever you do please don't ask your partner to get rid of their dog, it would be kinder for you to either get to grips or end it. I would hope he wouldn't agree to get rid of his dog, but my heart aches for the poor creatures who have no say as to whether they live with those who love then or not.
^ This.

You knew he came with a dog.

Ikeptgoing · 07/02/2022 20:02

Well, his large dog smells, is muddy and you have a small house

Your DP can wash his dog and clean mud off his DDog before he enters house, that's just laziness if he doesn't

I'm not a dog person
Your DP has moved in an awkward teenager of a dog who he doesn't bother to Twain nor to sit on furniture nor cleans mud off of.

Dogs don't have to smell - regular baths, cleaning before they come into the house, and doggie teeth cleaning

Ikeptgoing · 07/02/2022 20:02

Clean not Twain

TheChip · 07/02/2022 20:02

If everything else within your relationship is great, then I'd really try and suck this one up if I were you.
You couldn't ask him to choose between you or the dog. That would be really awful. Especially given the dogs age.

Tanfastic · 07/02/2022 20:03

The only thing I can suggest is your partner moves out until the dog dies. That could be another four or five years (my smelly dog lives until he was 15). However, if he's a dog lover and you are not then that would be a dealbreaker for me (as a dog lover).

Please don't ask him to choose between you and the dog.

Ikeptgoing · 07/02/2022 20:03

Ah i meant train not Twain

Soubriquet · 07/02/2022 20:03

You give me that ultimatum and I would be moving out and taking my dog.

So unless you’re prepared to genuinely lose him, don’t make the thread

Sexnotgender · 07/02/2022 20:03

Weimaraner’s tend to live 10-14 years. He’s an old dog already.

Soubriquet · 07/02/2022 20:03

Threat*

Notonthestairs · 07/02/2022 20:03

What are you expecting him to do? Would you like him to move out until the dog dies?

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