It's me or the dog.....!

[justustwoandmoo]

Ok so this whole issue is really REALLY getting me down.

I live in a small (2 bed) cottage. No garden but small courtyard out front and back. Around 1.5 years ago my partner moved in with me. He's amazing, I love him to bits but he brought with his his v large dog. Now I KNOW I signed up for it. Knew he came with the dog in tow so I get that.

BUT OMG I cannot have the dog in the house any more. No matter what we do he smells. You walk into the living room and the smell just hits you. He won't stop getting up on the sofas and every now and again he makes this horrible choking noice and gobs a bit 🤢. Vet checked him over and said it comes with age (he's 11).

This evening we have come to blows over it again. He jumped up on the sofa and got mud all over it. Again. I've ended up walking out and driving off to cool down.

It feels like there is just no solution to this.I feel driven out of my own home. When I go back I'll probably sit upstairs because of the smell. I feel like such a bitch because he's so good with the dog. I just cannot stand the smell and dribble.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

What do I do????

@Mamamia7962

Does the dog have regular baths?

I have 2 smallish dogs and hate that "wet dog smell" that you can get. My dogs go to the dog groomers regularly and when it's raining and they get wet they are dried with a hair dryer and dog grooming spray put on them. I also wash their bedding regularly.

There are things that you can do to stop your house smelling.

Dog groomers might not be a bad shout tbh. At the moment he gets bathed at home but perhaps they could help with the smell?

I think it is the damp dog smell. I have bought a carpet cleaner for the house that does carpets and upholstery.

He's just such a big dog in a small house. I'd never ask him to get rid of him. Of course not. It would break his heart and I couldn't live with that. He says the dog has always been there for him so he'll always be there for the dog. It's fair enough and I love him for caring so much. I just find it hard.

It's probably just me that needs to suck it up and deal with it.

YANBU to be upset by the dog smell - few people truly understand the impact of having a dog until they actually live with one and you didn't actively choose to insofar as he came as part of a package with your DP. YABU if you expect him to re-home the dog though. At best, if you really cannot cope with it then DP and his dog need to find a new place.

FWIW, it's not a given that dogs climb up and stay on furniture but it does take patience and training if you want to change that particular habit. My dog is 11 and has never been allowed to do this. On the odd occasion that she has sneakily tried it she has been told off (low voice, calm but firm). I can't stand the smell of dog either & she is definitely getting smellier as she ages. Keeping hair short and brushed regularly with a conditioning spray will help keep whiffs at bay. Ditto a weekly bath/shower. I have wood and tiled floors and hoover daily & mop a few times a week. I also have odour neutralising reed things in the hallway where she sleeps and ventilate downstairs rooms daily. She isn't remotely drool-y, thank goodness so I can't help you with that. I guess that there's not a lot you can do about a dog who regularly drools. You could try those ideas regarding smell and see if it helps with your situation?

Why can't her DP train and clean his own Ddog? As a halfway measure - whichDP should have done feom the start. There is no excuse to let a wet muddy dog into house to gallump everywhere nor let DDog onto your sofa!

Life expectancy 11-14 years.

I don’t imagine you can’t get rid of the smell, there’s loads of amazing products out there that do wonders. Unless it’s something like his anal glands you can just spray him.

Get an outside tub the dog can be washed/brushed in before coming into the house.

I do think it’s so sad though that you’d move in with a guy and for 18 months he’s had to pay out for doggy care and he probably takes him for all the walks so not to upset you. What did you think would happen when his dog moved in? That he would just tie him up outside and wait for him to die?

@Chichimcgee

Life expectancy 11-14 years.

I don’t imagine you can’t get rid of the smell, there’s loads of amazing products out there that do wonders. Unless it’s something like his anal glands you can just spray him.

Get an outside tub the dog can be washed/brushed in before coming into the house.

I do think it’s so sad though that you’d move in with a guy and for 18 months he’s had to pay out for doggy care and he probably takes him for all the walks so not to upset you. What did you think would happen when his dog moved in? That he would just tie him up outside and wait for him to die?

Eh? He has to go to kennels as he's out of the country for 2 weeks at a time. I made it clear from the start that I wouldn't be able to take care of him during these times. I think that's fair tbh xx

Google dog deodoriser.

Unless he’s dried properly after a bath he will smell. Groomers will bath and dry and spray and he’ll smell amazing. The breed shouldn’t need regular baths at all, even if muddy you should only need to brush/rub down with a damp towel which means easier and quicker to dry.

I think you suck it up or you live separately. You would be totally unreasonable to ask your dp to get rid of a dog that he presumably loves.

Tbh if you wanted to push to get rid of a loved pet, I'd assume you can't really love your dp as it would be so awful for him.

Personally I'd be looking at addressing the spe ific difficulties e.g. dog towel at the door for de-mudding the dog, but I think you wouldn't be unreasonable to have an honest conversation about how living together isn't working out for you.

@EdinaMonsoon

YANBU to be upset by the dog smell - few people truly understand the impact of having a dog until they actually live with one and you didn't actively choose to insofar as he came as part of a package with your DP. YABU if you expect him to re-home the dog though. At best, if you really cannot cope with it then DP and his dog need to find a new place.

FWIW, it's not a given that dogs climb up and stay on furniture but it does take patience and training if you want to change that particular habit. My dog is 11 and has never been allowed to do this. On the odd occasion that she has sneakily tried it she has been told off (low voice, calm but firm). I can't stand the smell of dog either & she is definitely getting smellier as she ages. Keeping hair short and brushed regularly with a conditioning spray will help keep whiffs at bay. Ditto a weekly bath/shower. I have wood and tiled floors and hoover daily & mop a few times a week. I also have odour neutralising reed things in the hallway where she sleeps and ventilate downstairs rooms daily. She isn't remotely drool-y, thank goodness so I can't help you with that. I guess that there's not a lot you can do about a dog who regularly drools. You could try those ideas regarding smell and see if it helps with your situation?

Thank you. Yes I will try these. I have bought air freshener and scented candles. I've bought a carpet cleaner and I regularly hoover etc. My partner also tries different things to try and help as he can see I get frustrated.

I'll have a look online to see if I can get something more to help x

You can't expect him to give up an 11 year dog, depending on the breed they might not have long left. It's not fair on him or the dog.

Apologies, doggy care made me think it was a few hours a day. Obviously it’s not fair for you to be on your own with the dog 2 weeks at a time

@LondonQueen

You can't expect him to give up an 11 year dog, depending on the breed they might not have long left. It's not fair on him or the dog.

I know your right. I think I'm just feeling so frustrated this eve and perhaps tired. I'll take on board these suggestions xx

@Chichimcgee

Apologies, doggy care made me think it was a few hours a day. Obviously it’s not fair for you to be on your own with the dog 2 weeks at a time

My fault. I didn't explain that v well and apologies if I snapped at you xx

Ask your partner to hose/bathe him then dry him properly. Mine loves a blow dry! He is confined to the kitchen til he’s bone dry. Flying onto the sofa with muddy paws is just poor training. Can you insist he trains him to stay off the furniture? Mine wouldn’t dream of it.

All dogs smell to a degree but it's not clear whether your partners dogs is especially smelly or you're unaccustomed to the smell. Weimaraners generally have a short coat so should be easier to keep smelling reasonably fresh. The link below contains more info which may be useful.

tobalie.com/en/magazine/controversial/why-your-dog-stinks

I'm really surprised that he smells so badly. He's not a particularly hairy or smelly breed.

Definitely try the groomers - as long as he can tolerate it at his age as it sounds like it will be a new experience.

How often is his bed/blanket washed? I do ours every few days and air the rooms really well. I also use a steam diffuser which I leave on for a couple of hours overnight. Also, washable throws on the sofas that can be put in the washing machine every few days too.

Also, on a medical front - has your partner:

1. checked the dog's ears as they can get extremely smelly if bacteria takes over
2. checked his teeth and gums for any infection
3. checked his anal glands as these can really smell if they aren't emptying properly when he does a poo outside. They can just release at random times which is the smell of evil itself.

And, lastly, have you spent some proper time with this dog by yourself? My doggy stinks but I adore her and her whiff because of the amazing bond we have. Fact: Dogs smell (but they don't have to smell that bad all the time).

1. Throws for your sofa.
2. Towels are your friend. Get partner to buy a stack of dog towels ( charity shops sell loads) Dog lies on a towel.
3. Make sure the dog always has water available ( I’m sure you do) as drinking plenty can reduce smell.
4. Specialist spray removes pet smells, available at pet shops ( and Amazon) which can be sprayed on furniture , floors, carpets, rugs. If you have carpet I bet 95% of the smell is in that. ( dogs and carpets don’t go together, I’ve not had carpets for 30+ years)
5. Your partner should bath the dog regularly ( difficult outside in cold weather though)
6. White vinegar — tell DP to buy 5 litres of white vinegar and add a small cupful to rinse when he washes sofa throws and dog towels.
7. Tell DP to hire a shampooer and clean the carpets.

If you make him pick, he won't choose you.

There are things you can both do to help with the smell if that's what you're struggling with, though.

Daily (or twice daily) vacuuming of all the carpets.
Use carpet shampoo/cleaner on carpets and soft furnishings regularly.
Cover all sofas and chairs in lots of cheap throws and wash them once or twice a week.
Open windows daily to get fresh air into the house.
Scented candles (pet friendly ones) burning when you're home.

Over-washing the dog can make it worse but I would make sure he gets a good bath at least once a month with proper shampoo, and your DP needs to invest in a towelling robe (like a doggy dressing gown) to put on the dog after walks so he dries in that and not on your furniture.

If I was your partner and I was told to chose I would pick the dog in a second. You really want him to get rid of the dog that is 11 years old?? I agree that not everyone is a dog person but that is so cruel!

Just to add to my earlier post OP, if you take him to the dog groomers they will clean his ears as well, which can also smell.

Also, can you get hard floor downstairs as that makes it so much easier to keep things clean.

www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/byotrol-deodorising-spray-for-dogs-250ml

Something like this should help the smell.

I have a dog who stinks. She hates baths and will roll in anything from horse manure to dead rabbits as soon as she can, her ears stink to high heaven and her breath stinks. I do sympathise. I brush her teeth, use special ear drops and doggy deodoriser. She goes to the groomers every month to get rid of any dead hair and to have a proper scrub. Before we go in the house she’s rubbed with a towel to clean off any dirt/water and sprayed.
If I bath the other 2 long coated dogs it stinks of wet dog and the only way to avoid that is to not bath or dry properly

@Cherrysoup

Ask your partner to hose/bathe him then dry him properly. Mine loves a blow dry! He is confined to the kitchen til he’s bone dry. Flying onto the sofa with muddy paws is just poor training. Can you insist he trains him to stay off the furniture? Mine wouldn’t dream of it.

He is so well trained. This is what's so frustrating. He listens to everything EXCEPT not to get on the sofa. He has a lovely bed in the living room. Sleeps in it all day and would never get on the sofa when we are downstairs. BUT when I come down in the mornings he's curled up on there like a baby. Lol. I've even said about just covering one sofa with a blanket and letting him go there but my partner says not to as it sends mixed signals xx

OP has made it quite clear that she wouldn’t want him to give up the dog.

I second a groomer. But I would take advice on how often to bathe the dog - they shouldn’t really have that done too often.

Sometimes I hate Mumsnet because people are mean and other times, times like this , it's a brilliant place to get a reality check.

I am going to stop pouting in the bedroom now and go downstairs to say sorry for my strop and to suggest a regular dog grooming ritual.

Thank you xx

I have a lab. He gets a regular groom, I wash his feet after walks (used to shower him if he was muddy) regularly wash his bedding. Spray him with puppy spray scent from pets at home. We have wooden flooring with rugs which I also wash and vacuum.
Your house should not smell.