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AIBU?

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Original poster

It's me or the dog.....!

116 replies

justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 19:48

Ok so this whole issue is really REALLY getting me down.

I live in a small (2 bed) cottage. No garden but small courtyard out front and back. Around 1.5 years ago my partner moved in with me. He's amazing, I love him to bits but he brought with his his v large dog. Now I KNOW I signed up for it. Knew he came with the dog in tow so I get that.

BUT OMG I cannot have the dog in the house any more. No matter what we do he smells. You walk into the living room and the smell just hits you. He won't stop getting up on the sofas and every now and again he makes this horrible choking noice and gobs a bit 🤢. Vet checked him over and said it comes with age (he's 11).

This evening we have come to blows over it again. He jumped up on the sofa and got mud all over it. Again. I've ended up walking out and driving off to cool down.

It feels like there is just no solution to this.I feel driven out of my own home. When I go back I'll probably sit upstairs because of the smell. I feel like such a bitch because he's so good with the dog. I just cannot stand the smell and dribble.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

What do I do????

OP posts:
Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 07/02/2022 20:40

He as in your DPs dog, obvs.

AutomaticMoon · 07/02/2022 20:42

Just wanted to let everyone know, apparently some dog dewormer has anti-cancer properties, there’s a vet on youtube talking about it.

AutomaticMoon · 07/02/2022 20:43

And a leather sofa is much better for dog owners for ease of cleaning. There’s lots of cover things/protectors you can use otherwise.

Singlebutmarried · 07/02/2022 20:45

Mine is part Weimaraner and she can be a bit whiffy. So we send her for a shampoo and set every six weeks or so. She enjoys it.

She whiffs less now she’s on raw food (kibble made the dog smell horrendous, also the arse emissions were awful)

The other dog does not smell, luckily as she hates water.

Original poster
justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 20:46

@Wheresmywoolyjumpers

Clearly what your DP is trying is not working so it is time to do something different. Perhaps a dog behaviouralist could help with the sofa thing? As for his age, my step dad has a 13 year old dog who visits me daily. I have a brand new sofa. He is allowed to get on the bit with the throw on it, and not the rest. He is learning, because it is consistent. If he gets on the sofa at night you need a throw or something, or to be in a different room.

Oh another note, I wonder if, now you have focussed on the smell, you find yourself obsessing about it? I get like this when someone is eating noisily and it is all I can think about? If that is the case, you may want to do some attention focus exercises too.

You know I think what you say about obsessing about the smell might be right. Other people (my daughter) says they can't smell anything or it isn't as bad as I make out. I also struggle with the people eating sound. I didn't think of it in this way but I really think you might have a point so thank you xx
OP posts:
Singlebutmarried · 07/02/2022 20:46

Oh and ex dog went super stinky in his old age. Poor sod had cancer (massive growth down the length of a leg that seemed to appear overnight). He was 19 (and a terrier beast and they last forever)

godmum56 · 07/02/2022 20:50

you are never going to be compatible so I would end it now.

patchysmum · 07/02/2022 20:52

All dogs have a "dog" smell, you can get doggy perfume and dentasticks if they have bad breath but I think the problem is you are not a dog person. Do you realise when this one passes your partner will probably want another?

Longcovid21 · 07/02/2022 20:55

Can you put a washable throw on your sofa?

2bazookas · 07/02/2022 21:05

when yopu say smell. do you mean farts and doggy breath, or just dirty ole sweaty dog who hasn't had a swim all winter? ?

Dirty dog can be improved by a trip to the local dog bathing busines, BF's expense.
Doggy breath may be due to bad teeth; needs a vet check.
Farts...may be related to diet. You could also ask the vet to recommend a less farty diet. At age 11, I recommend buying a dog diet made specifically for older dogs.

BF needs to invest in a number of washable throws for the sofa.

ClaraTheCelebrityPachyderm · 07/02/2022 21:08

Is it the dog's body or the dog's breath that stinks OP? I have an old dog - 13.5 years- and her breath was starting to make me feel physically sick, particularly in the car. I'm currently on a mission to deal with this. Daily brushing, flossing with a rope toy, carrot after dinner and organic apple cider (with the mother) or anti plaque solution in her drinking water. It's working a treat and her breath no longer stinks.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 07/02/2022 21:12

@justustwoandmoo - you are welcome! If you look at info on anxiety I think it says if your anxiety is higher you become more sensitive to smells. So there may be some info out there you could use to switch your focus. Good luck.

Original poster
justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 21:33

@godmum56

you are never going to be compatible so I would end it now.
Lol. Always one! 😆
OP posts:
Original poster
justustwoandmoo · 07/02/2022 21:35

@patchysmum

All dogs have a "dog" smell, you can get doggy perfume and dentasticks if they have bad breath but I think the problem is you are not a dog person. Do you realise when this one passes your partner will probably want another?
No we have chatted about that and he doesn't. Mainly because he works away a lot and both of us have plans to travel more together so it wouldn't be fair xx
OP posts:
Bluesandwhites · 07/02/2022 21:42

OP, I hear you ! I can not understand why people have a dog in their house, they STINK! Dogs run around outside and bring all sorts of pathogens inside with them, including faeces from other dogs on their paws. Their owners allow them to sit on the chairs and settees (yes I know it's a free country !) and allow their dogs to lick their faces, after the dog has sniffed around other dogs' rear ends.
The place for dogs is outside. Having said this, if i was stuck in the Highlands and freezing cold, I would be glad to see a rescue dog. Dogs have their place in the world and their usefulness, eg guide dogs, sniffer dogs, hearing dogs for the deaf, but their place is an outside compound, with regular walks.

AgathaX · 07/02/2022 21:58

Have you tried changing his diet to see if that helps? Also, could he sleep anywhere else, maybe in the kitchen or a hallway? Somewhere with no soft furnishings.

I agree with the groomer suggestions, and maybe buy some of their lovely smelly shampoo and bath him in that between grooms to keep him smelling sweeter. Does his bed need replacing? Even when washed regularly, they pick up smell in the inners so need replacing regularly otherwise the smell just transfers straight back onto a clean, bathed dog.

Is it his coat or slobber that smell? Maybe get the vet to check his teeth, or again, a change of diet might help.

statetrooperstacey · 07/02/2022 22:08

I’d he is bathed regularly he shouldn’t smell, fig groomers definitely do a better job than baths at home. Sometimes a wet clean dog smells worse than a dry dirty one !! Groomers will dry and deodorise , they smell lovely m. Make sure you (your dp!) are washing all the soft furnishing s he comes into contact with including wiping out his plastic bed if he has one. I’d he has suddenly started smelling worse it might be worth vet check . If they have kidney problems they will literally breathe out toxins and they stink. Also anal glands and dental problems should be ruled out .
Realistically he can’t rehome an 11 year old dog , it’s just not an option . He probably won’t last much longer tbf, hang on in there op.

Sighmon · 07/02/2022 22:19

My beloved Weimaraner is now 15 and a half! She only gets a bath about once a year as she hates it but luckily her short hair makes her low maintenance and very easy to keep clean. I’m as sure as I can be that she doesn’t smell so definitely worth checking with your vet in case of underlying issues.

Weimaraners are clingy dogs and love to snuggle in next to you so you may find it hard to stop him sitting on the sofa now that he has been used to it for years. Throws may be the only answer to that particular problem. Good luck!

silverley · 07/02/2022 22:24

Definitely get the dog a professional groom - I thought I was doing a decent job at home on my dog, giving her baths and combing her, but dear god the difference once I started getting her professionally groomed! She smells of Fresh Cotton or Strawberry for at least a week afterwards and hardly any hair coming off her. If the dog might not be able to cope going to a groomers, you could try one of the mobile ones who come to the house and groom in a van - might be less stressful.

Also second the recommendation of blankets, on sofas and in dog bed. So much easier to wash and rotate a few blankets than constantly cleaning the sofa.

WonderfulYou · 07/02/2022 22:39

Do you have to live together?

Many couples have a great relationship and don’t live together.

I think if you’re not a dog person it must be so difficult having a large dog at your house all of the time so I would go back to living separately.

Prescottdanni123 · 07/02/2022 22:46

if my partner gave me this ultimatum, I'd pick the dog. And I'm not saying that to be mean. If you really want to be with this man, then I think you need to find a way of accepting the dog, because if he is as good a dog owner as you say he is, he won't turn his back on a beloved pet just because his partner doesn't like the smell.

pumpkinpie01 · 07/02/2022 22:53

I would get a couple of throws so you always have a clean one to put on , wipe the dogs paws with a nice smelling cloth/baby wipes as soon as they get back from a walk . Wilkos sell dry dog shampoo it smells like baby powder 😀

Ilikeanimalsmorethanpeople · 07/02/2022 23:07

Hi OP this may or may not help as I'm a cat person Grin however my cat is 18 and smells and it's because of his teeth and bad breath and then he cleans himself so it's a cycle unfortunately, we have pet Wipes and dry shampoo for him just to freshen him up a bit as and when!

Catcrazy83 · 07/02/2022 23:12

This is what you need

www.ashleigh-burwood.co.uk/products/fragrance-lamps/all-fragrance-lamps

They get rid of wet dog smell even in caravan, remove fried food smell, cigarettes and windowlean. I can’t even explain how smell sensitive I am. I can smell if some has been inside a chip shop and not washed their hair.

Also don’t wash the dog too often, that’s actually really bad for their skin and can make them even smellier as their skin goes into overdrive producing more oils.

powershowerforanhour · 07/02/2022 23:13

"I have bought air freshener and scented candles"

Be careful with all this stuff. If the dog is at all allergic to it, the skin of its ear canals, feet and armpits will flare up a little, the scant number of yeasts that naturally live there will flourish, the dog will smell of yeasty stinky dog and you'll spray more stuff around to mask it...and so the cycle goes. Does the Febreze ad still have a Boxer in it? Made me want to throw a bottle of Malaseb at the telly.

Lift the dog's ear flaps and have a good sniff down the ear hole. Mmm the smell of Malassezia in the morning...