Anyone else have an aversion to corporate bollock speak?

[LindaLaHugh]

I say aversion - deep hatred would be more accurate. It gives me The Rage
You know the type of thing " deep dive" " I'll take that away to action it" " even " going forward" makes me a bit stabby

I once worked somewhere where the managing director was working his way through a part time MBA. We could tell where he'd got to in the syllabus by whichever stupid initiative he came up with; the amount of money he wasted on them was frightening, and in fact the business in question no longer exists. Which has to make you wonder seriously about the value of MBAs.

He absolutely loved management speak, and we used to play meeting bingo to get ourselves through management meetings. Most of the stuff on this thread came up, but we had to say that "across the piece" didn't count towards our bingo cards because it was absolutely inevitable that he would use it at least 6 times in any given meeting.

Hate this stuff, just people trying to use big words to substantiate their inflated salary. I do use 'thanks for reaching out' in a passive aggressive way though .

@DePfeffoff

Using "reach out" instead of "talk to" should be a criminal offence.

DePfeffoff for PM

@Violetparis

'Bringing your whole self to work' is the latest cringe at my work.

I can't stop laughing at this

@DePfeffoff

Using "reach out" instead of "talk to" should be a criminal offence.

I agree!

@Camdenish

I had to go offline today when someone on a Teams meeting invited us to “speak to”

That started some years ago where I work. I still don't understand it.

'It speaks to the risk...' eh?

I think if anyone was foolish enough to bring their whole self in to work on a regular basis, they might find their whole self out.

In the course of one meeting I ticked off:
Low hanging fruit
Craft (more than once)
Straw man
Direction of travel
Tee up
Write a script (not in media/marketing)

Current pet peeve that didn't occur today is "battle rythmn" for the timing of a series of meetings.
Used to be in an organisation where people regularly said "suck it and see" . Also mis-used "starter for 10" regularly.

Part of me quite likes having different words for work! It's like putting on a uniform would be - makes a separation between work and personal life. I pretend to myself that I work in a sitcom - Alan Partridge/the Office/Swiss Tony kinda thing - and then my personal life is normality....

I don’t hate “reach out” because I take it to mean it doesn’t matter how you go about it - talk to in person, email, call, smoke signals, whatever.

But I personally use “communicate with” instead.

Ooh we have battle rhythms too, and drum beats. We play with a straight bat but sometimes kick things into the long grass.

I feel I'm required to lean in on this initiative OP, but unfortunately I just don't have the bandwidth currently.

This conversation seems above my pay grade.

A good piece of work, robust and transparent, lots of thinking outside the box and blue sky thinking too. Obviously a team player. (Wheel on the sick bag)

Is Bullshit Bingo still going strong?

My boss used to constantly say in team meetings that she would "have that dialogue with (whatever department)" instead of just talk to them 🙄

I am guilty of some of this corporate bollock speak and I don’t know how to change! It’s how people where I work talk. No one even thinks twice about it. How do I stop?!

I had to leave when the company I had worked for for 10 years got bought out by the corporate speak bollocks gang. We were a construction company and one day lots of suited men in pointy shoes descended on us en masse and starting talking all this shite. I lasted 8 months after the buy out until my maternity leave started then didn't go back.

@Meatbadger

I am guilty of some of this corporate bollock speak and I don’t know how to change! It’s how people where I work talk. No one even thinks twice about it. How do I stop?!

Think about what the words really mean before you say them.

I have the same concern and think that is our best solution.

@Meatbadger

I am guilty of some of this corporate bollock speak and I don’t know how to change! It’s how people where I work talk. No one even thinks twice about it. How do I stop?!

Its ok to talk bollocks- it's just how some work cultures are! My advice is don't stress over it. I deal with so many different kinds of organisations and I honestly don't judge the bullshit corporate ones, they're just as full of nice people as the down to earth type of businesses. People are the same whether they say reach out or email.

@Violetparis

'Bringing your whole self to work' is the latest cringe at my work.

I would be terribly tempted to start singing the Hokey Cokey song!

OP, l hear you. I can run with that. 😂😂😂

The hip new NHS phrase is the ‘good ideas carousel’

Yes! Our firm (a corporate law firm) has been going down this route for years. Deep Dive is the new phrase that management seem to be bandying about.

And the support staff have just been told that we've got to 'think about and promote our brand so they can see what we bring to the table going forward '. We're PAs FFS - it's enough just to get our daily work done, what does 'our brand' even mean?

Thank God I'm retiring this year.......