Oh My God! Why am I like this!!!!

[FrustratedProcrastinator]

I have a v.important piece of work that I need to have finished by 5pm today. It will take 2-3 hours if I rush it. I can do it no problem so why haven't I done it?

I intended to do it over the weekend (after telling myself for two weeks to get on and do it) when I had plenty of time but found other stuff to do so I didn't. I realised I'd fucked badly up so rang in sick to work today so I could do it . Won't get paid. Horrendous I know and a one off that will never be repeated!

I've spent most of today on here, doing housework which can wait, eating crisps and drinking coffee.

I am FURIOUS at myself . I do this time and time again and I swore I wouldn't do it this time.

Even if I do it now, which I have to, it will be rushed and a lower standard than it could have been.

I never used to be like this. I used to be organised and totally on the ball!

Tell me I am completely UR.

So, did you get it done?! I spent the afternoon googling if I have ADHD after reading this!

@FrustratedProcrastinator

I’m a lost cause! Just read that gratification monkey blog, read up on ADHD and spent 15 minutes googling how to write an academic poster in the shortest possible time . I know the content, I just can’t put it in my own words!

It’s a Uni assignment. I started the course before being offered a part time job which I applied for before starting Uni as I didn’t think I’d get a decent job after being a SAHM for many years. Too good an opportunity to turn down and I love it. As well having to submit a complicated Tribunal appeal for son’s SEN (have to submit in 10 days) as well as running a house with 4 DC with a —useless— DH who works very long hours so doesn’t think he has to do much other than load the dishwasher occasionally.

Excuses. excuses but I don’t want to give it up!

Starting NOW (well after one more cigarette in the garden)!

I think it's the second paragraph here that tells you where the problem is @FrustratedProcrastinator- you're spinning too many plates so don't have the mental space to focus.

Why I've just quit one of my two jobs, as while my husband is on top of the housework, I'm meeting myself coming back and about to fail my RHS exams (like the one that starts in 20 minutes yet i'm here.....)

@Tessabelle74

All those saying ADHD clearly haven't read the full OP and it shows! You don't develop ADHD in adulthood so as she's not always been a procrastinator, it's clearly not that!

You clearly haven't read the whole thread - no one's said that.

@Tessabelle74 qctually ADHD can frequently manifest later in life, especially in women! It comes out when people have jobs, kids and more responsibilities they struggle to cope and changing hormones play a huge role in women’s presentation. I had no idea I had ADHD until I was 38 but the signs were there all along. They just got worse and I stopped coping. Women are also frequently inattentive or combined type without the obvious hyperactivity which many assume represents ADHD. I have it and I am the most non-hyperactive person ever!

Thanks @ZZTopGuitarSolo. Will read up.

I'm working on a big project and have started to use the pomodoro technique (mentioned upthread) and it's blown my mind! My brain can now cope. It's astonishing. My productivity has gone through the roof. No more overwhelm.

It doesnt "come out" you are born like it. It just becomes more obvious.

I think @Phrenologistsfinger means “becomes more apparent”. I totally agree that increased responsibility and hormonal changes can affect it. I can thoroughly recommend ADHD in combination with the menopause - what fun! Probably easier if you know you have ADHD when it happens (I didn’t).

It’s of course a diagnostic criteria that ADHD has to be present in childhood. I’m pushing 55 so no one was diagnosing ADHD when I was a child; I was labelled as lazy and spent much of my time in and out of the psyche Ed’s office and living in a state of perpetual chaos and with impulsiveness. I don’t know about others but I learned to build my life around a problem I didn’t know I had. I just knew I was a lazy good for nothing self sabotager and most of the people around me were mystified by my inability to organise my life, curtail impulsiveness, manage my insomnia etc. but I still muddled through. I muddled through by living on my own with no real responsibility to others and lowering my expectations of what I could achieve.

Then I got married which started to highlight to me how poor I was at being a grown up, but the wheels really came off when I had children. I couldn’t handle the basic domestics yet I could gain an MSc, I confused myself. I really didn’t want my children to be like me (whatever that was) so I set about trying to give them “the right upbringing”. For my DS that worked but my DD was a total chip off the old block despite my best efforts. It was only observing her that got me thinking that this wasn’t a character flaw but something very specific. She really wanted to do well yet just couldn’t produce the necessary to succeed at school, or at least realise her potential. It was very familiar. Her teachers said that she was bright but lazy. I started to read about ADHD and it was like a light going on. My DD’s school dismissed ADHD on the basis she wasn’t an 8 year old boy bouncing off the walls but I pursued it.

My DD was diagnosed and shortly after so was I. It’s been so helpful. It’s only now that I can see it was always there and my only regret is that my DD was 16 before she got her diagnosis and I was 52.

Did you get it finished @FrustratedProcrastinator?

What @YouokHun said, obviously, lawd. Of course we are born with it, it’s often genetic. In my case it is so very clearly inherited from my mother!

@DoctorMarten

Thanks *@ZZTopGuitarSolo*. Will read up.

I'm working on a big project and have started to use the pomodoro technique (mentioned upthread) and it's blown my mind! My brain can now cope. It's astonishing. My productivity has gone through the roof. No more overwhelm.

That's great! I love it when these conversations on here help people.

How did it all go @FrustratedProcrastinator? Hope you managed to get it all finished and sorted :)