Oh My God! Why am I like this!!!!

[FrustratedProcrastinator]

I have a v.important piece of work that I need to have finished by 5pm today. It will take 2-3 hours if I rush it. I can do it no problem so why haven't I done it?

I intended to do it over the weekend (after telling myself for two weeks to get on and do it) when I had plenty of time but found other stuff to do so I didn't. I realised I'd fucked badly up so rang in sick to work today so I could do it . Won't get paid. Horrendous I know and a one off that will never be repeated!

I've spent most of today on here, doing housework which can wait, eating crisps and drinking coffee.

I am FURIOUS at myself . I do this time and time again and I swore I wouldn't do it this time.

Even if I do it now, which I have to, it will be rushed and a lower standard than it could have been.

I never used to be like this. I used to be organised and totally on the ball!

Tell me I am completely UR.

[quote DoctorMarten]@ZZTopGuitarSolo... Oh my goodness. This is basically me (I couldn't quote you, as it wouldn't let me)... I can hyper focus or do lots of bits of 700 things, plus investigate rabbit holes, depending on how I feel!

How do I know whether or not I have ADHD?[/quote]
You might have ADHD, or you might just be someone who is good at hyper-focusing and likes to get distracted :-)

ADDitude magazine is a good resource. Reading their articles about what life can be like for women with ADHD can help you think about whether it's worth getting an assessment.

Ideally you'd get an assessment by a psychologist or psychiatrist - in my case it was a neuropsychologist who's been doing this for about 25 years.

I only got assessed because I have two children with ADHD, and one of them is treated by a psychiatrist who suggested I get assessed after I sat in on one of their appointments. Also because my husband was convinced I have ADHD, and I had some other co-morbid conditions.

I tested very strongly as having both hyperactive and inattentive ADHD. Once I started reading books about typical symptoms of women with ADHD, and I started implementing some of the strategies, I found them very helpful. It also explained a lot of the struggles I've had throughout my life.

Of course we shouldn’t pathologise every human trait but the discussion can be quite helpful if someone comes to it having spent years being told they’re a useless fecker and wondering why they constantly self sabotage etc. No harm in the conversation

But the OP says that she never used to be like this.

I leave things til the last minute because I do it better when I’m super focussed. If I do it early, I spend more time tinkering with it.

But, I never miss a deadline.

I commented early on in this thread that my procrastination was linked to a diagnosis of ADHD but that diagnosis was due to a cluster of criteria not just one behaviour. I didn’t get my diagnosis until I was 52 largely because taken individually my symptoms look like the typical things all of us do. Of course we shouldn’t pathologise every human trait but the discussion can be quite helpful if someone comes to it having spent years being told they’re a useless fecker and wondering why they constantly self sabotage etc. No harm in the conversation.

Oh gosh yes, nodding along to everything you're saying here.

I also didn't get a diagnosis till 52. I just thought I was a useless fecker until then. Now I have the diagnosis, so much makes sense, and I feel so much more able to work out how to deal with this stuff.

But mostly I no longer hate myself like I have done for the last 40 or so years.

I have no idea if the OP or anyone else on here actually has ADHD - it's the job of a medical professional to diagnose them. But these conversations can be very valuable.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

Of course we shouldn’t pathologise every human trait but the discussion can be quite helpful if someone comes to it having spent years being told they’re a useless fecker and wondering why they constantly self sabotage etc. No harm in the conversation

But the OP says that she never used to be like this.

Indeed - there are probably other things going on in her situation that are causing it.

But there are lots of other people in this conversation who might be finding it useful.

Interesting what someone said up thread about how their brain has actually been working away in the background. I think this is true for me. Even with something simple like packing for holiday, I appear to be doing absolutely nothing until the very last minute, but actually I have mentally organised and planned exactly what is needed - then the actual job is very quick and easy.

I'm like this too. I don't have ADHD - I know that leaving things until the last minute is a trait of ADHD, but plenty of people who don't have ADHD are terrible procrastinators too.

Me too.

I once cleaned the car rather than doing the ironing (for B&B so did have to be done).

@youokhun

ADHD doesn't just impact work. It impacts development and social and emotional functioning. People with ADHD struggle with life in general, with relationships, with friendships, etc. The cognitive issues that lead to difficulties at work also lead to difficulties in all areas of life as it is the same brain is functioning across settings. ADHD isn't a school or work issue - it is about cognitive inhibition and executive functioning skills. Millions of people are like OP who leave things to the last minute and who work better under pressure and who are more focused on tasks they enjoy. ADHD is about the underlying cognitive processes - not the surface level tasks. There is nothing in OPs post to indicate they have ADHD despite the majority of the posts in this thread focusing on that.

Look up the Centre for Clinical Interventions 'Put off Procrastinating' self help workbook. Its really helpful.

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Procrastination

[quote Midlifemusings]@youokhun

ADHD doesn't just impact work. It impacts development and social and emotional functioning. People with ADHD struggle with life in general, with relationships, with friendships, etc. The cognitive issues that lead to difficulties at work also lead to difficulties in all areas of life as it is the same brain is functioning across settings. ADHD isn't a school or work issue - it is about cognitive inhibition and executive functioning skills. Millions of people are like OP who leave things to the last minute and who work better under pressure and who are more focused on tasks they enjoy. ADHD is about the underlying cognitive processes - not the surface level tasks. There is nothing in OPs post to indicate they have ADHD despite the majority of the posts in this thread focusing on that.[/quote]
Yes I know what ADHD is. It isn’t all about cognitions any more than it is all about behaviour. The conversation started with the OP’s frustration (in the work domain) and others came along to say they did similar. I haven’t noticed anyone saying that everyone has ADHD just that it resonates with those of us who do.

Incidentally for those pondering whether they might have ADHD, the traits that lead to diagnosis must have been evident before the age of 12. Although ADHD may not be diagnosed until adulthood it is not something that develops later in life.

I'm like this and it annoys me so much! I had a month over xmas to do uni work and i left two pieces til the last day! I kept thinking 'i'll do it tomorrow', then would start to feel tired so think 'i'll just do it the next day' and kept putting it off.
I'm also like this with going places, I don't want to be early so I set off exactly on time and start to get an internal panic when I get stuck in traffic, I'm getting better at this part though and setting off 15 mins before I usually would.

I'm like this too but apparently don't have ADHD. I can procrastinate like a good'un though.
My worst is when I start doing the job as soon as I'm given it, do some, then think I've done way more than I actually have so I can finish it "later" - which becomes "the night/day before", at which point I realise I've only done 10-20% of it, rather than "most of it", which is what my brain had decided. :(

Currently I'm procrastinating about buying plane tickets. I need to do it.

I am 58. I was diagnosed with ADHD 14 years ago. THIS is one of my most annoying self sabotage habits. I did poorly at school. Achieved much less academically than my less bright peers. (Not a brag - just a fact if IQ is a measure. Personally 'organisation' would of been a much more useful and practical skill)..

Anyway. - because I always regret not achieving a degree, I decided to do one through the OU. I am three years in. I do not find the work difficult at all. I have plenty of time between assignments to do a good job. Do I do that ? No . Of course not. I wind myself into a frenzy and do a much less better job than I can do by knocking it out 3 hours before it's due.
I am achieving a solid 2:1 but on the very occasional time I have prepared properly - I get a first. Why why why ? It's a ridiculous character flaw.

I was prescribed atomoxetine when initially diagnosed but it made me too twitchy.

Any other effective ideas to help OP , me and others like us. I saw one recommend a TED talk on procrastination. Does anyone know who gave it ?

The youtube channel is called "how to adhd" , its great to learn strategies to help, its helped me and my husband.

My hyper foucses are usally very mundane annoying things! A mumsnet thread or some tweet on twitter! I wish they were my super power! Im very jelous of the adhder whos hyper foucs is causing them to have well paid jobs!

All those saying ADHD clearly haven't read the full OP and it shows! You don't develop ADHD in adulthood so as she's not always been a procrastinator, it's clearly not that!

Strangely invested in whether OP got her work done!

@Tessabelle74

All those saying ADHD clearly haven't read the full OP and it shows! You don't develop ADHD in adulthood so as she's not always been a procrastinator, it's clearly not that!

No one was saying the OP has ADHD @Tessabelle74. Posters were identifying with procrastination, some with and some without ADHD.

@MsChatterbox

Strangely invested in whether OP got her work done!

She know she needs to come back and tell us she's just been putting it off

Another one who is the same (at times) here 🙋‍♀️. I see it as a bit of a stubborn control thing... I don't want to do the boring /hard task and, even though I know I have to do it (and, eventually, will) I stubbornly do a kind of 'fingers in ears /la la la la I can't hear you' thing to the sensible, panicking, part of me that is telling me I've got to JUST FUCKING DO IT. I know it's self sabotage and I know it's ridiculous but I still do it. I guess because I know I WILL get it done, because I always do, I'm not motivated enough to change it.

🤣🤣

How did it go, OP? Did you get it done?

It took a bit of unpicking for me to recognise the childhood version of my adhd. I was a top student in school, never disruptive or in trouble. I struggled in college and the “real world” because of what I had been brought up to view as my poor character and moral failings.

When I went back over my childhood, I realised I coped by day dreaming while keeping track of the classroom, doodled on my books, read under the table, and had a lot of micro fidgeting going on (morse code toes anyone?). I was masking so well I convinced myself too.

For some the structures of school exacerbate their adhd but for many women it’s the opposite. It’s when the structures disappear that the executive functioning deficits get the better of us.

If you find out let me know...why do you think im on here instead of working!