Oh My God! Why am I like this!!!!

[FrustratedProcrastinator]

I have a v.important piece of work that I need to have finished by 5pm today. It will take 2-3 hours if I rush it. I can do it no problem so why haven't I done it?

I intended to do it over the weekend (after telling myself for two weeks to get on and do it) when I had plenty of time but found other stuff to do so I didn't. I realised I'd fucked badly up so rang in sick to work today so I could do it . Won't get paid. Horrendous I know and a one off that will never be repeated!

I've spent most of today on here, doing housework which can wait, eating crisps and drinking coffee.

I am FURIOUS at myself . I do this time and time again and I swore I wouldn't do it this time.

Even if I do it now, which I have to, it will be rushed and a lower standard than it could have been.

I never used to be like this. I used to be organised and totally on the ball!

Tell me I am completely UR.

Many people procrastinate for a wide variety of reasons - procrastination doesn't mean you have ADHD.

Methamphetemines saved me!

And the idea that only people with ADHD work in a more focused manner if it is something they enjoy is bonkers. Everyone finds it easier to work and to stay engaged when they are doing something they like. Everyone has drudgery that is harder to make yourself do.

ADHD is real - but the pathologizing of completely normal behaviour is a bit ridiculous in this thread.

I have ADHD and this is one of my biggest struggles! My 2000 word essays get done the day before deadline usually 😭 Even with my medication at the highest dose, I still find it difficult and I'm 33! My tutor helped me with a schedule which NEEDS to be on display somewhere at all times. Even just pencilling in half an hour and having a visual of 'this is designated work time' can help.

OMG, this is me too! Watch this. It's brilliant (and frightening apt); www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator?language=en

If you can bear the horror, I'll let you in on my current nightmare. Years ago I agreed to write a chapter for a book, because it sounded like an interesting project. Delivery wasn't expected for years. So I did nothing Then I got furloughed from my job, and decided that was an ideal time to write this chapter. I thought about some ideas, but didn't write any of them down. Instead, I had a lovely relaxing time.

Fast foreward to today. I'm back in my busy job and have 2 seriously unwell children. My chapter is due NEXT WEEK. And I feel so stupid that I can even admit to my husband that I need some time to get this done.

I ALWAYS leave things until right up until the deadline...I don't seem to be able to motivate myself until blind panic sets in. I'm a bit like this in my job too (though I'm attempting to manage it a better). I suspect that I've got a touch of ADHD too.

And if you really want a laugh...a few years ago I decided to attend a time management course. I decided to invite a friend along too, and when i contacted her about I realised that I'd got the date wrong in my mind, and had already missed the course!

Haven’t read the thread (can you already tell I have adhd?) but over the last few months I’ve realised that procrastinating is more than just not doing the thing - partly it’s generating a head of steam to power through. My energy output isn’t even.

But also by the time I start I often realise that part of my brain has been busily working on this for the entire time.

I do much better work when it’s had time to percolate. I’m still figuring out how to function better in the world but I’m not going to apologise for not being instant coffee so to speak.

Hope you got it done!

OP, there’s a very funny Ted Talk on procrastination by Tim Urban, it really made me laugh.
I’m also the same, like lots of posters on here. I don’t work anymore but can really relate to what you’re saying.
The realisation of what I’m really like has hit me in the last couple of years and I really try but it feels like I’m swimming against the tide most of the time. For me, if I think I’m not doing something ‘perfectly’ there’s no point doing it!

Try Pomodoro timer. I find it really helpful. It cuts it into manageable chunks and helps your motivation as a break is never far away.

pomofocus.io/

Also, therapy. Work out why you are self sabotaging like this.

@SoSo99 cross posted with the Ted Talk recommendation!

Oh no...this is so me!...Placemarking.

I could recommend lots of books on procrastination and organisation, I’m about half way through at least 6 of them!

No idea if this is relevant of course, but are you peri menopausal? The hormone changes can cause all sorts of things, including becoming more forgetful or depression etc. If you didn't used to be like this, look at this or depression in general

@Pumpfive

I've been like this my entire life. Over the last year I've realised I have ADHD. (I haven't been officially diagnosed but have done tonnes of research and I've definitely got it) When I worked it out, everything clicked. I couldn't believe how much better about myself I felt! I still procrastinate and leave things to the last minute and it's still a chore to keep on top of everything BUT I'm kinder to myself. There's now a known reason as to why my brain functions like this and I feel lots happier.

Be kind to yourself.

ADHD is definitely a possibility. I only realised last year - when I chap I know who has very little activity let alone hyperactivity - told me he'd been diagnosed. That led me to look up the tests, which led me to contact my doctor mostly saying "I'm sorry, am I mental to think this?!" him telling me I wasn't, getting tested properly, being diagnosed and awaiting further stuff so I can get drugs that might help me be less of a mess.

The whole thing has made sense of me and my life and mad as it sounds, I couldn't be happier.

I am exactly the same, OP, but I can't at all go along with the idea that it's related to some particular 'diagnosis'. I'm probably too old to medicalise personality traits, though.

I am generally a risk taker, so leaving stuff until the very, very last minute is just the way I do it. The bit that pisses me off is all the time spent thinking "I really must do X piece of work", but not actually doing it.

An ADHD thing - and has nothing to do with laziness. I am 60 now and I still do it.

Myers-Briggs is seen by most trained psychologists as rubbish. Even Wikipedia says:

"Most of the research supporting the MBTI's validity has been produced by the Center for Applications of Psychological Type, an organization run by the Myers-Briggs Foundation, and published in the center's own journal, the Journal of Psychological Type (JPT), raising questions of independence, bias, and conflict of interest.[4]

Though the MBTI resembles some psychological theories, it has been criticized as pseudoscience[5] and is not widely endorsed by academic researchers in the field.[6] "

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers%E2%80%93Briggs_Type_Indicator

I don't think it's just a matter of disorganised undergraduates. But I do wonder whether the traditional 'stress-test-exams' academic education system encouraged procrastination. It was all-or-nothing; students just had to perform at the last minute, in an exam. The process of getting there, and the background of the student and their education, were not seen as relevant.

I also think it's to do with personality or habituation, though not - heaven forbid - in a Myers-Briggs way:

Some people thrive on the drama and adrenalin rush caused by last-minute panics. That's - for them - a great way of focusing the mind and summoning energy. The buzz when a panic task is completed is also a 'reward'.

But I once worked with someone - very bright, very admirable, very successful - who said that they positiively liked to get difficult/boring tasks out of the way as soon as possible. That way, the tasks were no longer a worry or a burden , and they could get on and enjoy the rest of their career and their life.

Possibly, for strict accuracy, I should say 'a great many trained psychologists' rather than 'most'. This is because I can't find up to date figures.
But others are not so cautious:
www.vox.com/2014/7/15/5881947/myers-briggs-personality-test-meaningless

I do this.. I don't have ADHD.

Once I start though, I find it's mostly there in my head just waiting to come out. When I realised that I relaxed a bit, and when I thought about the work I wasn't doing I would find something would pop up which would be the 'perfect' phrase for this that or the other, and I'd write it down and put it in a folder. When I did sit down to do that work, eventually, I could refer to the folder contents and let the rest of it just come out of my brain which had been stewing on it for ages....

Have you done it? Well done.

This is me too.

I’ve been like this my whole life despite being a very high achiever and have recently been formally diagnosed with ADHD. Still going through the process of trying different meds so far without success.

My consultant says he sees loads of high achieving adults who have learnt to mask their symptoms over a lifetime and compensate by working harder than should be necessary.

@Foolsrule

My boss is like this. I hate her for it. She then dumps the last minute tasks on me. So frustrating, and deeply unprofessional.

I’m worried I’m your boss! I never mean to inconvenience anyone else but sometimes I don’t manage to get something done until very late.

The reason I think I have ADHD is not.to do with procrastination, though I do loads of that but more to do with the hyperfocus state which I get I to when I have a big task that I finally get myself into. I rarely hear anyone when focussed like this and have been teased about this aspect of my attention at every job I've had in the last 30 years . I regularly have colleagues having to shout ot touch my shoulder to get my attention. This also means that I miss meetings sometimes as I completely lose track of.time. I have many strategies that help with this which means I don't miss meetings every week but usually miss one every few months or turn up very late.

I jnow about the meeting and have it on my diary, have notifications set on and every day I enter each meeting in my phone alarm app so that I get a loud reminder , 5 mins before a meeting . Even with all of these things I I sometimes lose track of time and miss meetings . It is more often a problem when a meeting is arranged at short notice and somehow gets missed off my daily reminder routines It is very frustrating but luckily I've always had very understanding bosses who don't hold it against me, embarrassing as it is

Anyway procrastination is often the least of my organisational issues at work

Oh and when

@Midlifemusings

And the idea that only people with ADHD work in a more focused manner if it is something they enjoy is bonkers. Everyone finds it easier to work and to stay engaged when they are doing something they like. Everyone has drudgery that is harder to make yourself do.

ADHD is real - but the pathologizing of completely normal behaviour is a bit ridiculous in this thread.

I'm not sure anyone's actually said that have they?

@Midlifemusings

And the idea that only people with ADHD work in a more focused manner if it is something they enjoy is bonkers. Everyone finds it easier to work and to stay engaged when they are doing something they like. Everyone has drudgery that is harder to make yourself do.

ADHD is real - but the pathologizing of completely normal behaviour is a bit ridiculous in this thread.

I agree @Midlifemusings, one behaviour that everyone recognises does not equal a diagnosis. Though I’m not sure if anyone has said hyper focus or trouble staying on task are the preserve of people with ADHD alone have they? I commented early on in this thread that my procrastination was linked to a diagnosis of ADHD but that diagnosis was due to a cluster of criteria not just one behaviour. I didn’t get my diagnosis until I was 52 largely because taken individually my symptoms look like the typical things all of us do. Of course we shouldn’t pathologise every human trait but the discussion can be quite helpful if someone comes to it having spent years being told they’re a useless fecker and wondering why they constantly self sabotage etc. No harm in the conversation.