Do I lend DH money?

[Wazza89]

I recently inherited 2k, a car, plus extra money to pay enough insurance for a year. DH was going to return his car and we were going to share mine. He’s actually the main insurer and I’m a named driver. Then he changed his mind about returning the car so I’m going to switch the insurance back.

Now DH’s car needs anything between £500 to £1k worth of work. He will need to take out a loan. Originally, he was going to sell the car and pay the settlement figure (he’d have made a few hundred, too, going by what webuyanycar quoted). Now, he’s in a dilemma. He won’t get much money for it and will still need to pay the settlement figure. Or he can take out a loan to get it fixed. Either way, he doesn’t have the money. He can’t leave it on the road without insurance, but he doesn’t want to pay for something he’s not driving. He also doesn’t want my car anymore. He wants to take out a loan to repair it, but I’m sick with worry about getting into more debt. Especially with rising energy costs. I put the inheritance money into a savings account and am paying creditors back via direct debit.

Do I lend him the money to avoid getting into more debt or do I leave him to it? In terms of household costs/bills, I pay more in terms of percentage. He has £500 after household costs, but it all goes on finance stuff (inc his car and PC). Thing is, I don’t see any other solution that won’t get us further into debt. And before someone tells me to get a job.. I’m trying!

Has anyone got any practical advice?

So has he stopped pissing about on his games?

Many working parents have to pay for childcare. It is what is it. It's just a shitty, inevitable phase of having young children but it does pass.

Regarding the money, I think your title should be 'do I give DH money?' as he won't be paying you back.

Yesterday you said you had a job lined up. Today you are searching for work. You also said you had 10k worth of debt. Try paying some of that off with your inheritance

*it is what it is

Unless I am misunderstanding he pays for everything. The universal credit you get will be to like working tax credit to bolster his wages. You aren't paying for anything so share your 2k inheritance to help him repair his car he probably uses to get to work to support your household.

Just have one car

I think you can't have 2 cars right now then, much as I understand not wanting to not have the freedom of having one each - and I do understand having not had my own car all of last year because we couldn't afford it.

Maybe he can SORN his and ask a friend if they have a driveway/bit of land (mileage may vary - I know a lot of farmers, haha) he can put it on for now until he can either afford to fix or make up the shortfall on the finance.

I CBA to read OP's old threads but iirc she is paying for quite a bit, almost all of costs concerning her child and shopping etc because her husband has a mountain of debt and so doesn't really see much of his income. I think. I'm sure someone can correct me.

@Littlehouseonthefairy

Unless I am misunderstanding he pays for everything. The universal credit you get will be to like working tax credit to bolster his wages. You aren't paying for anything so share your 2k inheritance to help him repair his car he probably uses to get to work to support your household.

You are misunderstanding. She pays all the household bills and is doing full time childcare.

OP you post about this waste of space constantly. If he's in constant debt he won't pay you back the money. You know he won't.

Just divorce him. He's a lazy, debt-ridden arse. He does nothing to help you. This isn't a partnership. There's no relationship here.

Hes paying a clean fortune on debt out of a low wage and dicking about being a content creator and gaming with kit bought on the never never.

The op buys crap whilst her mother pays for shoes for her child.

It’s completely ridiculous.

Personally I would keep the money and my car, cut him loose. If you 'loan' him the money you won't get it back and if you 'share' your car you won't see that for dust either. You'll have even less money and be at the risk of isolation (can't remember where you live but I expect it is very rural).

She doesn't pay for anything. They get universal credit. It isn't hers. It is theirs and he pays for everything else with his wage. I think it is beyond tight not to pay to fix his car with some of her 2k when he pays for everything that isn't covered by their universal credit (which isn't hers alone).

Share one car.
Taking on more debt is madness.

Aren't you the poster who only works two hours a week and gets panic attacks from driving? Why do you need two cars? He can sell his and you can both use yours.

You can use public transport? You said before you do because you don’t like driving so you pay for public transport? So why do you need two cars?

Putting to one side for now the fact that both OP and her OH come across as utter fools who I wouldn't trust to be in charge of the 'bank' during a family game of Monopoly, never mind a real-life household budget, I'm rarely comfortable with the idea of 'his money' and 'her money' in a marriage. I'm pretty sure that it's implicit somewhere between the lines of most marriage vows that you've thrown your lot in with each other in a full-boots fashion, with finances being a key part of this.

I think you both need to up your game here

@SmellinOfTroy

I think you both need to up your game here

Yes, this absolutely.

As everyone pointed out in your other thread, YOU aren't contributing anything. The tax payer is.

Why don’t you sell your car? Sounds like you can’t afford 2 cars.

I really fancy working 2hrs a week and getting £600 for the privilege.

That is over £69 an hour which is £135,000 a year if you work 37.5 hours a week.

If you have a child together OP isn't the UC a joint claim?

@girlmom21
The child is in, fully funded by the tax payer, nursery 3 hours per day.

My advice is don’t be married to someone who you don’t trust enough to share your money with.

@CanofCant

I CBA to read OP's old threads but iirc she is paying for quite a bit, almost all of costs concerning her child and shopping etc because her husband has a mountain of debt and so doesn't really see much of his income. I think. I'm sure someone can correct me.

How is she paying for everything? Working TWO hours a week. No-one can pay for everything working two hours a week!

I can't get past 'shall I lend my DH money?' Why would anyone LEND money to their husband or wife? What kind of marriage is that?