Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[TerribleTuna]

I'll go...

I've watched the same animated film every day for 2 weeks 🙃

Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo...

I have dried snot on my trousers near my thigh.

We also have plastic plates, cups and cutlery

@OmgIThinkILikeYou

Don't mind me, just watching Sarah and Duck.

Tbh that just describes me as an A-level Philosophy teacher!

This!! I had to have emergency surgery and the stay in the hospital was like being at a hotel. I got full nights of sleep and everything!

This was me! I had a hospital stay recently and was genuinely a bit disappointed when they told me I was able to go home.

It takes me 20 minutes to get to and from my car 60metres away on the road as I have to jump over volcanoes, splash through rivers and run from dinosaurs.
My emergency kit in my car boot includes a portable potty, a nappy, wipes and a playmobil portable farm.
Some nights I get kicked in the head and farted on.
I am expected to produce a meal in 30 seconds flat before the diner becomes hungry and they never tip or compliment the chef.

@justasking111

If I have to brake in the car I throw out my left arm to protect my passenger, any passenger of any age 😂

Me too!

I regularly get what must be a plague of locusts going through the kitchen. One that can open the fridge.

The house is haunted by huge shadowy figures, clumping upstairs.

In 20 years I can count the amount of times I've bought something for myself when shopping in town on one bloody hand

It's not because I couldn't, but because I always put my kids happiness/ joy/ needs above my own. (Because seeing them happy, makes me happy)

Even yesterday, I spent £30 in Costa, and I didn't even want a coffee !

It's a really hard habit to break ! (And I suspect I'll just 'transfer' it to my grandbabies when/if I'm lucky enough to have them ! (It's a standing joke in the family that Mum will come home with 'gifts' saying 'I was just in Tesco for milk, and I saw this baby outfit, so I just bought it' or 'I was in town for new shoes, but I couldn't find anything I liked.....but I did see this lovely baby seat/toy/outfit !'

@NommyChompers

I hear ghost-crying when I shower, or when I am asleep, or watching TV, or eating - it always sounds like there is crying

This happens to me all the time, even though there is no longer a baby in the house.

At certain times I seem to turn into Joyce Grenfell.

@Catra

Sister finger, sister finger, where are yoooou?

🙉🙉🙉 It's Halloweeeeen!

I buy Prada but don't wear it. I wear Primark. I have not been on holiday for years but I have paid for others to go away. I'm sick of the sound of my voice as I mostly speak to myself.

I point out tractors when I'm alone in the car.

All the lights are left on and electronics and towel rack keep getting broken...

oh, and I sound like a parrot from repeating myself over and over pretty much daily

I have bibs in my handbag, and a singing car toy. And a small plastic spoon.

I've been used as a tissue probably about 3 times this week.

I found emergency surgery for appendicitis and the day in hospital afterwards a really lovely, relaxing break from everything.

I buy 18 pints of milk weekly.

I've just forked out over £100 for a couple of pairs of shoes. The ones I wear are about £30 and on their last legs.

I had my teeth cleaned by eager amateur dentists whilst sitting on the toilet.

All sandwiches are now automatically cut into four.

'We'll see' is my go to answer to everything!

Singing what's the story fucking Balamory on a loop.

I make eleventy billion snacks and drinks a day but I can't remember what a hot cup if tea tastes like.

My front door has had an iron man sticker on it since the Summer. Nothing will remove it so now we are just the Iron Man House.

I’m pretty sure I’ve got snot on my nipple….