Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[TerribleTuna]

I'll go...

I've watched the same animated film every day for 2 weeks 🙃

A sensory deprivation tank sounds like an amazing 2 week holiday.

@AreWeThereYetMummy

I'm currently laying in the dark on a bedroom floor wondering if the light from my phone is too bright.

Oooo me too as we speak! Multiple limbs now numb but I don't dare readjust. Somehow they can sleep through the wildest storm but the sound of me gently rolling onto my other side can draw them out of the deepest sleep.

I can't wait for the day that Ladybug and Cat Noir finally get together.

Good idea although I seem to have an imature pallet when it comes to crisps...wotsits and quavers are my favoruite.

I’m alone in a £60 Premier Inn room, and it’s the best night of my life.

When Lyndsey Lohan got locked up a few years back, I remember looking at a picture of her cell, empty but for a bed, a desk and a window and thinking ‘ooh, lucky thing’.

There are stages to getting to sleep that are more complex than a NASA launch.. it's bedtime, get your drinks. Go to the toilet. Put the toys down. Get off the top bunk. Stop shouting. Right, the lights going on dim! Be quiet, settle down.. right! The light is going OFF if I hear one more oink.. ITS MIDNIGHT! ,,( It's 8.30) right! The neighborhood has complained! Etc etc

@HelloDulling

I’m alone in a £60 Premier Inn room, and it’s the best night of my life.

*glares jealously.

I've forgotten how to spell a word for someone else using the actual names of the letters and not just the phonic sounds...

I have a back ''shelf of shame'' in my car, which is choc full of happy meal toys!

I haven't watched a grown up film from start to finish without having to pause it 10345 times for years, so a 90 min film can take 4 hours to watch.

Always have spare gloves, socks, tissues in my pockets and hand bag

I’m a 50 year old lorry driver who can regularly be seen doing the dance to Taylor swift’s shake it off at the wheel 😞

@Twattergy

I shout 'fire engine!' and 'tractor!' when I see them.

I still DP this and my oldest are teenagers. I also include geographical features and animals

The most valuable thing in my house is probably the Lego collection….

When I take off my bra I regularly find Hot Wheels, pieces of Lego and stickers with "Well Done" or "You're a star!" written on them.

Garden doors covered in finger prints, TV too.

I never order a dessert I like in restaurants. I always order what I think someone else will want when they realise they don't like what they have insisted on

There are snacks in my bag. They're not for me.

I look forward to work on a Monday as it's time on my own

If you attend a work meeting with me I will move everyone's glasses of water towards the centre of the table without realising what I am doing.

I have made someone "very sad" because I asked them not try and sit on my lap when I was on the toilet trying to poo in peace.

I have had to answer the following:
"What is an apple made of?"
"What's behind the sky?"
" When we are dead and in heaven how will we find each other when we don't have our bodies any more? "

Cleaning stuff in a top cupboard.

My favourite mugs all have assorted animals in them that expend in water

I have sick on my shoulder. Its probably been there a while.

I found bogeys under my pillow today ...