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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Camilla should not be crowned Queen

483 replies

Viviennemary · 06/02/2022 00:41

I know there are other threads on this but I thought it would be interesting to get a vote. Seems most people are in favour. I'm not

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 06/02/2022 13:20

But why didn't her family tell her? They must have known. Why did they let it go ahead for their 19yo without making sure she understood?

I agree it was an appalling way to treat her. Maybe they wanted the connection? Or maybe they weren't that emotionally close? Or maybe they told her and she didn't take it on board. Who knows?

BadgerB · 06/02/2022 13:20

@DrivelandNonsense

Can people not wake up and see how ridiculous the royal family are now! The future king and queen who have been selected by god to rule are a cheating lying man and the ‘other woman’. Yet you will all bow down to them as your ‘betters’

Is that how low your standards are! Where’s your self respect.

I don't consider them my "betters". I don't believe they are "chosen by God". If I met the Queen I would probably bow (curtesy out of the question - bad knees!) Because that seems to be the polite thing to do.

I hope the RF survive because they give continuity in a changing political landscape. And because I' m a mediaevalist.

Bluesandwhites · 06/02/2022 13:24

Not quite in keeping as the title of this thread, but I don't think Charles is well. Have you noticed his extremely red face, evident within the last 2 years, and his oversized sausage fingers (and toes, as became evident when he visited a Sikh temple)

BonnesVacances · 06/02/2022 13:30

I don't mind. Camilla has kept her head down, weathered a lot of criticism, some deserved some undeserved, she's clearly built up a good relationship with the Queen and been a decent stable addition to the RF. Good for them I say.

Unsure33 · 06/02/2022 13:33

@ComtesseDeSpair

I’ve really never understood the vitriol directed at Camilla. Charles and Diana were both unfaithful and they were in a miserable marriage which everyone around them knew had become a sham. It wasn’t as if Camilla seduced a man away from his innocent and blissfully happy wife who thought she had the perfect marriage and husband.

Frankly I doubt either Charles or Camilla are much interested in whether they get called King or Queen, despite this odd view in the media that Charles is desperate for his time to come. I expect they’d both rather be pottering around doing their own thing.

Pottering around Doing their own thing?

They are both patrons of many charities and camilla has been supporting Refuge recently .

Just because you don’t always see what they do does not mean they are not busy.

DrSbaitso · 06/02/2022 13:40

@CrinklyCraggy

Diana wanted a love match that she was never going to get with Charles. That was her major problem.

But why didn't her family tell her? They must have known. Why did they let it go ahead for their 19yo without making sure she understood?

My guess is either they didn't realise themselves, they thought she knew or they couldn't resist being the family of a princess and presumed future Queen.

It's awful, whatever the reason, but it's not Camilla's fault.

NiceShrubbery · 06/02/2022 13:42

Bluesandwhites Gout? Maybe he does actually eat all that grouse. Or finishes off the red wine after filling up the tank on the DB6. Waste not want not.

ClariceQuiff · 06/02/2022 13:42

Or maybe they told her and she didn't take it on board

Her sister Sarah had already rejected Charles, but Diana seems to have seen that as an opportunity, not a red flag. My guess would be she was so set on marrying him that she wouldn't have listened to other advice.

CrinklyCraggy · 06/02/2022 13:46

I often think this is a reason her brother is so critical - he knows her family let her down.

NiceShrubbery · 06/02/2022 13:46

And because I' m a mediaevalist

Oh me too. Love a bit of medieval tradition. Especially the Tower of London and heads on spikes.

BringBackThinEyebrows · 06/02/2022 13:50

@TheKeatingFive

Comparing how prepared Diana and Meghan were for marrying into the Royal Family, you said:
"those from aristocratic families with extensive connections to the royals are better placed than anyone else (outside of royalty) to understand what 'marrying in' is going to be like"

...after I had mentioned the difference in age, media experience, the fact it was Diana's first marriage, and the fact that information about members of the Royal Family and royal protocol is readily available to anyone with internet access nowadays. Your response suggests that being from an aristocratic family trumps all the points I made.

Also, Charles (future King) has a more 'important' role than Harry so it's not really a comparable situation. As someone who's not from an aristocratic family, I am happy to be corrected.

NETSRIK · 06/02/2022 13:56

Well I'm sure Camilla will be distraught by your OP. YABU by the way.

JustSomething · 06/02/2022 13:57

Yes, she should be whatever the RF choose for her as that is the monarchy for you. If you want choice then go for a republic.

TheKeatingFive · 06/02/2022 13:59

Comparing how prepared Diana and Meghan were for marrying into the Royal Family

There are two separate points here.

Prepared for marriages and relationships more generally. Yes I agree Meghan was better prepared.

For marrying into the royal family specifically (to the extent that anyone ever could be), Diana's background would have been much better preparation.

I hope that clears my position up.

On a purely personal level the two marriages were very different anyway, with Charles and Diana radically different in what they were hoping/expecting from the marriage on a personal level. So that complicated things further.

diddl · 06/02/2022 13:59

"or they couldn't resist being the family of a princess and presumed future Queen."

Yes-bet they couldn't believe that they were in with another chance after Charles & Sarah split!

DrSbaitso · 06/02/2022 14:01

@NETSRIK

Well I'm sure Camilla will be distraught by your OP. YABU by the way.
She, and the rest of them, would be wise not to do anything to turn public opinion against her if it's avoidable. That's why she doesn't use the Princess of Wales title.
BringBackThinEyebrows · 06/02/2022 14:05

@TheKeatingFive

Yes that's clear, thanks 👍

Blossomtoes · 06/02/2022 14:11

But why didn't her family tell her? They must have known. Why did they let it go ahead for their 19yo without making sure she understood?

She was a commodity and they wanted the status for their family. Old aristocratic families aren’t like the rest of us anyway and in addition a 19 year old in 1981 was a very different creature to her 2022 counterpart.

CrinklyCraggy · 06/02/2022 14:13

I was 11 1981 and I remember my father talking about how outrageous it was that such a young "girl" was being married off like that. It wasn't normal, even then.

It may well have been normal for the aristocracy, which is why trying to compare any of it to out own lives is nonsense.

CailleachGranda · 06/02/2022 14:16

@cuparfull

People have V. SHORT memories... Camilla offered Diana up as a brood mare to Charles. It was she that suggested the unworldly young Diana given at that time Camilla was still married. Charles went to see Camilla on the eve of his wedding ( they were still carrying on) and he'd had a ring specially made with their name entwined on it. His heart was never in the marriage and his wife grew to know that. All the undermining of that young girl by those more worldly than her drove her to distraction. Total lack of support by all around Diana led to it all becoming tit for tat. Sadly was never going to end well.

But Camilla was complicit throughout! A malign influence in the marriage. I defy any wife to put up with such treatment.

Oh you are funny

I bet you've got mugs and tea towels at home with Saint Diana on them

Changechangychange · 06/02/2022 14:19

She, and the rest of them, would be wise not to do anything to turn public opinion against her if it's avoidable. That's why she doesn't use the Princess of Wales title.

Or what, we’ll guillotine them? It doesn’t matter what public opinion of her is. Worst case scenario she retreats to living in one of their many estates and carries on as she has been doing at our expense.

diddl · 06/02/2022 14:23

@CrinklyCraggy

I was 11 1981 and I remember my father talking about how outrageous it was that such a young "girl" was being married off like that. It wasn't normal, even then.

It may well have been normal for the aristocracy, which is why trying to compare any of it to out own lives is nonsense.

Yup!

Diana's Mum was 18 & Johnny Spencer 30 when they married.

So although a generation later, perhaps they didn't particularly baulk at the age difference between Charles & Diana.

Jane Fellowes husband is 16 older than her. They married at 22 &38.

wanttomarryamillionaire · 06/02/2022 14:27

@AlternativePerspective

I really don’t get the love for Diana.

She knew Charles didn’t love her, I don’t believe for one second that she didn’t.

They both cheated on each other, and when they divorced Charles remained true to Camila while Diana shagged any man who would have her, including other women’s husbands.

It’s interesting that people say Kate knew what she was getting into and craved it, but somehow Diana was some poor little innocent.

Diana was shrewd. She knew what she was doing, she knew how to manipulate, and she manipulated her way into being some kind of favoured little princess.

She was no saint.

So Charles and Camilla had an affair. Big deal. Given they’re still together over 40 years on I think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t just some kind of cheap shag. As opposed to Diana and Will carling….

Exactly this
DrSbaitso · 06/02/2022 14:30

Is it really Diana's fault, and to her detriment, that she never found love again after her divorce? (It was too soon to tell with Dodi Fayed.)

Nanny0gg · 06/02/2022 14:33

@Lockdownlard

But prince Philip was never King Philip? What’s the difference?
He would have been Prince Consort (the other option for Camilla was Princess Consort) but he turned it down.
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