To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 2: Insomnia Strikes Back

[5YearsLeft]

Bit awkward to start this in the middle of the day, but I wanted to be able to link it on the old thread before it completely fills. Meanwhile, even though right now it’s not post-midnight, if you’re having a day-after hangover from insomnia, feel free to post. Whether it’s from poorly children or babies or pets or OHs, whether it’s grief or fear or anxiety or other losses, whether it’s work stress or home stress or just LIFE stress, we get it. You’re not yelling into the void; you’re sharing with people who have been stuck wide awake, too.

Shattered, but no wee’s in the house!! I’ll. e back with you tonight, no doubt!

@MrsGlum I do t know if you've found this resource but it may be helpful and reassuring if not. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/antidepressants/comparing-antidepressants/

It's all about the different half life of various ADs and seems to suggest that yours does not cause permanent changes. Also here it talks about support for those in withdrawal https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/medication-coming-off/support-services/ (strangely, MN is not mentioned - they need to add it to the list) . I hope this is helpful x

@catwomando
Thanks for the links that’s really helpful.

Just popping in to say I managed to get some sleep, dropped off around 1.30am. Still waking up lots - my FitBit says I was awake for more that an hour and a half - but I definitely managed to get a few good hours over all. Thank goodness!

Sending hugs to you all x

@catwomando I am shocked, SHOCKED, that the MN after-midnight thread isn’t mentioned in particular While that link might be more helpful @MrsGlum, I’ll still ask my friend (I haven’t forgotten - she’s just on American time, so I probably won’t get an answer until at least 5-7pm our time).

@Tallisimo My FitBit sleep report got too depressing so I chucked it, ha. It was saying I was never getting any deep sleep and I was going, “Don’t you think I KNOW that???” While I was forgetting my husband’s name and accidentally pouring milk on my cell phone. I do think it’s the pain that keeps us from being able to reach deep sleep; the act of “tossing and turning” is probably what had your Fitbit reporting that you were awake when you were in light sleep. Mine used to just give me a sleep report that was the equivalent of: “I guess you’ll sleep when you’re dead?” QUELLE IRONIE.

Hello all! I know the thread is closed but I can’t message at night because I can only get comfortable in one position and I can’t lift my head up or use my phone when settled. Doesn’t mean I haven’t been awake though! Operation day after tomorrow. Can’t wait as codeine making me feel seriously sick and a bit whoozy. Sending best wishes to you @@5YearsLeft@ and @Tallisimo specially. X

@5YearsLeft thank you so much. I really do appreciate it.

@Coroico97 Oh, it’s okay; the thread is never officially closed, and I think maybe I forgot to close it all today, so now it’s EXTRA open, ha. I did seem to think surgery day was the 23rd; good luck!!! I’m so hopeful that this will help your pain, and it sounds like it’s been absolutely hellish for you, and being awake all night by yourself (and exhausted and in pain all day with no one who can really understand, even though of course they care) is really disheartening. I’ll have all my fingers crossed, though it’s a bit difficult when they’re all the size of sausage rolls at the moment , and be thinking of you.

@MrsGlum My friend messaged back, and I don’t know if this is helpful or will make you feel worse, but I want to be honest. She said it was an awful time, she was on it six months, and then they did a “fast taper” because she felt her anxiety was getting worse, not better, she gained “shitpiles” of weight, and at the end, she discussed with her doctor that she felt like she had palpitations. So they took her off it really quickly and she said it was awful for about three months - her anxiety was worse, insomnia, stomach issues, joint pain, nausea, terrible hot flashes, exhaustion, and she was on 30mg before she quit. And then the NEXT three months were “a lot better, but kind of in-between.” And then at the end of six months, she finally felt almost completely like she’d never taken it (no joint pain, no hot flashes, no stomach issues, no additional insomnia, no increase in anxiety, still some nausea). But she still struggles with anxiety even now, because it was a genuine issue for her before the mirtazapine, and she still occasionally has insomnia, but no worse than before the mirtazapine. So… I’m not sure this is a great answer to hear but that’s it: she was on 30mg, she did a “fast taper,” and it was three months she felt badly, and a complete six months until she felt 100% unaffected by it. She said at the time, her doctor told her most people are fine after a few weeks but that they would still consider after-effects “normal” up to three months, which she said was how long she really felt the worst of it, so it seemed “on schedule.”

@5YearsLeft I honestly can’t tell you how grateful I am to you for getting this information from your friend and so quickly too! Please also thank her on my behalf.
As you say, the details of her experience are a mixed blessing in that I now know I’m in for a tough ride for a few more weeks but that it does eventually get better. I’m hoping that the fact I was on a lower dose for less time may mean it doesn’t take 6 months for me, hopefully closer to the 3 month mark which is still a bit pants given I was only on it for 2 months! My biggest fears are that the insomnia won’t resolve as I was always a really good sleeper up until now (although it would mean i didn’t get to chat to all you lovely folk on here at 3am!) and that the painful foot problems it’s caused me may be permanent.
I had a complete melt down today because I’m so angry that I went onto this horrible medication when I absolutely didn’t need to. My DH thought he might need to get me sectioned at one point! I’d convinced myself that I’d thrown away the rest of my life by using it and would never feel better. The GP prescribed it when I was experiencing an anxious time but I didn’t have anxiety per se. The ‘sledgehammer to crack a nut’ analogy is so true here! She made a bad call in prescribing it, but I should have done my research before taking that first tablet. I beat myself up constantly for the problems it has caused, but your friend’s experience has given me some light at the end of the tunnel that maybe all is not lost.
I am determined to stick it out because I never want to be on an AD med again and want to avoid getting into a cycle of taking more and more to mitigate the effects of previous ones.
So it’s onwards and upwards from here I hope.
I’m sorry your fingers are sore today.I really had no appreciation of chronic pain or long term health conditions until all this happened to me. I’m so in awe of people who smile through their troubles and get on with life, unlike me who has just crumbled into a soggy mess.
Thank you again and I’ll probably see you at 3am!

Hi all hope everyone is ok.

Been very, very stressful here. Moved on Friday, went into labour on Saturday, had emergency c section Sunday under general anaesthetic. Baby born and needed resuscitating. Person who promised to have ds dropped him off at the hospital as she ‘has her own life’
He’s with emergency foster carer and kept messaging me saying he’s scared and to hell him. My heart is breaking for him.

Baby is being treated as premature because she’s very little, 5lb 6oz which isn’t too little but she’s very skinny and short bless her.

Hoping to be home tomorrow, midwives are trying to get ds back here and will let us go but they can’t get hold of the social worker.

Hello all - time yet again for the after-midnight thread. I’m hoping to get some sleep myself since I have the doctor for my autoimmune problem, swelling, and vasculitis tomorrow at 9am, argh. And to finally (painfully) getting blood drawn first anythingknho Minh look ffff

As always, whatever is keeping you awake, whatever problems or pains or issues that seem bigger at night when you’re alone, you can share them here. We get it.

It’s now officially ONE day until @Coroico97’s surgery (we know you can’t respond at night when it’s impossible to get comfortable but just know we’re all thinking of you!)

Also I have to assume @Chichimcgee’s silence means that she’s deep in a pre-natal or post-natal ward and maybe can’t find a place to plug her phone in. Here’s hoping all is well!!!

@Chichimcgee Cross posted with you. Oh gosh! I’m so sorry for all of your stress. Congrats on the new baby, wonderful news, but I’m sorry it was an emergency c-section and you and your son are going through such a stressful time! I do hope you’ll be reunited quickly!!!

Thank you @5YearsLeft
Hoping to go home tomorrow, baby is a fighter, she was literally born deceased and is ready to go home already although I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
DS is really struggling and I’m hoping he’s with me very very soon, like first thing.

Hope the blood draw goes well and the appointment as well as it can.

@Chichimcgee huge congratulations! Your new daughter is a strong one for sure (well, she is a girl after all ) Can't imagine how shocking and stressful that must be for you and I'm in awe of your strength, composure and coping. You really are bloody awesome 😎💪🏾. Do you have a name for her yet? It will be lovely to have your family all together tomorrow and for DS to meet his new sister. Shocking that your 'friend' let you down like that but DS is safe and that's the main thing. He's pretty awesome too ❤️. And dare we ask for a pic? (Fully understand if that's a no for confidentiality reasons). We have a thread baby, which is truly wonderful 😊

@5YearsLeft sending you supporting vibes for hospital tomorrow and ditto to @Coroico97 - break a leg (not literally you know ), it will be such a relief for you to get the surgery done.

I made the mistake of having a glass of wine when I got in from my dance class (it was Fabulous!) and so am now wine-awake with fat cat 🐈‍⬛, who has just chirruped a hello to you all, new baby and all.

Hope everyone gets some rest.

Been awake for an hour now. I think the lamb won't make it. Back to the vet yesterday. She's no suck reflex and precious little desire to swallow.

I currently have the worst toothache across my whole right side of my jaw. I'm just sitting crying and shaking because nothing is helping.
Have had ice on my face for the last hour. I was so close to phoning 111 to see if I can go to A&E about this. It’s so unbearable.
I’ve tried salt water, anbesol, orajel, ice, heat, crying, clove oil, far far too much ibuprofen, 30mg co-codamol, aspirin and nothing is taking the pain away. It’s agony. It shouldn’t be right that you can’t see an emergency dentist if you can’t pay for it. If I could inject my own gums I would in a heart beat. I really don't know what to do.
Sorry this isn't very coherent - I'm typing with my left hand and haven't slept for two nights 😢

@catwomando I would send you a pic privately but I don’t think you can?
She’s called Iris, DS chose her name. I’m hoping in a few hours I’ll be napping on my sofa relaxed and with my family. She’s in preemie clothes bless her that someone gave to me here, not sure what the sonographer was measuring at 34 weeks but she’s definitely not 9lb+! I bought first size things for her but they’re huge, she’s on the 0.4th centile bless her. Have been told I might have ptsd from it all, I feel like I’m only just over the ptsd I had from having my son! So whether I’m up for night feeds, night mares or general insomnia I’m sure I’ll be about most nights!
Good morning fat cat 👋

Still waiting for ds, baby has funny knees and apparently it’s because babies don’t have knee caps?!! Who knew?!

@Wallywobbles I hope she somehow pulls through, it sounds really stressful for you.

@JollyHolly30 oh darling toothache is the worst, you should be able to go to any dentist for emergency treatment and 111 have a dental side as well so please ring them and ask for help

@Chichimcgee What a beautiful name. I have iris in the garden and absolutely love them and will think of you all when they bloom in spring. It's a classic, classy and sweet name. Little Iris 👶🏻 . So happy that you are home and that she's here safely (albeit traumatically - she may well decide to be an actor when she's older so that she can do dramatic entrances professionally ). She will soon grow to fit the clothes you have, I seem to remember my titchy DD (who also has a flower name) getting through clothes very quickly. She was a 5th centile but ate like a horse (still does!) but stayed skinny (forever being chastised by the HVs which pissed me off no end!).

@JollyHolly30 that's rubbish, I'm so sorry. Can you get to a dentist today? Maybe just rock up holding your face and crying to help them understand the urgency? Toothache is a misnomer, it's more like excruciating head pain as it radiates everywhere and makes you want to cut your own head off to get relief, grim.  hopefully you can get it sorted soon.

@Wallywo sorry to hear about the little lamb

The fat 🐈‍⬛ send purrs and head boops to you all. And if you're dog people, I'm sorry

This only applies to some of us on here but.....

Er… I got it wrong. My doctor isn’t until Wednesday. Today, a woman is coming to look at the apartment and tell us all the things that need to be fixed before we move out. My DH has to be here for it because she only speaks French and mine isn’t quite good enough for this, and she’s shown in the past that she has NO tolerance for small mistakes between languages.

@Chichimcgee I do hope you’re able to go home soon, and and I’m sorry things have been so unsettled for your son! I also can’t believe that friend who said she would watch him and then just… gave up. That’s awful. So I hope your whole little family will be reunited in your new home as soon as possible. As for the PTSD, that’s so difficult to say. I definitely don’t want to ignore it, but you may find that instead, it’s a more shock and it passes more quickly once you’re home and in control of the situation and have your son back. I know it’s just impossible to tell yet though, so give yourself time.”"

@Wallywobbles Ah, I’m so sorry to hear this. Sounds like the whole situation just never really came back from the awful birth to begin with. While I do really hope this little one makes it, I also know it might be better for him to go now while he’s little and not suffer. Man, Mother Nature is HARSH.

@JollyHolly30 I’m so sorry you’re facing this. I know toothaches can’t be just debilitating and terrible, with horrible pain. Have you told them the pain is radiating outwards and you fear it could be an infection? (Which would make sense since nothing is helping you; if Anbesol and Orajel aren’t working, it does sound like it’s possibly deep enough to be an infection). If that’s the case, they should definitely be giving you a chance to see someone in less than three weeks. I’m sorry, as it sounds just torture, and I do hope there can be a better solution!

As for me, now that the doctor is tomorrow, I’m making some oatmeal, taking my 1000 morning pills, and then trying to get some sleep until the Apartment inspection lady comes

@catwomando I feel very personally attacked by that comic

Well, sun is up so the thread is “closed” - but it’s never officially closed and you can come and message anytime you want or need to. Insomnia is something that happens at night, but you suffer all bloody day, so sometimes you need support at 2pm. Feel free to come have a moan then, if it helps.

I confused everything, so I have my doctor Wednesday and instead, at 2pm today, a very angry French woman, comes to examine our apartment and tell us what to fix so we can move out Monday. And no… we have not packed a single box. Ha.