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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if you sleep trained your baby

411 replies

babyjellyfish · 05/02/2022 11:12

What approach did you take, how old was your baby and how successful was it?

Looking for a range of views and experiences.

Thank you.

OP posts:
coraka · 09/02/2022 00:22

[quote Xds1453]@coraka

I know what it’s like to be severely sleep deprived? I was hallucinating when I left hospital after a traumatic crash c section and haemorrhage and week on the ward with 1 hour sleep or less a night. Breastfeeding so still no chance to catch up once home, a baby with tongue tie and severe colic who constantly cried and never had these long naps in the day that everyone told me about. I obviously developed PND and on top PTSD . My baby didn’t sleep in stretches for months, I was a mess and felt suicidal, all I wanted was to sleep properly but guess what …I didn’t leave my baby to scream for 50 bloody minutes. I will say it’s cruel because it is , I hope no one else looking for tips on here copies you. CIO is horrendous. Gentle sleep training should be the only thing people try.[/quote]
I’m sorry you had such a difficult time - so many of us have similar stories of childbirth and early motherhood. We all make huge sacrifices and take huge personal risks to give our babies life. I’m glad you are happy with your decision, I hope you received good support and that things are going better for you now.

Breastfeeding is another one where terrible guilt and pressure is put on mothers. It’s so hard when things don’t go according to plan and we all want to do what’s “best”. Unfortunately we will never have perfect knowledge, there are so many decisions to make and risks to weigh up, vaccinations, schooling, tonsillectomies, contact sports, it’s never-ending as a parent. But I try not to agonise over the past and simply repeat what I said before, that we all make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time and we do it with love.

I’d like mothers who are currently suffering as we were to be able to access support and information so that they can make their own decisions and be at peace with them.

Original poster
babyjellyfish · 09/02/2022 10:04

Last night baby slept through from 8:15 to 4:30am and then with a little encouragement slept for another hour. (Apparently; it was my husband's turn to sleep in there next to him.)

I did a face mask and then got 7 hours' uninterrupted sleep in the spare room. Grin

Slashing his daytime naps in half seems to be helping, but it's still early days.

We'll carry on like this until the weekend and then I think we'll take one side off his cot and try putting his mattress back in it, still with someone sleeping on the mattress next to him so he knows he's not alone.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 09/02/2022 10:11

I let my babies cry themselves to sleep, it's how they settled. Sounds harsh but babies cry when they're tired and the best thing to sort that was to be able to self settle
. None of them cried for long and when they were poorly they had a different cry and obviously slept with me then.
Don't think any of them remember how they went to sleep as babies now they’re grown

nanbread · 09/02/2022 10:17

We tried it, multiple times (never full CIO), didn't work, I was close to mental breakdown through lack of sleep. Didn't sleep through until 4yo. Turns out DC is probably autistic and I wonder if it is linked.

Piglet89 · 09/02/2022 12:13

@nanbread I do think there has been research done on links between autism and sleep issues.

JustAnotherUserinParadise · 09/02/2022 13:08

@babyjellyfish that's brilliant progress! Fingers crossed it continues for you!

Somethingsnappy · 09/02/2022 13:21

@coraka, I just wanted to say well done on your kind, thoughtful and thought-provoking posts, especially in the face of some very harsh criticism!

Piglet89 · 09/02/2022 14:01

Agreed thank you @coraka - lovely, balanced posts.

Samanabanana · 09/02/2022 15:10

@GrendelsGrandma you know there's no sabertooth tiger but your baby doesn't!

Sexnotgender · 10/02/2022 10:46

@babyjellyfish

Last night baby slept through from 8:15 to 4:30am and then with a little encouragement slept for another hour. (Apparently; it was my husband's turn to sleep in there next to him.)

I did a face mask and then got 7 hours' uninterrupted sleep in the spare room. Grin

Slashing his daytime naps in half seems to be helping, but it's still early days.

We'll carry on like this until the weekend and then I think we'll take one side off his cot and try putting his mattress back in it, still with someone sleeping on the mattress next to him so he knows he's not alone.

That’s fantastic. Hope you feel a little more positive now.
ThatsNotMyMuffin · 10/02/2022 11:05

Later has been several times accused of cherry picking evidence. She presents good evidence, but it's all basically to back up her parenting choices. Also a lot of the evidence and studies she gives is 'parent reported' which is not really an appropriate way to collect data. If I spent a week not eating sugar, I'm more likely to report that I feel I've lost weight etc. So relying on parents reporting after they have done sleep training is going to have a huge confirmation bias, as well as a placebo effect.

OP so glad you're getting better sleep!

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