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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
DomesticatedZombie · 04/02/2022 16:34

Congrats, OP. And yes, I'm sorry, it's dispiriting! Flowers

MargaretThursday · 04/02/2022 16:35

Difficult one.

I have bought one from someone I know who self-published because I'd beta read it for her and loved it.

Not sure I'd necessarily want to if I hadn't checked first though. What if I didn't like it? Come to that, maybe they all have read it, and don't like to tell you they didn't like it Wink

Publishing a book traditionally is hard, so congratulations. However if someone hasn't tried then they may not realise what an achievement it is.

But throwing it round a bit: Yes, it's an achievement, but you're asking people to spend their money on something they may not be interested in. If you go to a signing then there is an expectation you will buy too, so if people don't want to buy then they'll not want to come to that either.

If you're getting good reviews from independent readers and lots of sales then surely that's more important than friends' opinions.

Costacoffeeplease · 04/02/2022 16:35

I am about to publish my second book. Lots of friends and family have bought and read the first one, and are waiting for the sequel, but I don’t mind if they aren’t interested, and I don’t ask for feedback, I wait for them to mention it first.

ABitBesottedWithMyDog · 04/02/2022 16:35

Congratulations!

I do try to read my friends' books unless they're published in Italian or whatever. It's a small gesture of support. So I think your friends are being a bit shit.

I don't like anyone IRL to read my writing, though. The mere idea brings me out in a rash, in fact.

tigger1001 · 04/02/2022 16:35

Yanbu if they aren't supporting you. But yabu if you expect the support to be buying the book.

If a friend of mine had written and published a book I would be thrilled for them and would be asking them about it and maybe offer to go to a book signing if I could.

But I would only buy the book if it was a subject I enjoyed reading. And even then I might not buy it in case I didn't like it and then had to face telling my friend that.

I don't have much free time for reading for leisure. Support can be given in other ways

ikeepseeingit · 04/02/2022 16:36

YANBU and Congratulations!! Do they never read or something? It seems odd they wouldn't at least praise you!

It's hard to get published, so it's a wonderful achievement, with great critical reviews as well. Well done OP. You have achieved many peoples life long dream through hard work, for that, you have my admiration.

Horst · 04/02/2022 16:36

Honestly I wouldn’t buy it and read it because your telling me about it and I’d hate to read it and not like it and be under constant grilling by you as to have I read it yet, did I like it then have to lie or then more questions as to why didn’t I like well what part exactly.

I’d read a friends book because I happened to stumble across it and it turns out a friend wrote it but I wouldn’t buy one from a friend who keeps pointing out they wrote a book, yes that book just there

Omemiserum · 04/02/2022 16:37

I have a friend who had a book published and the daughter of a friend has also had a book published. I made a point of buying them both. I don't know many authors and was proud of them both.

NatashaBedwouldbenice · 04/02/2022 16:37

This is a fantastic achievement for you. But can you list the greatest achievement since September (in their eyes) of each of the people you’re talking about and how you celebrated them?

Guacamoleontoast · 04/02/2022 16:37

Well done! A massive achievement. I self published mine and the same thing. No relatives wanted to buy it.

Inspectorslack · 04/02/2022 16:38

I wouldn’t buy and read your book unless I was interested in it. Sorry.

frazzledfragglefromfragglerock · 04/02/2022 16:39

Not rtft but I disagree with people saying you're being precious. It's one thing not to buy your book if they decide it's not for them but theses people weren't even aware it was an actual book available in book stores and have been a bit hurtful implying they can't believe people would want you to sign a copy. Sort of shows they don't care about what's important to you.

My cousin has just self published her first book and I'm following with interest and encouragement. I'll probably download it and have a look but I don't think it's my kind of thing. But at least then I'll know who I can recommend it to.

She's not even my real cousin and we live in different countries but I like her and I can see what a big deal it is to her so even if I can only offer kind words I'll be positive and supportive.

Avacadoandtoast · 04/02/2022 16:39

YANBU, I’d be buying a few - let us know what book OP!

SailingNotSurfing · 04/02/2022 16:39

I write under a pseudonym and not one of my friends know it's me. I am rubbish at being criticised, even when it's constructive, and I would rather they didn't know me as an author. My work sells and I mostly get positive reviews, but it's all from people who don't know me.

Pbbananabagel · 04/02/2022 16:40

I know exactly what they should all be receiving for birthday/Christmas this year then!

CSIblonde · 04/02/2022 16:40

Congrats on being a published author! I only enjoy psychology, thrillers , true crime , history or old Hollywood stars bio's to be fair , so I'd congratulate the friend & show interest, but not read it, if it wasn't my thing.

frazzledfragglefromfragglerock · 04/02/2022 16:40

I feel like a lot of people here have no idea the effort that goes into writing and publishing a book. Just a well done you've worked so hard would be appreciated I'm sure!

vodkaredbullgirl · 04/02/2022 16:41
Biscuit
MmeD · 04/02/2022 16:41

My best friend wrote a memoir. I’m in it, under my real, first name. I bought it and read it. I was not impressed by how she portrayed me Hmm. I think the insults were meant to be affectionate, but still Grin.

It sounds as though your friends don’t quite get it OP, given the reaction of “oh it’s a real book…”

But look on the bright side, you can skewer them horribly in the next one and they’ll never know.

Tulipomania · 04/02/2022 16:42

Did you hold a book launch party & invite them?

Maybe they are waiting for that. Lots of writers in my family and that's usually when we buy the book so we can get it signed.

Is it a mainstream subject and at a reasonable price? Some academic books cost £50!

esloquehay · 04/02/2022 16:42

Your friends do not sound supportive in their comments/responses to being published, but YABU to expect your friends to buy and read your book.
Your post does read like an overt brag/sales pitch.
Congratulations, on being published and accomplishing a childhood dream.

lottiegarbanzo · 04/02/2022 16:42

I would be trepidatious about reading a friend's novel, in case I didn't like it, or wasn't impressed. I'd hate to have to lie. Much better to be a generally supportive friend but show little interest in the specifics.

Pyri · 04/02/2022 16:42

I think people are massively overestimating how much people in real life actually read

I reckon most people pick up a book on holiday and that’s it. 10% of people read regularly. I just don’t think many people have a true interest in reading books these days

MargaretThursday · 04/02/2022 16:42

OP hasn't been back. Maybe this is just an advertising ploy Grin

NoResolutionsHere · 04/02/2022 16:43

Maybe they can't read or don't read, some people have zero interest in this sort of thing. I'd be excited if a friend released a book though, I actually went to a friend of a friend's book launch. Drinks reception in the bookshop, was nice actually, all her friend's turned out in force too.

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