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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
Guineapigssweak · 04/02/2022 16:43

You need new friends. Please tell us about your.book!!

stripeyflowers · 04/02/2022 16:43

I think it's a normal thing - to their families and friends, the well-known singer, actor, painter, footballer etc. is normally just 'our so-and-so' and never quite seem in the same way as proper real famous whatevers!

Upyouranty · 04/02/2022 16:43

My dh has written 3 business books. He’s dedicated then all to me ♥️
He’s given me his original drafts…. I treasure them.

I’ve not really read them. No bloody idea. It’s an area of business that I just am not familiar with… and it’s a tough read because if it.

Tulipomania · 04/02/2022 16:43

Oops just seen you have a book signing coming up.

Hopefully they will all pitch up to that and buy a copy then.

vodkaredbullgirl · 04/02/2022 16:44

She wants us to go and buy her book, or have a look at all the fuss.

Pyri · 04/02/2022 16:44

@MargaretThursday

OP hasn't been back. Maybe this is just an advertising ploy Grin
Not a very good one - she hasn’t said what the book is called!
GiantSpider · 04/02/2022 16:44

I have know a few people who have written books. Mainly non fiction relating to their work. I am a reader but I have to say I've only read one of them Blush although two more are sitting in my kindle waiting to be read! It doesn't mean I don't love my friends (family member in one case). It's just that I have limited reading time and I like to choose what to read.

stripeyflowers · 04/02/2022 16:44

*seen

Valkyrie40 · 04/02/2022 16:44

They're probably expecting a free copy?

Ilkleymoor · 04/02/2022 16:44

I would buy a friend's book and use it as a present for someone if wasn't my type of thing. If I didn't have money at the time, I would request it at the library. It's really hard to get published and really hard to get another book bought. I'd be really disappointed if my friend's didn't support me - I've bought novels and at least postcards from friends who make art and told other people about them. It's not that a big a deal but really important for them.

redbigbananafeet · 04/02/2022 16:45

I think had it been me I'd have gifted my book to my friends. I wouldn't be expecting them to pay £15 for it in Watsrstones

lottiegarbanzo · 04/02/2022 16:45

In fact I hate it generally, when friends expect their friends to support their work ventures, be that buying face cream from them, or reading their books. Work and friendships, the content and detail of work anyway, are best kept separate.

Your book with find its own audience. You didn't write it for your friends.

MrHavelIsHot · 04/02/2022 16:45

OP hasn't been back. Maybe this is just an advertising ploy

OP only posted an hour ago. 😅

Changedmane · 04/02/2022 16:46

Congrats on the book! These days, I let people do as they will and don’t pay it much mind. You have great reviews, you have a published book and that’s all that matters. Maybe it feels too personal, maybe they don’t want to say anything negative and maybe they can’t be bothered. It is a shame but as I said, if you have no expectations, they won’t be disappointed.

CrinklyCraggy · 04/02/2022 16:46

I'd be really excited for any friend who had a book published, but I'm not sure I'd buy a copy. I think I might expect to be given a signed copy....and I'm not usually grabby at all.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 04/02/2022 16:47

YANBU I bought my friends book and left her a rave review on Amazon and was super happy for her. I haven’t actually read it

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 04/02/2022 16:47

Omg. Yanbu. Someone i kinda know has a family member who wrote a book. Not only did i buy and read it. Childrens book. I reviewed it online and recommended to others. I dont even know the author but wanted to support someone 'local'

MumofHorace · 04/02/2022 16:47

@Iamuhtredsonofuhtred

YANBU I bought my friends book and left her a rave review on Amazon and was super happy for her. I haven’t actually read it
🤣
Stompythedinosaur · 04/02/2022 16:47

Partner/parent/best friend - yes, I would probably expect them to show an interest.

Anyone else - you are expecting too much.

Reading a book that (though it is potentially good) may not be your usual choice, is a significant endeavour. How often have you spent over 20 hours doing something you didn't enjoy without even the motivation of social contact in order to seem supportive to a friend?

vodkaredbullgirl · 04/02/2022 16:48

Friday night NP

drpet49 · 04/02/2022 16:49

They sound jealous

InisnaBro · 04/02/2022 16:49

@redbigbananafeet

I think had it been me I'd have gifted my book to my friends. I wouldn't be expecting them to pay £15 for it in Watsrstones
How many free author copies do you imagine you're given??? Grin
r0ck · 04/02/2022 16:49

YABU (my husband has had a book published and he tells friends not to buy it for his sake, unless they're actually interested in it)

oviraptor21 · 04/02/2022 16:49

YABU.
I have a friend who writes and has published several successful novels but they're just not a subject matter or style I'm interested in. It would be a chore and I'm sure my friend wouldn't want me to feel I had some sort of duty to them.
And agreed with a PP, I don't want a work of fiction to possibly influence or alter how I perceive my friend.

Workconundrummergirl · 04/02/2022 16:51

@redbigbananafeet
I think had it been me I'd have gifted my book to my friends. I wouldn't be expecting them to pay £15 for it in Watsrstones
I can well imagine the MN thread.

Every year I spend ages picking out the most exquisite personal presents for all my friends. This year, my supposed best friend brought me HER book as part of my Xmas present. If I'd been interested in reading it, I'd have brought it myself. Aibu to think you don't give people your own book unless you're an ego maniac and friends should be free to choose their own books?