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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
HelloFrostyMorning · 04/02/2022 23:56

Our local Waterstones DID do a book signing for a woman who self-published by the way. It does happen.

There is no shame in it, and it can be a stepping stone to a successful writing career, and many people who self publish are very good. But I am hazarding a wild guess that the OP did self publish. I find it extremely unlikely she is a signed, successful, recognised author.

ChampagneLassie · 04/02/2022 23:58

YANBU I think your friends are being a bit rubbish. "a real book" FFS. If you want to give benefit of doubt perhaps you've been too humble / not blown your own trumpet enough such that they didn't realise - hence it's a real book comment, etc noone wants to sound like they're ramming stuff down people's throats but you may have undersold yourself. X

OfstedOffred · 04/02/2022 23:59

Yanbu to expect people to be a bit aware of it if you've talked about it etc.

But yabu to expect people to buy it. I fell out with a friend because they expected me to support their fledgling business selling on overpriced crap.

TheWatersofMarch · 05/02/2022 00:02

They are a bit strange. My friend had a Children’s book published and I bought copies to give as presents as well as for us. I was sillily proud of her. Maybe they will get it if you invite them to the launch.

ChampagneLassie · 05/02/2022 00:02

I know several published authors... some of them are modest, some of them it's all over their social media, mentioning it all time and in person, and giving out copies to F&F asking everyone to write reviews on Amazon. So no way their mates wouldn't know about it

strawberriesarenot · 05/02/2022 00:02

I know a self published author who did Waterstones signing too (he had published mainstream in other genres though). The book did well and went on to win an award (Banff) so it can happen.

strawberriesarenot · 05/02/2022 00:07

I think the 'real book' comment maybe was just cf. 'ebook' and not meant to be degrading

I think self publishing and some small presses do just do ebooks and that's what friend was thinking.

(JL Carr self published. Quince Tree Press. Magnificent writer.)

onlychildhamster · 05/02/2022 00:10

@HelloFrostyMorning oh goodness. Getting into KCL to do law isn't remotely on the same tier as publishing a book..I did the former at 18 lol. Hundreds and hundred of people are accepted every year, it's not special at all. I honestly don't know a published author personally (other than people who write books for work).

vodkaredbullgirl · 05/02/2022 01:17

waits for the DM to pick story up

charlotterousse · 05/02/2022 06:54

@HelloFrostyMorning

Our local Waterstones DID do a book signing for a woman who self-published by the way. It does happen.

There is no shame in it, and it can be a stepping stone to a successful writing career, and many people who self publish are very good. But I am hazarding a wild guess that the OP did self publish. I find it extremely unlikely she is a signed, successful, recognised author.

Self-publishing is different from using a vanity press, which is what some posters seemed to be implying OP had done. It's a legit option, but nonetheless quite rare for a self-published author to be offered that kind of exposure in a mainstream bookshop, so if OP has achieved that then by definition she is a "recognised" author. Why is it so difficult for people here to believe that she might actually have achieved something?
Snog · 05/02/2022 07:38

Do you not get a stack of books from your publisher that you give to friends and family?

JinglingHellsBells · 05/02/2022 07:41

IME local book shops and even chains like Ws will publish local authors' self-published books if they are relevant to the area - ie historical. Otherwise, no.

Obviously the OP is not going to come back and give her name or the book as it will out her.

All I can say is that she apears to surround herself with friends who are not on the same wavelength as her, who don't appreciate the hard work in writing a book, and aren't especially nice friends.

They don't need to buy it but they seem pretty ignorant if they don't understand it's an achievement and that a signing is there to SELL your book - that's the whole point and why authors and book shops do these!

InisnaBro · 05/02/2022 07:54

@strawberriesarenot

I think the 'real book' comment maybe was just cf. 'ebook' and not meant to be degrading

I think self publishing and some small presses do just do ebooks and that's what friend was thinking.

(JL Carr self published. Quince Tree Press. Magnificent writer.)

I entirely agree JL Carr was a magnificent writer, but Quince Tree only published two of his eight novels. (I know the publisher of A Month in the Country, who says that JLC was incredibly difficult to deal with!)
BigGreen · 05/02/2022 07:57

YANBU your dearest friends should surely buy it?!

Perfectlystill · 05/02/2022 08:15

OP never came back

Porcupineintherough · 05/02/2022 08:21

I would almost certainly buy and read a fictional book read by a friend but I'd lie about having read it if I didnt like it (one of my friend's husbands is a published author, I think his stuff is a pile of shite so I dont mention I've read it. Fictions such a personal taste).

HollowTalk · 05/02/2022 08:37

@Floralnomad

If a good friend of mine had written a book I’d probably have expected to be given a copy , I find it odd that your husband bought one .
What, don't you think her husband should support her?Do you think she should put all that effort in that book and just give you a copy?
HollowTalk · 05/02/2022 08:38

@MrsRussell

I feel your pain, but it's kind of awkward if they hate it...

My old manager read all mine when he was in hospital having surgery on his leg and he was a little bit shocked at how sweary and violent they were (historical fiction but I think he was expecting it to be a bit more genteel than what he got. Mate, I write about battles. I know I make you a brew when you're in my office, but in my books, you're more likely to get shot in the head.) Our relationship was always a bit wary after that - it was like he was talking to the polite administrator but he knew underneath that was the cavalry officer with a bad temper and a sword.

I love this!
stuntbubbles · 05/02/2022 08:45

@Snog

Do you not get a stack of books from your publisher that you give to friends and family?
RTFT. It’s been explained multiple times that authors get a limited number of free copies, often between 5 and 20, which are better used for marketing and publicity purposes than to give to friends who might not read them and will just stash them on a shelf somewhere. Those free author copies form part of the contract; asking for one is like me asking you to eat in your subsidised canteen, or for a day of your holiday allowance.

In any case, the OP wasn’t asking for her friends to buy the book and I’m not sure why the thread is so intently about that. She’s asking for them to be less dismissive: they’ve expressed surprise it’s a “proper” book in Waterstones, and dismissed her signing as “why would people want that from you?” As an author I don’t expect my friends to buy or read my book any more than I want to look at their lesson plans or journal article, but I do expect them to be pleased for me as I am for their achievements, and the OP is no different.

Silvershroud · 05/02/2022 09:01

OP isn't much of a writer. No responses to 20 pages.

Lilyargin · 05/02/2022 09:07

I think that's disappointing from your friends and family. My brother and son are published authors and they always give me a copy, but also, I always buy their books as presents for people to support my db and ds. And obviously I attend their book signings/evenings with the author.
I'd be pissed off with my friends if I were you.
Congratulations!

RockinHorseShit · 05/02/2022 09:09

If they're your friends & you want them to read it. Give them a copy, don't expect your friends to buy from you, that's a bit unfair. I have a list of friends who have books published & I was given a book by most of them. I get this is expensive to do with everyone, but with the close friends you expect support from, it's a bit tight not to just give them a copy of your book

rookiemere · 05/02/2022 10:48

@stuntbubbles I agree OPs friends should not be dismissive, but she does expect them to buy the book, it's literally in the thread title as they're not going to be able to read it unless they buy a copy.

Wreath21 · 05/02/2022 10:55

@strawberriesarenot

Wreath21 Of course you're right. I put that badly. I meant within the author's personal life. As in, you would never ask an author to collect reviews from friends and family, or push sales on friends and family. Their goodwill shouldn't be assumed; it should be a free choice whether they read a book or not. And to be honest, 'my best friend loves my book' isn't much to go on. What is needed is for complete strangers to love the book. (Anyway, I don't believe in this book very much.)
Fair enough (and, as a sometimes-editor, I do know what you mean about 'my friends and family love my work not necessarily being much of a recommendation).

But I do see where OP's disappointment is coming from - sounds like she may be surrounded by people as dull and mean-minded as some of the posters on this thread.

Juanmariaramierz · 05/02/2022 10:55

Free copies to friends