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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
QueenoftheFarts · 04/02/2022 19:02

I have a friend who is a published author. I find their writing boring as arse. But I like the friend so I just pretend I love them.

neverbeenskiing · 04/02/2022 19:04

I think YABU. One of my best friends makes computer games for a living and is pretty successful at it, but I've never bought any of them and he wouldn't expect me to because he knows it's not my thing.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 04/02/2022 19:06

As I am interested in the way my friends think…that is why we are friends after all… I can’t imagine not being interested in what they have written, even if I don’t necessarily like it.

@LoisLane66 I celebrate and take an interest in all sorts of my friends achievements: promotion, having a baby, new recipe, recent holiday, work life etc.

What sort of miserable catsbum-mouthed mate takes no interest in what is objectively a considerable achievement?

Lilymossflower · 04/02/2022 19:09

If I had a friend who published a book, I would try my best to be at the book signing to show my support, even if I couldnt afford to buy the book or had no interest in the subject matter. And if I couldn't make the signing due to child commitments or whatever , I would be verbally exited and supportive ! It's an amazing achievement and I would be proud of my friend! Well done op

UndertheCedartree · 04/02/2022 19:09

@AlternativePerspective - I agree. Those that have said they'll buy the book have probably been PMed and of course anyone interested could find the name out easily enough. It almost seems more interesting because the OP has not enlightened us to the name of the book!

MargosKaftan · 04/02/2022 19:10

I donthink its odd they didn't buy it- I do think its odd your friend would do something as massive as get their first book published, and you wouldn't have paid any attention to that to the extent that you be surprised to find the book for sale in a "real" bookshop and shocked she's having signing sessions.

I know quite a bit about my friends' new jobs. I've been excited for my friend who has set up her own pilates business even though I dont do pilates myself. When another friend landed the job she'd been training for for over a year, I was happy for her and arranged to go for a drink to celebrate, asking her all about it, even though I think it sounds an incredibly dull way to spend your life. Another friend remembered me saying I was bored at work recently, and sent me a photo she took of a job advert she'd seen and thought I'd be perfect for.

It seems so strange to be friends with someone and have no interest in their achievements, even if its an achievement you wouldn't want for yourself. The lack of interest in the OP does sound a bit like they arent equal friends.

riotlady · 04/02/2022 19:11

YANBU to want them to be supportive but I read my (at the time) boyfriend’s dad’s book and he included a sex scene between characters that were clearly based on him and his wife… couldn’t look him in the eye for a while and I would think twice now about reading a book by someone I know!

Jjjayfee · 04/02/2022 19:11

I think book choice is a very personal thing. I would only want friends who
liked my subject and style to read my book. Was it self published or did you get chosen by a publisher?

WonderfulYou · 04/02/2022 19:12

YANBU
They sound jealous. Lots of people want to publish their own books but never get round to it so I’m wondering if they’re annoyed you did it first.

I would buy and read a friend/family members book, even if it wasn’t my cup of tea as I’d want to support them and I hope they’d do the same for me.

The only way I wouldn’t support you if it was something I didn’t believe in and didn’t want to support eg conspiracy/anti/vaxx etc

Undertheoldlindentree · 04/02/2022 19:12

A close friend of mine from school has published several books. I greatly admire her ability and success with them.....but haven't bought or read any as it would feel too personal...I don't want to see into her mind as it were.

Verillion · 04/02/2022 19:13

My mum doesn’t read my books…

Roselilly36 · 04/02/2022 19:14

I would be hurt too OP. It’s a great achievement, congrats I would definitely want to read a book that a friend of mine wrote. Flowers

strawberriesarenot · 04/02/2022 19:14

@AppropriateAdult

Her husband bought her book to be supportive, folks. Because that's what you do, when someone you love has their debut out - even if you've already read it when it was a lowly Word document and there are half a dozen proof copies knocking around the house, you buy the book. Because sales numbers for most books are low enough that 20 of your family and friends buying it in the first week or two can really make a difference. They don't actually have to read it.

I'd be disappointed in that friend's response too, OP. I know only too well how difficult it is to get a novel traditionally published - it's quite possible your friend has no idea, but her response is still a bit off.

It's a wonderful achievement, and I hope it's the start of a fabulous career for you. Congratulations Flowers

It really isn't true that 20 friends and family rallying round to buy copies will make the slightest difference in mainstream publishing. Ten times that wouldn't either, because it would just look like a blip. Publishers count on getting steady sales in the hundreds from their target audiences. They will also look at where the books are selling. So if your mum and her entire WI are buying up the local Waterstones stock in your home town it will be all too apparent that this isn't anything but a one off.
nocoolnamesleft · 04/02/2022 19:16

I have previously bought a book to support a friend. Actually, I can think of 3 occasions, for 3 different friends. One was a pile of badly written cliched crap. One was well researched, but so densely turgid I couldn't finish it, which is unheard of for me. And one was okay. I'm not exactly inspired to support any more friends in their publishing endeavours. Trying to find nice things to say about their output, without outright lying, was...challenging.

burnthur5t · 04/02/2022 19:16

I would only read it if it was about something of interest. If a friend or family member wrote a book I wouldn't read it just because I know them

stuntbubbles · 04/02/2022 19:17

@LoisLane66

The OP's friends weren't interested by all accounts so no different to me being uninterested. I wouldn't fork out money to buy something simply because a friend made it or wrote it. Buying an item you don't want is foolish in the extreme...IMO BTW, a big shout out to all those who've worked hard for the past few years at whatever job they do, all without seeking recognition and applause.
Do you want to come to a party? You sound fun.
Soremama · 04/02/2022 19:21

I know someone that published a book, it’s about being a prison officer and absolutely not my cup of tea but.. I bought it and read it and said massive congratulations!

You don’t need to be justifying signings etc.. you just need new friends. I’m sorry you’re not being supported, but massive congratulations!!

blameless · 04/02/2022 19:21

To all of the authors (published or not) who have completed a book, well done.

For those who haven't, the difference between supportive friends buying a book and expecting to be given one is that the latter won't count as sales.

There may be times when a modest number of additional sales may influence a publisher to make more effort, journalists to talk about a book or someone with a social media following to mention the book.

If you can afford to buy a copy of a friend's work, please do.

MargosKaftan · 04/02/2022 19:23

@burnthur5t

I would only read it if it was about something of interest. If a friend or family member wrote a book I wouldn't read it just because I know them
OK but would you be supportive enough to not be surprised to see it in Waterstones? Would you have paid attention enough to say "well done" that they were getting great reviews from critics? Would you react with "why would anyone want a book signed by you?" To them saying they had been asked to do a signing event, not "wow well done!"

I think this thread has got bogged down in one way you could be supportive - reading /buying the book. But the OP lists 2 hurtful events in the first post that are really friends not showing any interest at all or having decided amongst themselves that "noone" would be interested in the OPs book because they arent. That's not good OP. (I bet they have you pegged as the failure in the group and aren't coping well with you being successful at something)

MissAmbrosia · 04/02/2022 19:24

I'm sure a handful of copies to close friends aren't going to affect the publisher's sales strategy.

Ziga · 04/02/2022 19:28

Congratulations OP that’s amazing!

YANBU - I’d expect my close friends to buy one - even if they didn’t read it!

PeakyBlender · 04/02/2022 19:29

I would buy it if its something I'd like.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 04/02/2022 19:30

@MissAmbrosia

The publisher isnt giving the books away.

The author gets 10 to 20 books as part of the deal.
Theyll want to keep a couple and probably give copies to parents/siblings/anyone who inspired the book or the characters.

Authors need to do a lot of self promotion. Small book launches and a saturated market mean you do a lot of your own publicity. Giving free copies away to the right people is part of the author's self promotion. That doeant happen by giving signed copies away to friends.
The author will not have enough free books to give away to friends. They would have to pay for them themselves if all their friends expected a signed copy for free.

InFiveMins · 04/02/2022 19:33

YANBU. I suspect they are jealous.

strawberriesarenot · 04/02/2022 19:38

@MissAmbrosia

I'm sure a handful of copies to close friends aren't going to affect the publisher's sales strategy.
You are right.

Nothing is going to affect the publisher's sales strategy except for reviews in the national press, consistent sales over several months, and also what comes next. Because by the time a book is in Waterstones, the draft of the next book should already be in the publisher's hands. You don't write a book and then sit around doing some knitting for a year while the Waterstones' sales figures come in.
Publishers also want businesslike authors. Ones with agents and a realistic view of the market, prepared to take editing and rewriting and advice. Getting your 20 friends to write insincere and flattering reviews on Amazon because they 'love you/are proud of you/are your mates and that's what mates do', or any other of the daft reasons quoted on this thread is disingenuous at best and dishonest in real life.
OP, if you and your book exist, for goodness sake leave your friends out of your professional life.

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