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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
AppropriateAdult · 04/02/2022 18:25

Her husband bought her book to be supportive, folks. Because that's what you do, when someone you love has their debut out - even if you've already read it when it was a lowly Word document and there are half a dozen proof copies knocking around the house, you buy the book. Because sales numbers for most books are low enough that 20 of your family and friends buying it in the first week or two can really make a difference. They don't actually have to read it.

I'd be disappointed in that friend's response too, OP. I know only too well how difficult it is to get a novel traditionally published - it's quite possible your friend has no idea, but her response is still a bit off.

It's a wonderful achievement, and I hope it's the start of a fabulous career for you. Congratulations Flowers

theleafandnotthetree · 04/02/2022 18:27

[quote psychomath]@theleafandnotthetree would you also feel it was your duty to support a friend by playing a video game they had a major part in designing (if you weren't fan of gaming), or going to watch their weird experimental monologue that lasted ten hours, or anything else you weren't particularly interested in that took just as long? I probably would read a friend's book because I like reading but not everyone does.[/quote]
For a close friend, certainly I would. I have a friend in theatre and have on occasion suffered through 'pieces' which certainly FELT 10 hours long!

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 04/02/2022 18:27

Congrats, op!! That's a fabulous accident! Can you share what your book title is?

Yanbu at all. I'd be really hurt if my firms didn't all want to read my lovely book.

Maybe they are not readers?? Can you ask them?

Ignore sourpusses on here who say you're being precious wanting your friends to share in your achievements 🙄

MakkaPakkas · 04/02/2022 18:29

Congratulations! That's amazing, I'm v. jealous!
Some people really don't read though, and some will be worried about whether they'll like it etc. I always worry that I won't be able to give a good specific compliment about people's creative endeavours and that sometimes stops me reading/listening to/ watching their work so it could be that

LoisLane66 · 04/02/2022 18:29

@JustLyra
Yes thanks, I feel fine. Y'know, if someone writes for a living it's pretty well the same as someone working Tesco tills or any other non-author job.
In my working life I used to appear in court but I didn't expect my friends to gush over my cases or ask for my signature. Being an author doesn't confer a special mantle around your shoulders.
It's a job which may or may not receive plaudits, just as any other job has its feedback. To wonder why friends aren't basking in the glow of one's achievements is narcissistic.

Stressedout1009 · 04/02/2022 18:29

Well done that's a great achievement op. I have to say your entitlement attitude does stink a bit. Why would you expect all friends and family to buy it just because they know you. It's similar to any other product, it may not be their genre or type of product Saying that, I would probably do a skim read and If it interested me I would buy it, not just because I know you. I do think your friends are rude though tp ve so dismissive to your face.b

toppkatz · 04/02/2022 18:30

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I'd avoid reading it.

After all, if it's utter drivel (not saying yours is, but I am assuming that you aren't Nadine Dorries trying to change an outing fact here), if you know I've read it, you might expect me to say how brilliant it is.

If you ask me, that bloody Nadine Dorries needs to get on with being an MP and represent her constituents in the House (and the general public in her Cabinet position) instead of fucking about writing novels.
ThistlesAndUnicorns · 04/02/2022 18:31

I wouldn't expect friends to buy my book. I would gift my closest friends a copy but also not think they HAD to read it.

Other than that, I would absolutely expect a lot of support for something I have achieved that is very important to me. Do you think they may be jealous? If someone showed me their book in Waterstones and said they had a signing I would be absolutely over the moon for them! I don't even know you and I'm chuffed for you!

JustLyra · 04/02/2022 18:31

[quote LoisLane66]@JustLyra
Yes thanks, I feel fine. Y'know, if someone writes for a living it's pretty well the same as someone working Tesco tills or any other non-author job.
In my working life I used to appear in court but I didn't expect my friends to gush over my cases or ask for my signature. Being an author doesn't confer a special mantle around your shoulders.
It's a job which may or may not receive plaudits, just as any other job has its feedback. To wonder why friends aren't basking in the glow of one's achievements is narcissistic.[/quote]
Well done, I’m glad being needlessly nasty to the Op made your day

BurntO · 04/02/2022 18:31

Aw I wouldn’t EXPECT anyone to read it. But I would hope they would want to. Sounds like you’re doing well OP Flowers

FloBot7 · 04/02/2022 18:32

A friend of my DH wrote a book. He hasn't read a book in the entire time I've known him but he has a copy of hers. I'm sorry your friends aren't so excited. I love to read so would love to be a writer but wouldn't know where to start in knowing how to write anything, let alone something worthy of publishing. Huge congratulations on your success!

heyitsthistle · 04/02/2022 18:33

Whaaaaat?? Even if it was a genre that I didn't really have an interest in, I'd at least buy a copy!

You should definitely get some new friends.

Congratulations on your publication :)

Wheresthebeach · 04/02/2022 18:35

I think you can expect excitement and congratulations but not reading. My cousin has published two books. Both Horror. I got to page 5 of her first book, and stopped. I can’t believe my adorable cousin wrote such dark stuff. We joke about it and she never expects me to read her stuff. But I’m thrilled for her.

Gilly12345 · 04/02/2022 18:40

I would be happy for you but depending on the genre would depend if I would read it.

I have been to some book signings and have enjoyed them but what kind of book have you written?

Ladywoodster · 04/02/2022 18:44

I would buy it and try to read it if I was passably interested the subject matter.
However much I like you, I might not buy it if it was about something I really wasn't interested in eg a science fiction novel or your journey to becoming a born-again Christian.

nokidshere · 04/02/2022 18:45

I think you're being a bit precious

Seriously? We have become so disconnected that wanting our friends to be happy and support us is seen as a weakness now? My friends would buy it even if they hated it simply because they are my friends (or I would have already given them a copy).

Well Done OP, fantastic achievement!

HomeHomeInTheRange · 04/02/2022 18:46

Huge Congratulations OP, invite me to your book launch and signing, I would love to come!

God how weedy and ignorant people are! A book stocked and with a signing at Waterstones is hardly some unedited self published FSM fiction and has been through very very tough quality control. It is HARD getting published!

No book will be to everyone’s taste, and is disappointing that so many people feel unable to say ‘ well dine, fantastic achievement, I enjoyed xxx but overall not my kind of book but it’s brilliant to see it so well received”.

Hopefully your success will give you a wider circle of friends who enjoy talking about books!

HomeHomeInTheRange · 04/02/2022 18:46

Fan fiction, not FSM.

ABitOfAShitShow · 04/02/2022 18:49

I would expect them to buy it but not read it. Which seems weird probably but it would show they wanted me to be successful without them having to pretend they loved it.

That said, I’ve half written 2 novels and when I finish them, I have no intention of telling people and would publish under a pseudonym.

ABitOfAShitShow · 04/02/2022 18:50

Also - congrats! It’s such a lot of hard work and an amazing achievement!

LoisLane66 · 04/02/2022 18:51

The OP's friends weren't interested by all accounts so no different to me being uninterested. I wouldn't fork out money to buy something simply because a friend made it or wrote it. Buying an item you don't want is foolish in the extreme...IMO
BTW, a big shout out to all those who've worked hard for the past few years at whatever job they do, all without seeking recognition and applause.

tearinghairout · 04/02/2022 18:53

Well done, OP! I think your friend is jealous. What's that saying about a prophet being ignored in his own country? Or maybe, familiarity breeds contempt? If it were my friend who'd been published I'd be thrilled for her!

charlotterousse · 04/02/2022 18:59

@LoisLane66

The OP's friends weren't interested by all accounts so no different to me being uninterested. I wouldn't fork out money to buy something simply because a friend made it or wrote it. Buying an item you don't want is foolish in the extreme...IMO BTW, a big shout out to all those who've worked hard for the past few years at whatever job they do, all without seeking recognition and applause.
A big shout out to all those generous, warm people who take honest pleasure in others' achievements and who don't feel the need to cattily put strangers in their place on the Internet.
Livelovebehappy · 04/02/2022 19:00

It’s a great achievement but I really wouldn’t expect people to buy it or read it. I’d mention it to people and would leave with them as to whether they wanted to. I love reading, but only a certain genre of books, so just wouldn’t read something that would bore the socks off me.

erinaceus · 04/02/2022 19:00

Congratulations on getting your first book published. Sincerely, that is a massive achievement. You have already done something many people only dream of.

However, I don't think you can reasonably expect people you know to buy and read your book. Getting a book published is a career milestone in some sense, and whilst one is pleased for one's friends' career milestones, it cannot be expected that they spend some hours of effort on them IYSWIM. I think if you really feel you need someone to read your book you need to get a copy to them and request that they read it. Otherwise, just enjoy your success and your book signing!

I've read a couple of my friends' published books and I found the experience pretty cringe, largely because you can hear the author's voice in the writing and somehow when I know them this aspect is excruciating, however good the writing is.

Again, congratulations, don't let your friends' lack of interest take away from your broader critical acclaim, and get going on your next mission Grin