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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
womaninatightspot · 04/02/2022 18:03

[quote Itsalmostanaccessory]@womaninatightspot

What if 15 of your friends started a small business/wrote a book/performed in a play.

At what point is it ok to say that you dont have the time or money to be involved in, read, buy, go and see whatever it is they are doing?[/quote]
Luckily I'm fairly antisocial; it'd never happen :)

JustLyra · 04/02/2022 18:04

I think that’s really sad, and poor on the friends.

I mean unless your book is some ££££ tech book or the likes it’s just not really on.

One of our friends has written three fiction books. None really my taste but we’ve bought them.

Another wrote a children’s book quite a few years ago. We got one for each of our kids that was signed. We always joked it was in case it took off like Harry Potter or the Gruffalo then we had multiple to flog (obviously we never would).

peachgreen · 04/02/2022 18:05

YANBU. I bought about a dozen copies of my friend's first book and I'm flying to another country for the launch of her second!

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 04/02/2022 18:06

I would, and have, bought books written by a friend. It's harder to read them than to buy them though. I have a subscription to Scribd and one friend has audio books on there, so sometimes I start one running on my computer and let it go the whole way through without listening to it (I think she gets some revenue for that).

Ishouldreallybeonholiday · 04/02/2022 18:07

My friend is about to publish and I already know that I won't read it. I might buy it and flick through few pages but the genre is something that doesn't take my interest. I will be very proud of her of course but that's just how it is.

stuntbubbles · 04/02/2022 18:07

Why didn't you give them a free signed copy. Thats what I would expect from a friend.
As has been explained multiple times on the thread, authors get very few free copies• and they’re there for marketing purposes. The free copies are a contractual obligation and form part of the benefits – beyond the advance – of the deal. Asking for a free book is like asking someone for a bit of their cycle to work scheme, or a go in their subsidised canteen.

•Except my Spanish deal, weirdly, which gave me 80 copies. All my friends and everyone on this thread can have a free Spanish edition Grin

wheresHP · 04/02/2022 18:07

YABU. It's amazing you've got a book published but it's unreasonable to expect friends and family to buy something just because you were in involved. I don't buy much unless I have a genuine need/desire/interest- I've not got unlimited money. I absolutely hate the expectation friends have to buy things they wouldn't otherwise buy to show 'support'. Make and market a product so good people want to buy it, don't guilt trip others into buying something just because! If you really want their feedback /admiration give them a free copy!
A relative produced a product and I did end up buying it as a gift. It's not really my thing so I wouldn't buy it otherwise.

Rubytoos · 04/02/2022 18:11

I really feel for you as I know how hard it is to get that book over the line. I was and remain incredibly surprised that my book has not been bought by any of my immediate family. I’m in a walking group and was telling the walk leader about the book and he went out and bought it and gave me a 5 star review. I’ve no idea if he read it or not, but it made me even sadder that my family hadn’t bothered.

catwomando · 04/02/2022 18:12

If I was your friend I'd buy it, get my friends to buy it and shamelessly plug it and tell you how brilliant you are. That what we do for people we care for. Even if it is the dietary whatevers of monks. It's just the friendly thing to do.

Congratulations on your book. I hope I get to read it Smile

TheGoldenWolfFleece · 04/02/2022 18:12

*A business which requires your friends to do this isnt a viable business.

I'm a small business owner (day job) and writer.

I manage both without involving my friends.*

So you don't think it's nice if your friends give at least a little bit of a shit about things that are important to you? Wow. Weird.

charlotterousse · 04/02/2022 18:13

I have mixed views. I've published two books with a third in the pipeline, and both have been well received critically. I would never expect people I know to read them - perhaps they aren't big readers, perhaps my books aren't their cup of tea, whatever. But I do expect people to respect the fact that my writing is a real job and it takes skill and hard work. I've had a few dismissive and patronising responses over the years, the most incredible one coming when my book was shortlisted for a major prize. The man I was dating at the time didn't even congratulate me. Instead he told me all about the time he'd got an A* in his GCSE creative writing coursework and emailed it to me on the spot for my feedback. Then he was aggrieved when I didn't wax enthusiastic about this school essay he'd produced ten years earlier. As a previous poster said, I think it's partly envy, coupled with lack of insight into what writing for publication actually involves. I just bite my tongue and say nothing. When you get annoyed it helps to think of all the strangers who will have enjoyed and been touched by your book.

RonMaelDancing · 04/02/2022 18:16

I agree with the poster who talked about her other friends' businesses. I've got friends who are actors on TV. I don'y watch all their work. I know musicians whose gigs I don't go to because it's not a genre I like. I'm friends with a playwright and I've never seen one of her plays. I know 3 writers and I've only bought one of their books because it was something I wanted to read about. I am friends with artists and bakers and dentists and massage therapists and solicitors and gardeners and cleaners and music teachers and god knows who else. I'm not their customer just because I am their friend.

I make and sell jewellery. I'm really proud of it. I don't expect my friends to buy it as an obligation to me unless it was something they particularly wanted. That would be weird and entitled. Why is your book any different? We're all proud of our work and our achievements. It doesn't compel our friends to support us financially.

cherish123 · 04/02/2022 18:16

I would read a friend's book but I wouldn't expect all.your friends will.

LoisLane66 · 04/02/2022 18:16

Prob chick lit. Not my type of reading anyway and I buy from Amazon. Much cheaper. Why would I want anyone's signature? (rolls eyes)

Talith · 04/02/2022 18:16

Get used to it is all I can say! It would be nice if people did but honestly it's just not something most people, however loving will actually get around to doing. Taste in books is a very personal thing and we are all so time poor even reading the books that really appeal to us can take time! And wouldn't you rather people read something because they wanted to based on the content as opposed to feeling like they had to? Chin up though, it's a great achievement so bloody well done xxx

stuntbubbles · 04/02/2022 18:17

@LoisLane66 Why the assumption that it’s chick lit and why the snobbery around chick lit?

Blufandango · 04/02/2022 18:18

Congratulations, I'd read your book if I was your friend

JustLyra · 04/02/2022 18:19

@LoisLane66

Prob chick lit. Not my type of reading anyway and I buy from Amazon. Much cheaper. Why would I want anyone's signature? (rolls eyes)
What on Earth do people get out of coming onto threads just to be horrible to the OP?

Do you feel better now? Brightened your day by being needlessly snide?

MargaretThursday · 04/02/2022 18:20

@Wheelz46 I was being tongue in cheek when I wrote it.

... However someone sent me a PM, I assume by mistake, asking for details on my book so they could get a copy, and there's a few others said they'll buy one, so they may make a few sales.

Unfortunately I don't have a book which I could sell to them.

SpongebobsPants · 04/02/2022 18:20

This actually fills me with hope! I've been scribbling away at this and that for years, but am very much of the 'write what you know' mindset (well, within reason), so I have a mental block about writing some stuff in case I offend friends/family members. But if they aren't going to read it ... Grin

But, being serious, I would be a bit hurt too. I would be really proud of any friend who had a book published and would be happily bragging about them to all and sundry.

StrychnineIntheSandwiches · 04/02/2022 18:21

@LoisLane66

Prob chick lit. Not my type of reading anyway and I buy from Amazon. Much cheaper. Why would I want anyone's signature? (rolls eyes)
tbh you do sound like someone who'd take great delight on shitting on a friend's excitement over an achievement. a true frenemy.
peboh · 04/02/2022 18:21

I have several author friends, and happily read any and all books they bring out. However they write books in a style and genre I enjoy, and seek out anyway. Also we met due to a love of reading and/or writing ... so it kind of just goes hand in hand.
I'm trying my hand at writing a book this year, but I would never ask or expect my friends to read it unless they wanted to. It might not be their thing, they might have other things that they feel they'd rather spend their money on and that's totally cool.

rookiemere · 04/02/2022 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Campfirewood · 04/02/2022 18:24

I run a business (not MLM) and decided on day 1 not to care if my friends bought from it. Some have, some show support through sharing it with their friends and in other ways. But I have zero expectations. As long as they support you more generally, then let it go. Congrats on the book by the way!

DiddyHeck · 04/02/2022 18:25

YABU to start a thread and not come back.

Hardly the sign of budding author Wink 😂