Words that Don’t Exist Outside of Tabloid Newspapers

[AuntyJanet]

Just that really, what words appear in the tabloid press but are never used by people in everyday life.

I’ll start with:

Revellers
Tottered
Hit-maker

I was about to say Tot, as in small child. It is German for dead, pronounced tote.

Hero, a man who did a good thing.

Blaze, never just a fire

‘Smouldering’
‘Sets the record straight’
‘Laid down a marker’
‘Steps out with’
‘Kardashian’

Nobody speaks like this in real life, so the tabloids must run training courses to teach reporters how to write this stuff.

Sporting
Baby bump

As in "minor b list celeb stepped out sporting her trim baby bump"

Flaunted

I mean, wtf

Burgeoning bump

And often celebs are ‘flaunting or showcasing their burgeoning bump’ by just going out whilst pregnant

'Teamed'

Side boob

''Fans go wild"
"Effortlessly chic"

‘New beau’

It’s already been said but ‘boffins’. I hate it. It’s so derogatory.

Cops.

Describing a woman merely inhabiting her own body :…. She smouldered. She put on a leggy/busty display. She stunned in a low cut black dress

‘Welcomed a baby’ ie gave birth

Beach body

Derriere
Revealed - always some boring sleb snippet

In the 80’s it was always ‘bonking/bonked’

Plunging neckline

I love thinking of ways to use tabloid words in totally the wrong way, like ‘evil tot caged.’

Stunned onlookers. (A passerby that wonders wtf is going on)

X shows Y what he's missing, as she flaunted her curves frolicking in the beach

Dubbed. (Only by the paper, no one else calls them whatever it is)

Blasted
Slapped (with parking fine)

And everything else posted already

I forgot

Crisis talks - especially flying from in for crisis talks

Ample assets

Flaunts.
Flashes.
Sports.
Wows.
Displays.
Pins.
Tresses.
Locks.
Doting (mother)
Well turned ankle.

‘Showcased’, as in ‘Showcased her ample curves in a tiny bikini’, which actually means ‘Woman went to beach’.

‘Sex pest’