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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

another mosschops holiday dilemma thread ....is dh being unreasonable again?

67 replies

mosschops30 · 30/12/2007 16:10

ok so some of you may have seen the disney thread, but we finally arrived at the fact that dh wasnt going to go, he agreed for somewhere like majorca/algarve etc.

Anyway as usual my mum is stumping up 2k for our family holiday.
Although last night she put a spanner in the works by asking if she could come with us
dh wasnt keen and neither was I, although for america it might have worked I think that 2 weeks in majorca with my mum would have been too much for all of us.

So I explain that to her today and then she asks if I would consider going away with her to Cyprus in March for a week, all paid just so she can have a holiday (dad is not well enough to travel).

now dh being all moody and I have said its either she comes with us for 2 weeks or we have our 2 weeks alone and I go with her for an extra week.

AIBU??

OP posts:

Original poster

mosschops30 · 30/12/2007 22:18

Love the 'do away with your mum' comment do you mean 'go away'

cheeset you are spot on with my dad, its always been like that, when I was young my mum would buy me nice jeans or trainers and tell him they were a fiver on the market because he would think that more acceptable.

I do understand what you are saying about taking mum away but it really would make for a stressful holiday, me and dh are at loggerheads when she comes to stay for a week. He says we're unbearable together

dh went away for a week with his brother and I have no problem with him doing that or similar again.

I have decided to try and sort some childcare out to help dh out whilst I'm away so it doesnt fall in his lap (although he would never think of doing that for me if he goes away) then am going to book for me and mum in cyprus.

I'm sorry a lot of you think I'm a spoilt bitch, maybe your family dynamics are different to mine. Although I would never go on holiday with dh's mother if she paid for all of it and was to the best resort ever, it just wouldnt be a holiday

OP posts:

melinda · 30/12/2007 22:22

And it's not stressful for her???!!!!
She's struggling to care for a seriously ill husband. She has always been a fantastic mother to you, yet this is how you repay her. It makes me feel really, really sad. It honestly does.
I think you should give the money back right now. Your dp is a waste of space with absolutely no self-respect or respect for anyone else if he will grab at your mother's money for his luxury holidays, but reject her when she really needs her family. It is grotesque.
Tell her to save her money. Give it to the dogs home.
Blimey, talk about sharper than a serpent's tooth.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 30/12/2007 22:25

Thanks for that melinda I have no desire to get into an argument with you.
She doesnt give us money to do with as we please, she asks if we would like soemthing to put towards a holiday.
As for your opinion of my dh, he doesnt ask for the money, he would happily go without it and go camping, he's not that bothered about a holiday (whereas my mother considers it a nessecity)
Oh and BTW we dont have 'luxury' holidays unless you class a 3* apartment in menorca as luxury? Its just a normal holiday

OP posts:

melinda · 30/12/2007 22:26

Then don't grab her cash with one hand and push her away with the other. It is simply immoral.

pinetreedog · 30/12/2007 22:26

steady on, melinda

melinda · 30/12/2007 22:27

Whatever. If you all think it's a decent, kind humane thing to do, fine. Greed is good.

pinetreedog · 30/12/2007 22:30

Greed is not good. But there are maybe all sorts of relationship dynamics going on here that are far more important than the money issue. I don't really know and neither do you.

hatrick · 30/12/2007 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mosschops30 · 30/12/2007 22:32

Lets not get personal you dont know me, my dh, my mother or father so you can keep those sorts of opinions to yourself.
I do lots for my mum and dad even though theyre miles away and it doesnt always have to be about money sometimes you just have to be there and I am always and they know that.

OP posts:

Original poster

mosschops30 · 30/12/2007 22:32

I totally agree hatrick

OP posts:

Staceym11PipersPiping · 30/12/2007 22:52

i dont know you or your family or the dynamics, but i would say your dh is being selfish.

regardless of the fact that he hasn't asked for the money, he has accepted it. and for 2k i think that 2 weeks with your MIL is a small price to pay!

but as i say i dont know the situation but i know how i feel accepting money off myparents. of which they have no need for and we do, but it still makes me feel odd!!

i think the best solution would be your last, book your extra holiday with your mum and sort some form of childcare out for dh while you're away.

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 30/12/2007 23:12

My Last word on the subject....

Don't post on MN...unless you want the brutal truth....

Original poster

mosschops30 · 30/12/2007 23:14

brutal truth fine, personal attcks not fine!

OP posts:

ScottishMummy · 30/12/2007 23:33

thing is mosschops money inevitably makes you indebted as you chose to accept so you too are indebted. You get nowt for owt - the money was given with expectation of behavior/outcome

hunkermunker · 31/12/2007 17:24

I wouldn't consider a 3* apartment in Menorca luxury, but it's more of a holiday than I've had for seven years.

I do think you're being spoilt about it. I do understand why your mum gives you money without your dad knowing though.

LolaTheShowgirl · 04/01/2008 10:53

I don't wish to stick my ore in but don't get all personal and unkind melinda, I think that was uncalled for.

fireflyfairy2 · 04/01/2008 10:55

Have you decided yet mosschops?

We were all goin on a group holiday, myself, dh, our 2 kids & my sisters' & their families.

Last night one family pulled out as they said the flights were too expensive... my betting is that the other family will pull out too....

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