To ask if you are a 'housewife' with no children?

[crochetmonkey74]

I know the term housewife is outdated so first off apologies.
I've always wondered about this , I had a great aunt and uncle who never had children but she never worked. I've always been interested in how this would be (been a bit of a fantasy of mine)
Do any of you have this life ? What is it like?

I don't get bored as a housewife. My DH received a generous military pension and we decided it would be lovely to spend our declining years together. I had worked part-time up to then, no children, but I train and work my gundogs (season has just finished). I meet similar friends a couple of times a week, and all domestic matters are my responsibility. It's a five bedroom, three bathroom house, as we used to have lots of visitors. I keep my state pension contributions up to date, and I have never been patronised by anyone working.

I was for two years before having kids. Loved it - had an allotment and due to the time, I kept us pretty self sufficient in veg for the year, had chickens so had eggs year round. With the extra time I could run the house 'properly' i.e. dealt with all financial/admin stuff, cleaned it properly regularly, planned meals/shopping and had time to do budget saving things like preserving food, making curtains rather than buying. Thriftiness I find takes up lots of time.
Whilst I did love it, it was luxurious as well. I was never bored but now that I have kids I can do most of the above and work.
Very 1950s comment but my husband also benefited as he only had to think about work!

I always think I'd love to have the time to keep the house spotless and be on top of all housework, maintenance etc but in reality I'd probably leave all that and just spend my time watching TV or shopping. I don't know anyone who is a housewife, there are women who stay at home and their DC have already moved out but they've all started a self-employed business so maybe that's what tends to happen?

@ZoeTheThornyDevil

A household containing two adults doesn't really take all that much "running". You're either going to be sitting on your arse most of the time, or generating unneeded busywork. But it's in no way a FT "job".

What a ridiculous generalisation.

I can see why this was a thing back in the days before vacuum cleaners, washing machines and steam irons, and when people needed to make and mend their own clothes. It would have been a full time job, back in those days. Nowadays there is simply no need because houses do not take as much upkeep.

I'd quite like this. I have a raft of unfinished diy/decorating projects that I could easily fill in half a week doing, bit of housework, lots of walks with an audiobook, maybe I would get a dog.

I'd need my own money though. No way would I put myself in that position and rely solely on dhs wages. Maybe an inheritance or lottery win or something.

I’d enjoy spitting, ie working maybe just a couple of days a week and being a house wife the remainder of the time. Couldn’t be at home seven days a week. I’d be bored with just doing housework and stuff.

Of course I don’t enjoy ‘spitting’! Should say splitting.

Depends on the house, and your standards.

If you did absolutely everything (laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping, life admin, garden etc) and wanted your evenings completely free, you could easily spend all day. Especially if you held regular dinner parties and so on.

Plus, in your great aunt's time there was probably less mechanical help, no food processors, electric whisks, or even washing machines.

This is my dream. Win the lottery, quit work, foster cats.

And with no purpose and no autonomy

Quite the opposite of this surely @thepeopleversuswork

@TheViewFromTheCheapSeats

I’m always bemused with the ‘I don’t know how you’d fill your time’ comments and find it a little depressing. The idea that you need a job or you are purposeless.

I only work a little, I have more time nowadays. I have read books I always wanted to, developed painting, read university courses I could never attend, met friends I never saw, seen museums and art, walked in beautiful places, helped in scouting and camps, spent time with family more, grown plants, educated the children….huge list

I think ‘how would you fill your time?’ is completely beside the point. The point is why would you potter and do domestic makework and hobbies while someone else supports this economically through their labour?

If you've got enough money and the time to do exactly what you want how can you be bored?
Although I love my job I'd give it upon an instant if I could still carry on getting my salary.
Why do some posters think that you have to sit at home all day if you don't go out to work?

I am, although it's only been in the last couple of years. I had a really good career in the City and stopped working last year. I'm 52. No kids. My DH still works largely from home but then work and business is very much "his thing"! He founded and then sold a very successful business (financial services) and we live off the income. Despite being on MN at 8.45 in the morning (!!) I have a full and rewarding life. Yes I look after the house, but we also have dogs who I walk twice a day and I work out with a PT. I am also studying with the OU which I spend a few hours on most days. When we were working we hardly ever travelled but now we go away quite a lot. I also volunteer with a local charity. I suppose I may go back to work in the future but at the moment I am really enjoying life.

@Livelovebehappy

I’d enjoy spitting, ie working maybe just a couple of days a week and being a house wife the remainder of the time. Couldn’t be at home seven days a week. I’d be bored with just doing housework and stuff.

Can you really not think of anything else you’d enjoy doing?

I'm going to be one from next week .My two young adult sons have just moved out to pursue their studies .I only worked part time until a few years ago as when the kids were young . I had no after school daycare and the kids were home every day at midday from school .One of my sons had learning difficulties and needed extra help which I did every day for years on end.My husband travelled 80 per cent of the time since and was basically never home and when he was he worked long hours .I ran everything .I eventually had to give up work for a number of issues five years ago , one being that I am no longer able to work as a nurse as I have a a physical disability after an operation. From next week there will be just me and my husband and I am so looking forward to it .I have never been bored 'at home' .There is always something to do and its going to be great!

I read a lot of between the wars, middle brow sort of novels (think Diary of a Provincial Lady) and they all have this sort of life. I daydream about it too If there are children, they get packed off to boarding school!

I think I could easily fill my days - house would be beautifully decorated and clean, baking and cooking from scratch, growing all sorts in the garden, reading, knitting, sewing, the dog would get 3 hours walk a day. I just need to find the husband to pay for it all!

Isn’t it just being unemployed?

My husband earns probably 10x as much as me and enables me to have a very nice life where I am not worried about money. I earn a pittance as a PhD student and when I graduate I’ll be working in a very poorly paid field too.

My husband regularly tells me that I do so much for him, that he feels bad that I take on so much of the ‘mental load’ sorting out all our bills, keeping track of the finances, planning all our meals, looking after the dog. He often tells me he feels like he has it easier than me and that I enable him to do his job (which he is lucky enough to really enjoy).

We both feel like we have a very good deal being with each other, which is how it should be. So all the responses saying it’s cheeky and unfair to ‘live off’ a partner are really bothering me. Paid work isn’t the only work that matters.

This is me, although I do have an 8 year old DS. I haven't worked for 20 years so don't class myself as a SAHM as I'd be home regardless.

I have autism and don't cope well working. I've done it in the past but was constantly battling to keep my mental health well. Eventually I couldn't and it all began to fall apart. DH was so worried that he told me to quit. So I did and I've never gone back.

I potter around the house all day. Jobs takes me substantially longer than other people because of my disability. So actually I think I probably do a lot less than most people, even though it takes me just as long.

I'm in this position now (although had 2 DCs 20+ years ago) having given up work to be an unpaid carer for 17 years. When I look at the lives of my working childless friends it's clear that they are paying for outside help to do alot of the jobs that I do myself - cleaners, gardeners, car washing, decorating, hello fresh/gusto....... So basically working to pay for services!
Pre Covid I had a number of voluntary roles which haven't returned yet. I do gym workouts 3 times a week as well as doing all the housework, shopping, admin. This has enabled DH to concentrate on his career. I will have a small pension from previous employment in a couple of year's time plus full state pension at 67 (NI contributions paid due to claiming carers allowance) so won't be entirely dependent on DHs pension.
I will admit that the winter months are a little boring but spring/summer is great.
I didn't choose this life - circumstances dictated - but I think DH would find it difficult to adjust to helping out around the house now if I got a job.

I have a close family member with a house husband.
They run the house, do most domestic chores including shopping, washing ,cleaning , budget,sorting accounts, looking at utility bills insurances etc
Garden
Support elderly relative
Dog
Many hobbies
It frees time for the working partner who can then exercise, do hobbies , socialise etc rather than spend time away from work doing chores.
It suits them, they have quite a large property and can afford their lifestyle with out lavish expenditure on holidays , cars etc.
They are busy.

The point is why would you potter and do domestic makework and hobbies while someone else supports this economically through their labour?

Maybe because the ‘someone else’ makes enough money that you mutually agree it isn’t worth you working too, when you would both have a nicer quality of life if you didn’t work and had more time to take care of household stuff?

Yes I’m at home with no children here (uni). I worked when the children were small and now I am in my 40’s and I love being a housewife, I don’t get bored as I have plenty to do.I take courses and every so often do some online projects. I walk the dog,see my family and friends and have a very appreciative Husband who loves having me home.
We are a partnership and it works for us.

@FirewomanSam

My husband earns probably 10x as much as me and enables me to have a very nice life where I am not worried about money. I earn a pittance as a PhD student and when I graduate I’ll be working in a very poorly paid field too.

My husband regularly tells me that I do so much for him, that he feels bad that I take on so much of the ‘mental load’ sorting out all our bills, keeping track of the finances, planning all our meals, looking after the dog. He often tells me he feels like he has it easier than me and that I enable him to do his job (which he is lucky enough to really enjoy).

We both feel like we have a very good deal being with each other, which is how it should be. So all the responses saying it’s cheeky and unfair to ‘live off’ a partner are really bothering me. Paid work isn’t the only work that matters.

But you’re a student, working towards a doctorate. Presumably you will contribute financially once you have a job after your doctorate?