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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you are a 'housewife' with no children?

999 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 02/02/2022 07:28

I know the term housewife is outdated so first off apologies.
I've always wondered about this , I had a great aunt and uncle who never had children but she never worked. I've always been interested in how this would be (been a bit of a fantasy of mine)
Do any of you have this life ? What is it like?

OP posts:
110APiccadilly · 02/02/2022 08:09

My husband technically used to qualify I suppose, but the reality was that we'd bought a house that was very much a doer upper, and he was doing the doing up!

My mum isn't employed and my siblings and I have now left home, but she's nearly retirement age so probably not really the sort of person you're thinking of. She home-schooled us so worked pretty hard when we were kids, even though it wasn't paid. She does quite a bit of helping homeschooling families that she knows and also writes books (published but she doesn't make much out of them!) I think if I were in that position then like my mum I'd need to have a hobby/ volunteering or something. Or live on and run a smallholding!

Frauhubert · 02/02/2022 08:10

My auntie is a childless housewife. My uncle is running a business, and she is running after him. I suppose that way he can run the business better and it works for her benefit too. They have been together for 35 years and obviously there has been endless judgment coming her way. It looks like they are happy though and it works for them.

dworky · 02/02/2022 08:10

If running a household is 'doing nothing', why do people employ housekeepers?

Aderyn21 · 02/02/2022 08:11

Tbh I think it would be a nice life - I never understand the assumption that people will be bored if not for their job - lots of jobs are also boring. To have the time and money to do what you please must be lovely. I'd find loads to do.
But a house with 2 adults and no one else at home, is hardly going to take much running and it seems unfair on the person working ft who's paying for it all. Unless the sahp has done many years of child rearing and has lost their career because of it or sacrificed their own career to travel lots in support of the other partner (like diplomats partners) or is project managing a massive renovation project. But just going out to lunch or the gym all the time feels a bit unbalanced in terms of fairness.

Bitofachinwag · 02/02/2022 08:12

@SnotRags

I have a house elf. Works out really well as he just gets on with shit without questioning anything. Only issue we have is when some bastard goes and gives it a sock. We’ve lost two now, currently on our 3rd but if anyone comes over we lock it in the cupboard.
It 's in the attic
FirewomanSam · 02/02/2022 08:12

I know a few women who’ve done this for a few years, although not long-term as they have all had children eventually. Most of them seemed to have major home renovation projects going on at the time, where managing all the work involved was basically a full time job in itself.

I think all the comments about being bored shitless and having nothing to do are a bit OTT though. I’ve had a few periods between jobs where I haven’t worked for a month or two and I’m always surprised by how easily the time fills up. I reckon I could quite happily fill my days with household chores, working out, hobbies, leisure activities, and seeing friends and family. I wouldn’t be bored in the slightest. It’s not the life I’d choose for myself right now but I can totally see how someone could do it and have a lovely life.

shadesofrose · 02/02/2022 08:13

I wanted to be but clung onto my job.
Then after I had dc I went back to work ft because everyone said I'd be bored at home as I was very career orientated. But work was so utterly dull when I had a baby at home that I'd rather be having fun with so I became a sahm and was sooooo much fun.

I am now pt but still far more happier than when I worked ft, I feel so much more free going about planning things I'd like to do without things like annual leave going on childcare only. I wish so much I'd done it when I was child free as my dh was happy for me to. I think of all the holidays I could have gone on and all the hobbies I could have fulfilled when I was easily able to up and leave whenever.

I also volunteered when I was a sahm and maybe also had a nanny. Depends on what your life would look like if you give up working I think. I personally can't understand what's so fun about work that makes people say life would be boring without it. But I think maybe I work in a boring sector.

SnotRags · 02/02/2022 08:13

It won’t go in the attic because of the pigeons

PeeAche · 02/02/2022 08:14

I could definitely sit at home all day while my DH went out to work. But he would need to earn enough that I never felt bored.

I'd have so many hobbies. And I'd meet other women like me for long lunches. I'd talk for hours about tedious bullshit like my outfit. And eat cake. But I'd be slim, because that would be the only thing I'd focus on.

I'd probably have Instagram and Pinterest.

I would do all the things I never have time to do. I would take baths. There is no way I couldn't fill my time if I had enough money.

Alas, I am not child free and I work full time. When I take a shower, I clean the tiles while I'm in there. I don't even know how to single task anymore.

Suprima · 02/02/2022 08:15

I certainly wouldn’t be ‘bored’ if I didn’t work.

I would cook, I would paint, I would finish my novel. I would do DIY and gardening. I’d learn a language, or do a hobby degree. I’d volunteer. I’d have a members ticket for every museum in town.

I’m really not enjoying my job at the moment and I would be a lot less ‘bored’ at home. I’m really looking forward to starting my mat leave early and being the housewife with no kids (yet).

Only boring people get bored Grin

BatshitCrazyWoman · 02/02/2022 08:15

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

I always wonder on threads like this how people will cope when they retire.
Quite.

I'll be retiring in a couple of years, and have a lot of plans. I'm never bored, and have a lot of interests.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/02/2022 08:18

I honestly don't believe the 'I'd be bored responses.' It's an anonymous forum, so I'm not sure why it's written - jealousy, defensiveness? Or do those posters just have zero hobbies? What will they do when they retire?
Anyway; I'd, obviously love it. My house would be spotless, my garden bountiful, would cook glorious meals, I'd be fit as a fiddle, I'd read, I'd learn the piano, volunteer.

Pembertonrd · 02/02/2022 08:19

I’m retired.
I’m gloriously lazy. Rarely get up before 9.
It’s great.

I learn french, badly, walk the dog and have proper long walks with friends twice a week, constantly sorting out aged parents problems, eg yesterday took an hour to organise a new bus pass for dm as she had lost it. Also on phone to different family members regularly.
I spend too much time on sm.
I food shop, dh does gardening, he cuts and stacks logs.
We eat about 7pm.
I’ve got lots of decorating to do this year.

In nice weather we go out a lot. With friends, on our own.

Aderyn21 · 02/02/2022 08:20

Alas, I am not child free and I work full time. When I take a shower, I clean the tiles while I'm in there. I don't even know how to single task anymore

This made me laugh! So true - I also can't remember what it's like to go for a bath and not clean or mop or load the machine with laundry first!

Pahahahahahahahee · 02/02/2022 08:20

Why do people assume if you don't go out to work you rely on your partner? Lots of people are financially independent and have chosen not to work

user1497787065 · 02/02/2022 08:21

I have this life, well almost. I was made redundant in 2020, had a few interviews and then decided I was not going to do
A job I didn't want to do. Actually DH mooted the idea.

So I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc

DH has a business whereby he works 50-60 hours a week over six days and hasn't taken any time off since 2019.

This works for us and there is a lot to be said for a simple life. Because I am not working we don't spend anything like we did before. No commuting costs, far more time to meal plan and shop and less general wastefulness.

This used to be normal but now anyone not doing paid work is treated like a second class citizen. They must be lazy and 'bored'. This usually is said by people who would love this life, can't have it and feel the need to put down those who have chosen it.

Wavypurple · 02/02/2022 08:22

This is my dream to be honest.

We have no children but both have to work. I’d love to stay at home and potter about all day and study/volunteer.

notanothertakeaway · 02/02/2022 08:23

I'm sure I could fill the time, but it would feel self-indulgent pottering around at home expecting someone else to support me financially

I much prefer a more even relationship

thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 02/02/2022 08:23

One of my old schoolmates is a housewife. She’s in her 40s now and has literally never worked, as she married young. She seems very happy and will often make little jibes about those of us who have to work. I don’t know if she is child free by choice or not.

ApolloandDaphne · 02/02/2022 08:24

I don't work and my DC are grown up. I am doing a part time degree just for fun and I have a dog I walk as well as hobbies and some voluntary work I do. I keep myself busy and running the house is bottom of my list of things to do! It is great.

Wanttosleepproperlyplease · 02/02/2022 08:25

I would quite happily do this. As it is I am the main earner at the moment while DP finishes his PHD and works part time and short teaching contracts so it could never happen if we wanted to pay the mortgage.

I love a clean tidy home and I would make time to do all the jobs that, when working FT, only get done very occasionally, like stuff that requires pulling out the furniture. I would also bake, take my time cooking meals, organise home improvement projects (our house is a fixer upper and still needs lots of work), a bit of painting and light DIY, tend to my garden.

I expect I wouldn’t suffer from insomnia like I do now - I always sleep better when I am on Annual Leave!

P0ntiacBandit · 02/02/2022 08:25

My neighbour is childfree and doesn't work. She is busier than I am. She always has projects and things to do and is always reading and learning new skills. It works for them and they're happy.

Sally872 · 02/02/2022 08:25

I could fill my time very nicely would not be a problem. Having this daydream now Smile

I think I would try more options when cooking. Keep house clean and tidy. See friends for coffee or walks. Walk myself. Read a bit more. Daily yoga is something I try every Jan then cant keep it going. Probably some other sort of exercise ideally at a gym that includes a sauna/jacuzzi etc. I would like to learn to sew and to bake/cake decorate. Plan holidays.

But i don't know anyone who is housewife and no children so no idea what happens in real life.

Zonder · 02/02/2022 08:25

You would run the household.
Downton style?

Porcupineintherough · 02/02/2022 08:26

@stuntbubbles

dusting and polishing Tuesday That takes you up to 9.30am, perhaps 10am if you’ve had a lie-in. You’d need something to fill the rest of the day – and enough money to do so if you don’t want to be stuck at home. You need a project and a purpose. (Pushing a hoover around is neither.)
Dont see that. If I were to dust every room in my house that would take me most of the morning and I dont have a massive house. Maybe in depends how many flat surfaces you have and how much clutter?