Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:
Lulu1919 · 01/02/2022 06:40

I'd feel the same ....
But there is nothing you can do ...her choice ....
Keep that smile in place
Sending you an understanding hug

Sandinmyknickers · 01/02/2022 06:40

Well you did raise a completely separate human being.. kids are their own people and not little mini me's you can control

AuntieJoyce · 01/02/2022 06:41

I’ve had my tatts for 30 years. I still love them.

I said to my kids knock yourself out but the only people who should see them are your nearest and dearest and other package holiday makers

It’s worked so far Grin

Somersetlady · 01/02/2022 06:41

I think you are getting a hard time on here OP.

Cry all you like and be sad about it. That is your prerogative and do not let anybody tell you otherwise!

I understand as I wouldn’t want to see my children mutilate their body in this way either but your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions.

ThirdElephant · 01/02/2022 06:42

I get it, OP. Mine are still tiny, so tattoos are a long way off, but I'll be a bit upset too if one of them decides to permanently cover their perfect skin with someone else's drawings. Not that there's anything you can do about it, and you seem to recognise that, but in private it's fine to feel sad.

pilates · 01/02/2022 06:44

I totally understand all you have said op.

Badnightguaranteed · 01/02/2022 06:44

Yanbu op. I’d be devastated too.

Guineapigssweak · 01/02/2022 06:45

I totally understand you OP. My daughter has a large one on her back and it is awful! I myself had one done when I was in my 30s and that too is awful although much much smaller than my daughter's. If my daughter had a sleeve done I would be really upset . Not all tattoos are nice and lots look hideous!

twoladsnow · 01/02/2022 06:45

@Nandakanda

I think they look absolutely awful - so unattractive, especially on women.

All this nonsense about self-expression. What do they express exactly?

"Individuality"
Darbs76 · 01/02/2022 06:46

You’re welcome to feel that way, but of course she’s an adult and it’s her choice. There’s definitely worse things she could be doing

FindingMeno · 01/02/2022 06:47

You've got to let go and let her live her life.
If she is happy, be happy for her.

Allycott · 01/02/2022 06:47

@HangoverSquare

You don't have to like them, not at all, you just have to accept that it's her body and she may continue to keep getting more and more tattoos.

I do think the trend for extreme tattooing means there are going to be bigger tattoo regrets in years to come, certainly not as easy to hide a sleeve as it is to hide a dolphin on your bum, but that's her concern.

The dolphin on the bum is MY tattoo! Have you been peeking? 😁😁😁🙁🙁🙁
TamTamChew · 01/02/2022 06:48

@HarlanPepper

Maybe that’s what people with a lot of tattoos like to think, but believe me people do talk behind their backs. I’m around young men so I do know how they view young women with a lot of tattoos and in general it’s not as someone they want as a potential wife or mother of their kids - unless they’re heavily tattooed and into an alternative lifestyle themselves. They usually see them as “easy” or a someone to be used for fun. That’s the reality.

I’m not talking about a small tattoo here but full sleeves or those chest and neck or hand tattoos all carry this conatation. Maybe if your looking to make it to the top of only fans or work in a warehouse those type of full body tattoos are fine, but if you want to choose either a normal relationship or a good career, they’re a bad idea.

EdgeOfACoin · 01/02/2022 06:49

I have a baby just a few months old. I think she is perfect in every way. I know full well she'll grow up and be her own person, but I'll be (privately) upset if she decides to permanently deface her skin.

I don't have a problem with tattoos on other people. They can be interesting to look at. I just secretly hope my daughter doesn't want one.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 06:50

@Pleasebeafleabite

Career limiting I’m afraid

HCPs OK but no go for climbing the corporate ladder

Not everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder. I couldn't imagine anything worse.
Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 06:53

[quote TamTamChew]@HarlanPepper

Maybe that’s what people with a lot of tattoos like to think, but believe me people do talk behind their backs. I’m around young men so I do know how they view young women with a lot of tattoos and in general it’s not as someone they want as a potential wife or mother of their kids - unless they’re heavily tattooed and into an alternative lifestyle themselves. They usually see them as “easy” or a someone to be used for fun. That’s the reality.

I’m not talking about a small tattoo here but full sleeves or those chest and neck or hand tattoos all carry this conatation. Maybe if your looking to make it to the top of only fans or work in a warehouse those type of full body tattoos are fine, but if you want to choose either a normal relationship or a good career, they’re a bad idea.[/quote]
Don't you think that says more about those men than it does the women with tattoos? As a tattooed woman, I wouldn't want a relationship with ANY man anyway who describes women as "easy". Incredibly sexist attitude and you should be embarrassed that you think it's acceptable for men to talk so disrespectfully about women.

Hadharra · 01/02/2022 06:54

[quote TamTamChew]@HarlanPepper

Maybe that’s what people with a lot of tattoos like to think, but believe me people do talk behind their backs. I’m around young men so I do know how they view young women with a lot of tattoos and in general it’s not as someone they want as a potential wife or mother of their kids - unless they’re heavily tattooed and into an alternative lifestyle themselves. They usually see them as “easy” or a someone to be used for fun. That’s the reality.

I’m not talking about a small tattoo here but full sleeves or those chest and neck or hand tattoos all carry this conatation. Maybe if your looking to make it to the top of only fans or work in a warehouse those type of full body tattoos are fine, but if you want to choose either a normal relationship or a good career, they’re a bad idea.[/quote]
Jesus Christ what kind of young men are you hanging around? I hope they're not your sons because if so you've got more than tattoos to worry about. What utter judgy cnuts. If you are working with them and this is when you've heard them saying that ANY woman should be 'used' for fun I suggest you report this misogynistic shite. If they're in your friend circle and you still hang out with them then I guess you must have your own questionable opinions. This thread is insane. Working in a warehouse? Jesus.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 06:55

If I raised my son to describe any woman as "easy" or "someone to be used for fun" then I will have done a poor job as a mother.

Hadharra · 01/02/2022 06:55

Cross posted but thank god someone else said it. Disgusting post.

Hadharra · 01/02/2022 06:56

@Waxonwaxoff0

If I raised my son to describe any woman as "easy" or "someone to be used for fun" then I will have done a poor job as a mother.
Hideous isn't it. It's one thing not liking tattoos. What that poster has described is utterly vile misogynist behaviour. Easy and to be used for fun. Fucking hell.
stopthepain · 01/02/2022 06:57

I don’t understand why some people say “all tattoos are ugly.” Tattoos can be beautifully done and be pieces of art. However, I’ve seen some tattoos that are an ugly splotchy dark mess because they haven’t been done properly. Would you have been “devastated” no matter what tattoo she got? Some sleeves look amazing, but some are a splotchy mess. She’ll struggle to hide it in the summer if her place of work is against visible tattoos.

Anyway, her body her choice.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 06:59

@Hadharra the utter hypocrisy is actually laughable.

Also I was married to a "normal" man who had no tattoos himself so that theory is stupid. Hilarious that poster would think I'd be so desperate for a relationship with any of those men she talks about. Rather be single forever than go out with a twatty misogynist.

Spidey66 · 01/02/2022 07:00

I can understand, I don't have either kids or tattoos but while I don't mind small tattoos I'm not mad on sleeves. But she's her own person and we're all individuals. Difficult though it is, you'll have to live with it.

TrickyD · 01/02/2022 07:03

I am waiting for the MN bingo to come up with "plenty of doctors, lawyers, judges have them'" and " would you turn away a tattooed medic who was saving your life?"

I have never come across a tattooed professional, whereas I worked in a prison for six years and rarely saw an inmate without tattoos. It put me off tattoos for life.

PrincessPaws · 01/02/2022 07:04

Devastated is a bit dramatic don't you think? Particularly given that her getting tattoos is absolutely none of your business

Swipe left for the next trending thread