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Original poster

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:
Hadharra · 01/02/2022 07:05

[quote Waxonwaxoff0]@Hadharra the utter hypocrisy is actually laughable.

Also I was married to a "normal" man who had no tattoos himself so that theory is stupid. Hilarious that poster would think I'd be so desperate for a relationship with any of those men she talks about. Rather be single forever than go out with a twatty misogynist.[/quote]
Exactly. It's a fact that no woman should be considered a play toy, ever, based on ANYTHING. This includes their physical attributes whether you like them or not.

Mummadeze · 01/02/2022 07:05

I feel for you. I would be gutted too.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 07:06

@TrickyD

I am waiting for the MN bingo to come up with "plenty of doctors, lawyers, judges have them'" and " would you turn away a tattooed medic who was saving your life?"

I have never come across a tattooed professional, whereas I worked in a prison for six years and rarely saw an inmate without tattoos. It put me off tattoos for life.

Most tattooed people don't go into professional careers. But why is that a bad thing? There are plenty of other jobs. Being a lawyer or doctor is not everyone's life goal, shockingly.
thedarkling · 01/02/2022 07:06

@WiddlinDiddlin's response is excellent.

The job thing is a fallacy in my experience. I have two relatives with tattoos - one has hand and wrist tattoos (albeit v expensively done) and she is a senior marketing director for a city firm, takes home well in excess of six figures. My other relative had a full sleeve and is a nursing sister.

I got a tiny one for my fortieth but was scared of telling my mum for ages 😀

Drunkpanda · 01/02/2022 07:07

When I think back to myself at 26 - I don't dress the same, I don't have the same job, I don't have the same partner, I don't have the same hair. I can't imagine being stuck with (multiple) tattoos that I'd thought were lovely back then.

thedarkling · 01/02/2022 07:07

@TrickyD

I am waiting for the MN bingo to come up with "plenty of doctors, lawyers, judges have them'" and " would you turn away a tattooed medic who was saving your life?"

I have never come across a tattooed professional, whereas I worked in a prison for six years and rarely saw an inmate without tattoos. It put me off tattoos for life.

BINGO!
sandgrown · 01/02/2022 07:07

@BlackCatz. He constantly whinged about a little scar on his knee he thought could have been avoided then went and purposely scarred his own arm with a bloody big tattoo. He looks like flipping Popeye!

Hadharra · 01/02/2022 07:08

@TrickyD

I am waiting for the MN bingo to come up with "plenty of doctors, lawyers, judges have them'" and " would you turn away a tattooed medic who was saving your life?"

I have never come across a tattooed professional, whereas I worked in a prison for six years and rarely saw an inmate without tattoos. It put me off tattoos for life.

I worked in a prison too but would have had my arse handed to me if I used the term inmate (completely misses point of thread!)
Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 07:08

I see a lot of NHS staff with tattoos.

Hadharra · 01/02/2022 07:08

That BINGO just made me laugh out loud, 😂

Grumpsy · 01/02/2022 07:09

Also a hater of tape over here but yabu, it’s not your call it’s your daughters and I’m afraid you’ve just got to suck it up.

phishy · 01/02/2022 07:10

I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice.

But she does like tattoos, it doesn’t matter that you don’t like them. And it’s her choice.

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 01/02/2022 07:10

Bloody hell, some people have forgotten how to talk politely...

Op, I can understand how you're feeling. I wouldn't like that either. I would also worry about how other people perceived my dd and that she was limiting the careers she could have.

But others are right, and you know this - it's her body and she has the right to decorate it. But you don't have to like it. Try to look past the tats to see your lovely dd.

Is she happy? Or is she getting more dramatic tats as a way of acting something out or expressing something negative?

AgathaAllAlong · 01/02/2022 07:11

Don't be hard on yourself. Our children are perfect to us, the most beautiful thing in the entire world, of course something permanent on their skin is upsetting.

I don't have any but I do like tattoos and never understood parent resistance until I had DS. The thought of anything on his perfect body is very upsetting. Of course the rational part of me knows that when he's an adult he can do what he likes - it's his body, not mine! I think being upset by yourself and now showing it to her is the right approach. Try and see what she loves about them. Although you think her body was perfect, she clearly didn't, and thinks this adds to it. Try and see it from that perspective, as her making her body look exactly as she wants it to.

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 01/02/2022 07:12

And it doesn't matter how old your dc are; they are always your babies. I've don't understand some of the posters on here saying ' it's absolutely none of your business' - this is your baby. Of course you have an opinion on her tattoos.

Pleasebeafleabite · 01/02/2022 07:12

Not everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder. I couldn't imagine anything worse

Well judging by the how do you earn £100k a year threads there’s been a rash of recently, plenty of MN would disagree with you

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 01/02/2022 07:13

How many of you see your dr naked! You don't know whats going on under their clothes Confused

Gilly12345 · 01/02/2022 07:13

I would be gutted if my daughters had tattoos, discreet ones ok but some people go overboard and I think it looks awful on men and women.

More money than sense.

TamTamChew · 01/02/2022 07:13

@Waxonwaxoff0

It’s not about what it says about anyone. It’s the reality. You don’t have to want a relationship with those men or want one and neither do any young women with tattoos, but the point is that is what the majority (from what I’ve seen when they feel comfortable about talking in front of you) of young men are saying to each other. And to be honest even though I’m sure a lot are lovely young women with a lot of Tatts are more likely to be “alternative” or into certain lifestyles more than others.

You may not be aware that this (ime) is the prevailing view of young men because you would never let them talk that way around you and would shut it down - but (ime) it is and you not liking it isn’t going to stop them seeing those heavily tattooed young women that way - and if those young women aren’t alternative then they may miss out on having a healthy relationship because they want to get tattooed for whatever reason (saw it on Instagram?).

TrickyD · 01/02/2022 07:14

I worked in a prison too but would have had my arse handed to me if I used the term inmate (completely misses point of thread!)

That's interesting, Hadharra. My prison years were 1980-86 and 'inmate' was the term universally used in those days. How are they referred to now?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 07:14

@Pleasebeafleabite

Not everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder. I couldn't imagine anything worse

Well judging by the how do you earn £100k a year threads there’s been a rash of recently, plenty of MN would disagree with you

MN is full of a certain demographic - middle class white women. Not very representative of the whole population.
JammyDevil · 01/02/2022 07:15

I'd be devastated too. Particularly because it is so big and prominent. Having a tattoo does send a message. You may want the message to be 'I love tattoos' or 'I'm edgy and here's how I express it' or any other number of things. If you have them then you have to accept that other people will have their own, ingrained, perception of people who have tattoos. You are completely unable to decide what that perception will be and none of them are wrong because a perception belongs to the beholder. Traditionally they are something which belonged to the working class, you didn't get 'gentry' or 'naice' people with tattoos so for a lot of people that perception of them being a bit common is still deeply ingrained.

I have friends who have them and friends who would never in a million years have them. I agree with whoever said, I don't know why but I like them less on women, somehow (and without being able to justify why I feel this) I feel it looks a bit trashy. That's just my opinion and it wouldn't stop me from being friends with someone or hiring them as an employee (it would for some employers though I suspect).

So OP, despite the hard time you are getting on here, I understand what you're saying and why you are so upset. It's funny how people aren't allowed to express a dislike of something without being absolute arseholes but the tattoo lovers are allowed to call names and rubbish people with different views to theirs. Pot, kettle etc.

TamTamChew · 01/02/2022 07:16

@stopthepain

To you not all tattoos are ugly but to many people they are. Especially full sleeves. Your allowed to find them beautiful but that’s a subjective view. I don’t no matter how they look.

Coffeeonmytoffee · 01/02/2022 07:16

There is nothing you can do about it and well done for keeping it private. I completely agree they are awful.

Worldgonecrazy · 01/02/2022 07:17

I completely feel your sadness at what she is doing to herself. It’s so easy to see the harms in it when you have that much more life experience.

My SD has sleeves, and has now extended them to her hands. They are black and ugly. The truth is she has them to distract from how much she hates herself and her body and part of a plethora of self harming issues which include morbid obesity and self harm. They are career limiting too but she can’t see that yet.

But having said all that, it is her body and she is allowed to make her own mistakes. All you can do is to be there for her.

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