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Original poster

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:
BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 13:27

@fantasmasgoria1

I have been treated by doctors with tattoos. I remember going to A&E on one occasion and the doctor who saw me had a tattoo from his elbow up to his shoulder. I saw it because obviously as he moved his arms his sleeve rode up and I saw it. It made no difference to his abilities as a doctor nor did I see him any differently.

A gp at my surgery has a fairly large tattoo. She covers it but I have seen it a couple of times when she had to wear a tunic during covid. I have many tattoos and I'm degree educated and I think my morals are goid and I don't consider myself common.

There was a lovely anaesthetist looking after me when I had an ELCS and he was covered in tatts. I remember him specifically because of them and he was really good looking.
Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 13:29

@Brieandcamembert

*Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?*

You are so right. I often find people with lots of tattoos are insecure/ "look at me so you don't look at me". Usually some sort of history of need to be "different.

Also they are just not very classy. You do automatically think people are lower social class with tattoos. You could never imagine ladies at a black tie dinner with tattoos down their arms by their cocktail dresses....

And what's wrong with being a lower social class? The insinuation there is that middle class people are better. I am working class, I don't aspire to be anything else.
SockFluffInTheBath · 01/02/2022 13:30

@Brieandcamembert

*Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?*

You are so right. I often find people with lots of tattoos are insecure/ "look at me so you don't look at me". Usually some sort of history of need to be "different.

Also they are just not very classy. You do automatically think people are lower social class with tattoos. You could never imagine ladies at a black tie dinner with tattoos down their arms by their cocktail dresses....

…going home to their barn conversions in terribly middle class naice villages. Admittedly due to Covid it’s been a while.
DearlyBeloathed · 01/02/2022 13:31

You could never imagine ladies at a black tie dinner with tattoos down their arms by their cocktail dresses

Ladies at a black tie dinner looool.

Not really somewhere I aspire to be.

constantsky · 01/02/2022 13:31

Laughing at the people who believe they've never met a professional with a tattoo - how do you know that?

I have friends and family in very respectable, middle-class professions with tattoos they keep covered - no one would ever know they had them

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 13:33

I love the sleeves on the brides. To the poster using Ew.. how old are you? 6?

LuckyMeISeeGhosts · 01/02/2022 13:33

Laughing at the people who believe they've never met a professional with a tattoo

Exactly.

My HOD at University had a full sleeve, but you'd never have known if you didn't know him personally as he always wore a suit at work.

WindyState · 01/02/2022 13:36

@Brieandcamembert

*Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?*

You are so right. I often find people with lots of tattoos are insecure/ "look at me so you don't look at me". Usually some sort of history of need to be "different.

Also they are just not very classy. You do automatically think people are lower social class with tattoos. You could never imagine ladies at a black tie dinner with tattoos down their arms by their cocktail dresses....

You do think that if you are a judgmental wanker.

I

SeasonFinale · 01/02/2022 13:41

You are not being unreasonable at being upset if you don't like them.

However you would be unreasonable to expect that she shouldn't be able to do what she wants with her own body however grim you think they are.

My own DS has a small one in an inconspicuous place that can easily never be seen should he wish not to have it on display. I would rather he didn't have it all but he does and I do accept it is his body, his choice whatever I think of it but I still don't have to like his choice or the tattoo (as that is my choice).

FourChimneys · 01/02/2022 13:41

I think they look ugly on anyone. Fortunately my adult DC agree and are even less likely to get a tattoo than I am.

RobertaFirmino · 01/02/2022 13:42

And people being disingenuous about the ‘sweet girl’ thing, everyone knows you don’t look sweet once you have a tattoo, you look rough

I have no tattoos but still look rough. Where does that leave me?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 13:47

@Brieandcamembert

*Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?*

You are so right. I often find people with lots of tattoos are insecure/ "look at me so you don't look at me". Usually some sort of history of need to be "different.

Also they are just not very classy. You do automatically think people are lower social class with tattoos. You could never imagine ladies at a black tie dinner with tattoos down their arms by their cocktail dresses....

Jesus wept. Who the fuck would want to if they have your attitude?

I feel so so bloody sorry for DC with parents that have views like this.

mathioso · 01/02/2022 13:47

@RobertaFirmino

And people being disingenuous about the ‘sweet girl’ thing, everyone knows you don’t look sweet once you have a tattoo, you look rough

I have no tattoos but still look rough. Where does that leave me?

Hopefully not at any black-tie dinners with the beautifully skinned babies.
SofiaSoFar · 01/02/2022 13:50

@malificent7

I think these Brides with tats look lovely.
Looks like a rogue toddler has been at those arms with some marker pens they found.

Bloody awful.

DillonPanthersTexas · 01/02/2022 13:51

Laughing at the people who believe they've never met a professional with a tattoo - how do you know that?

I don’t think anyone has claimed they have never met a professional with a tattoo. More a case of observing that not many people openly show them off in the office work place as they are hidden. I have worked with plenty of blokes with tattoos, I only knew that because we all trooped off to the same gym together at lunchtime and you could see them in the changing rooms.

skodadoda · 01/02/2022 13:53

I hate tattoos

amusedbush · 01/02/2022 14:01

@constantsky

Laughing at the people who believe they've never met a professional with a tattoo - how do you know that?

I have friends and family in very respectable, middle-class professions with tattoos they keep covered - no one would ever know they had them

I know, it’s hilarious. I’m an academic working in a university and my (many) tattoos have never been mentioned negatively once in my career.
BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 14:05

*Looks like a rogue toddler has been at those arms with some marker pens they found.

Bloody awful.*

See what do you actually get from being so insulting? The point is, it's totally fair enough if you don't like tattoos. But why is it ok to make such nasty comments about the physical appearance of someone? If you made comments about someone's weight or other aspect of their physical appearance, people would pull you up on it. But apparently it's ok to say that tattoos look rough, chavvy, awful etc?

It comes across as typical MC mumsnet.

JoeCrackers · 01/02/2022 14:06

Tattoos aside , All these posters talking about babies and children you made with perfect skin is so shallow and frankly creepy

I love my children but I don’t think of them as perfect or expect them to be. Feel sorry for the children of these posters who expect them to remain perfect so as not to disappoint them.

Makes me think that if their babies had been born with a birthmark or developed eczema/ psoriasis or some other skin condition they wouldn’t consider them quite so perfect

Also really bloody depressing to see how many (presumably) women seem to think that it’s a woman’s job to be attractive to others

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 14:10

@SofiaSoFar does it make you feel better about yourself using the words 'bloody awful'? Would no, I don't like that be enough do you think?

Hugoslavia · 01/02/2022 14:11

You have every right to be upset. You bought your child into this world with beautiful skin and that is how your child grew up. In your view she was absolutely perfect as she was. So any drastic changes to her physical appearance are bound to be unsettling. And of course there is also the worry that she will have even more or regret her choices. You can't help how you feel. So have a good cry over it. There's not much that you can do about it though, apart from try to gently persuade her not to get any more, although she probably won't listen.

dannydyerismydad · 01/02/2022 14:14

I'm 46 years old and still make choices based on my mother's likely reaction. She's the sort to cry and/or sulk if you don't live your life as she thinks you should.

Yes, I should get over it and live my own life. But I can't face the emotional blackmail.

Don't be my mother. Let your daughter live her life independently. It's her skin. She's hurting no one.

WindyState · 01/02/2022 14:14

@Hugoslavia

You have every right to be upset. You bought your child into this world with beautiful skin and that is how your child grew up. In your view she was absolutely perfect as she was. So any drastic changes to her physical appearance are bound to be unsettling. And of course there is also the worry that she will have even more or regret her choices. You can't help how you feel. So have a good cry over it. There's not much that you can do about it though, apart from try to gently persuade her not to get any more, although she probably won't listen.
She probably won't listen and will probably detach from the OP as a result of her outdated prejudices.

Great advice.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 14:15

@JoeCrackers

Tattoos aside , All these posters talking about babies and children you made with perfect skin is so shallow and frankly creepy

I love my children but I don’t think of them as perfect or expect them to be. Feel sorry for the children of these posters who expect them to remain perfect so as not to disappoint them.

Makes me think that if their babies had been born with a birthmark or developed eczema/ psoriasis or some other skin condition they wouldn’t consider them quite so perfect

Also really bloody depressing to see how many (presumably) women seem to think that it’s a woman’s job to be attractive to others

All of this.

Also- whilst there is absolutely nothing wrong with scars etc, I'd be more upset for my child if they were left with a scar following an accident etc that they were then distressed about, rather than them making the CHOICE to have a tattoo that they love the design of or that means something to them. Just because I would be sad if they were distressed. I hope I'm explaining this clearly because I'm not saying there is anything wrong with scars but what I mean is that it is a positive choice to get a tattoo- I chose and was happy to have my tattoos. My self harm scars on the other hand are something that I would prefer not to be there if I had the choice.

The idea of 'perfect skin' is indeed odd. I'd want my DC to be happy and confident in themselves, birthmarks, scars and (maybe when older) tattoos as well.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 14:15

@Hugoslavia

You have every right to be upset. You bought your child into this world with beautiful skin and that is how your child grew up. In your view she was absolutely perfect as she was. So any drastic changes to her physical appearance are bound to be unsettling. And of course there is also the worry that she will have even more or regret her choices. You can't help how you feel. So have a good cry over it. There's not much that you can do about it though, apart from try to gently persuade her not to get any more, although she probably won't listen.
🤮 here we go again