Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:
DillonPanthersTexas · 01/02/2022 13:07

I don't even have any tattoos but speaking to those who do most do not give a shiny shit about what people think about them.

This thread would not have stumbled past two pages if that were true.

Maybe we need to combine ear piercings for new babies, toliet brush usage, transrights and tattoos into one mega thread that if hooked up to the national grid it could power the UK for decades.

ihavespoken · 01/02/2022 13:09

@Pleasebeafleabite

Career limiting I’m afraid

HCPs OK but no go for climbing the corporate ladder

Nope.. I know a partner in a big corporate law firm near me who has a big sleeve tattoo. It clearly hasn't done him any harm.

Agree with PP saying it's 2022 not 1982 - it's normal these days and most people (rightly) DGAF

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 13:11

@Sparklingbrook

Unless she has twat written on her head why would it impact her career?!

Because tattoos still can. I know there will be people that it hasn't but as this thread shows many people in general (and therefore people that interview candidates) don't like them or the way they look. So they wouldn't hire that person.
There are also jobs that stipulate 'no visible tattoos' in their guidelines re appearance.

My boss dislikes tattoos but 80% of people at my workplace have them. He's told me openly he doesn't like my tattoos but I was the best candidate for the job and he doesn't hire people based on his personal like or dislike of tattoos. He hires the best person for the job.
BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 13:11

@MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot yeah but the 'big decision' referred to was getting tattoos, wasn't it. Put it this way, I tend to think anyone who does indeed find it 'incredibly painful' to see their adult child choosing to have tattoos is perhaps prone to overdramatics and should maybe get a grip.

I like the sound of the orange tattoo. I like tattoos that have humour.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 01/02/2022 13:11

I have sleeve tattoos and am a good way up the career ladder.

Hyly68 · 01/02/2022 13:11

I have two small tattoos, my Mum made it clear she doesn’t like them but it didn’t stop me from getting them.
I personally aren’t bothered about what others think of them, they aren’t generally visible though, apart from the one at the top of my arm when I’m wearing summer clothes.

MrsBaublesDylan · 01/02/2022 13:13

I genuinely don't mind what people think of tattoos.

It did bother me when my Mum used to go on and on about how awful they are.

Now I have tattoos but no relationship with my Mum. I disinherited myself and chose to never see her again.

The tattoos are far nicer to have than my Mum.

Mayhemmumma · 01/02/2022 13:13

I'd be sad too

malificent7 · 01/02/2022 13:14

I think these Brides with tats look lovely.

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos
I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos
Fireandflames666 · 01/02/2022 13:14

This thread is so embarrassing, calling people common, trashy, criminals, unprofessionals etc.

1.Most people get tattoos because they like art, not before of conforming or following the crowds.

  1. I know many, many people who work in important sectors that are absolutely covered in tattoos.
  1. Perfect skin is a stupid and vain concept, would you be equally upset if they had acne or eczema?.
  1. Being alternative is not a phase. I've been alternative since i was 14, I'm now 36 and nothing has changed.
  1. My tattoos all have a stories and meanings behind them, they are beautiful and i don't not regret any of them. I had my first at 17 and I'm still obsessed with them.
  1. It's blatant discrimination.
malificent7 · 01/02/2022 13:14

I love the edgy/ pure hybrid!

TitoMojito · 01/02/2022 13:15

@Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?
Oh shush 😂
AryaStarkWolf · 01/02/2022 13:15

@Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?
Ah stop, she probably just likes tattoos
GADDay · 01/02/2022 13:17

Lol - I am a CEO of a Tech Company. Not career limiting for me.

WindyState · 01/02/2022 13:17

@DillonPanthersTexas

I don't even have any tattoos but speaking to those who do most do not give a shiny shit about what people think about them.

This thread would not have stumbled past two pages if that were true.

Maybe we need to combine ear piercings for new babies, toliet brush usage, transrights and tattoos into one mega thread that if hooked up to the national grid it could power the UK for decades.

Of course it would.

Besides which, there is a world of difference between someone not liking a tattoo and making blanket judgements about anyone with a tattoo.

One is ok. The other is not.

Myturnatlast · 01/02/2022 13:17

Well said @Fireandflames666

UnwantedOpinionBelow · 01/02/2022 13:18

Wow you need to get a grip. It's her body and her choice! It's a bit of colouring on skin, it does not change who your daughter is as a person at all. Maybe you need to stop being so judgemental about how she decides she wants to look. This is such a non-issue for goodness sake.

DillonPanthersTexas · 01/02/2022 13:18

Nope.. I know a partner in a big corporate law firm near me who has a big sleeve tattoo. It clearly hasn't done him any harm.

Clearly not. I don't think anyone is claiming that having a tattoo will stop your career dead in its tracks but there are still enough 'old school' attitudes out there that would frown about an on display tattoo in the work place. I also still think that anyone who gets a tattoo on their face is a bit dim.

TitoMojito · 01/02/2022 13:20

Your daughter is a human being. Sure, she came from you but her body belongs to her and she can put whatever she wants on it, whether that's clothes, make up, hair dye, or tattoos. You can hate the tats all you want but there's nothing you can do about them.

Moonface123 · 01/02/2022 13:20

l have never liked them, l don' t think they are in any way enhancing, quite the opposite.

fantasmasgoria1 · 01/02/2022 13:22

I have been treated by doctors with tattoos. I remember going to A&E on one occasion and the doctor who saw me had a tattoo from his elbow up to his shoulder. I saw it because obviously as he moved his arms his sleeve rode up and I saw it. It made no difference to his abilities as a doctor nor did I see him any differently.

A gp at my surgery has a fairly large tattoo. She covers it but I have seen it a couple of times when she had to wear a tunic during covid. I have many tattoos and I'm degree educated and I think my morals are goid and I don't consider myself common.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 01/02/2022 13:23

@malificent7

I think these Brides with tats look lovely.
Eww-just no way Jose.
TakeSomeMoreTea · 01/02/2022 13:24

@Choclover27

Afternoon everyone. Well this has caused a stir. I still stand by my original post and I hate her sleeve. I’m ok with her other tattoos but it’s my right to own my own feelings. I have a great relationship with her. She often asks for my opinion and knows I will be honest in my answer! She asked my thoughts prior to it and so knew my feelings. So she did what she wanted, that’s up to her. Then videoed me to show me, in full knowledge I wouldn’t be jumping for joy. And that’s my prerogative ! Today we are chatting on text as normal. No dramas. My private crying drama was just that. Private. And yeah I can cry if I want to Grin When I get home I shall read through as many of these posts as I can. Probably in the bath with a glass of wine to steel myself. But hey. Freedom of choice. Freedom of speech. Freedom to cry. Thankyou all for commenting. Ps. My daughter will always be my baby by the way. Even tho she owns her own house, has a career. A relationship. She rocks. I just hate her tattoo
Enjoy catching up. It's certainly made my lunch hour more entertaining.
Brieandcamembert · 01/02/2022 13:25

*Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?*

You are so right. I often find people with lots of tattoos are insecure/ "look at me so you don't look at me". Usually some sort of history of need to be "different.

Also they are just not very classy. You do automatically think people are lower social class with tattoos. You could never imagine ladies at a black tie dinner with tattoos down their arms by their cocktail dresses....

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/02/2022 13:26

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?
No. I got my tattoos because I like how they look on my skin. What other people think of them means nothing to me.

I will not be told that I'm a "chav" or "easy" or have "mental problems" like some people on this thread think it's acceptable to do though because that is judging my personality without knowing me, not my tattoos.