Page 32 | I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

Choclover27 · 2022-01-31T23:19:58+00:00

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

ihaveonecat · 01/02/2022 12:44

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

Nope. Mine aren't visible unless they're in a bikini and are mostly quotes that wouldn't mean much to other people (Maya Angelou, Buffy etc)

Mischance · 01/02/2022 12:44

It is hard - clearly she is a grown adult and can make her own decisions; but as a parent you are of course sad to see the perfect child that you birthed being mutilated. And, as a more mature person, you will be aware of how much we all change as the years pass, and realise that she may live to regret this.

Sadly, there is noting you can do. But you have my sympathy.

daisyjgrey · 01/02/2022 12:45

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

No.

I don't care if you like my haircut either.

mathioso · 01/02/2022 12:46

Yes they really are commonplace. Everyone thinks they are so individual and out there whereas nothing is new

I think everyone is well aware tattoos are common these days. I don't think anyone gets one thinking "this will make me so unique".

Myturnatlast · 01/02/2022 12:47

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

No. They're for me!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 12:47

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

You're surprised that people are defensive? Have you actually read some of the shit people are spouting on this thread? I don't give a shit if people don't like my tattoos. But calling me a chav, rough and thinking I have mental health issues? That's ok is it?

EmpressSuiko · 01/02/2022 12:48

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

My tattoos are for me, I don’t care what others think of them. I have them because I like them and they all mean something to me.

Mumoblue · 01/02/2022 12:50

I’m definitely on the side of the “tattoo defenders” and I don’t even have any. But my parents do.
Endlessly tickled that it apparently makes them “rough”.

Watch out- my mother has a crochet hook!

steff13 · 01/02/2022 12:51

@TrickyD

I am waiting for the MN bingo to come up with "plenty of doctors, lawyers, judges have them'" and " would you turn away a tattooed medic who was saving your life?"

I have never come across a tattooed professional, whereas I worked in a prison for six years and rarely saw an inmate without tattoos. It put me off tattoos for life.

I'm an Administrative Law Judge, and I have tattoos. Now you have come across one.

shivawn · 01/02/2022 12:51

At 26 it's her choice but I completely understand you feeling the way you do.

StillWeRise · 01/02/2022 12:52

tattoos that aren't normally visible obviously aren't intended to communicate to others, and most of the negative views expressed here wouldn't apply
I'm not bothered by anyones haircut either, but an unusual haircut/style/colour DOES send a message, it might be
'I'm fashionable/care how I look'
'I'm a bit of a rebel, me'
'I have loads of money to spend on hairdressers'

and others might read
'vain'
'interesting'
'more money than sense'

what ever we do with our appearance sends a message! crazy to pretend it doesn't!

Thatbliddywoman · 01/02/2022 12:52

YABU, they're very normal nowadays and she's an adult

I say that as someone with no tattoos who doesn't particularly like or dislike them.

MealyPotatoes · 01/02/2022 12:52

*shiny

Let’s hope your tattooist is better at spelling.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 12:52

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

We know that lots of people think they look ugly- its fine. It's the nasty assumptions and comments on here- usually very classist comments- that people take issue with. And the melodramatics around their precious babies being 'hurt' by a tattoo 😂

Did anyone see the recent thread on S&B about the COS mock collar? Lots of people thought it was weird and said so- although I didn't think anyone was nasty about it really. Just a bit 'wtf'? Why not have a smart coat and a more practical one rather than spend £55 on a mock collar that makes you look like kenny from South Park. But this being mumsnet, of course anyone that didn't like the £55 mock collar from middle class COS was being mean spirited etc.

Yet it's ok to make such extreme comments and judgements about people with tattoos?

Have attached a pick of the Kenny Collar, for ref.

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

blahblahx · 01/02/2022 12:52

She's an adult and able to make her own decisions. It is her body. I think crying over this is rather dramatic.

NETSRIK · 01/02/2022 12:53

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

So in the same way then aren't people who don't have tattoos curious as to what people think of decisions they have made and what signals they are giving? I suppose it depends whether you judge people solely on how they look or whether you judge them on what type of person they are.

Socialcarenope · 01/02/2022 12:54

How other people can get so worked up about perfectly legal things others do to or with their bodies I will never know.

SockFluffInTheBath · 01/02/2022 12:54

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

Defensive? Are you remotely surprised given the outdated and sexist rubbish spouted on here?

Do I wonder what you think of me snd my tattoos? No, and why would I? I’m also a professional and, most shockingly, formerly a teacher (won’t someone please think of the children)…

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 12:57

@MealyPotatoes

*shiny

Let’s hope your tattooist is better at spelling.

Awh was that a dig? Pendants corner. Heard of it? Off you trot.

WindyState · 01/02/2022 12:57

@PattyPan

Publicly labelling people who chose to get tattoos as "chavs", "rough" etc. is being a dick.

I didn’t label anyone a chav. Maybe rough is the wrong word but I was responding to posters who were pretending to not understand another poster’s point about how tattoos change your look. They undeniably do and it’s not to make you look more polished, creative, approachable etc.

Lots of other people have though, along with other pretty nasty terms. Judging people on physical characteristics is a dick move - self inflicted or not - however much you want to claim otherwise.

mathioso · 01/02/2022 12:58

@StillWeRise

tattoos that aren't normally visible obviously aren't intended to communicate to others, and most of the negative views expressed here wouldn't apply I'm not bothered by anyones haircut either, but an unusual haircut/style/colour DOES send a message, it might be 'I'm fashionable/care how I look' 'I'm a bit of a rebel, me' 'I have loads of money to spend on hairdressers'

and others might read
'vain'
'interesting'
'more money than sense'

what ever we do with our appearance sends a message! crazy to pretend it doesn't!

I think the easiest way to imagine this is by using something else as an analogy. Let's say you're a fan of skinny jeans. You probably like them because you think they look nice, which is of course influenced by fashion trends, and you're no doubt aware that some people like skinny jeans, some don't. Some probably hate them!

Do you have any particular interest in what people think of you when you wear them, though?

And would you be surprised to find a fair few defensive people in a thread where people were saying they cried after seeing their DD wearing skinny jeans, or that people who wear skinny jeans are rough, easy, or mentally damaged? I wouldn't be.

WindyState · 01/02/2022 13:00

@StillWeRise

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them. But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?

I don't even have any tattoos but speaking to those who do most do not give a shiny shit about what people think about them.

Notwithittoday · 01/02/2022 13:04

You have my sympathy. I would hate to see my child’s skin defaced and would probably cry too. There’s nothing you can do though

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 01/02/2022 13:04

@BellatrixOnABadDay

think some of the more unkind comments are people who are able to let go more easily or who’s children are not perhaps old enough to make lifechanging decisions yet.

Unkind comments? After the vile things that have been said on this thread about tattoos?

Maybe, just maybe, this isn't about being able to 'let things go more easily', or having younger children. Maybe some people have had genuinely awful things happen in life, are able to see the bigger picture, and realise that a tattoo is not actually a problem, by any measure?

'Incredibly painful'- to see your child get a tattoo? Get a grip. You may not like tattoos which is fair enough but has it completely altered any sense of perspective?

Seeing your child struggle with being bullied is painful. Seeing them struggle with addiction/ unemployment/abusive relationships is painful. Watching them suffer horrible illnesses is painful.

Anyone who wants to say their child getting a tattoo is 'incredibly painful' really needs to get a grip and consider how lucky they are if their child is healthy, happy, and doing well in their life.

I wasn’t specifically talking about tattoos if you read my post again. I’m talking about any big decisions that you, as a parent, think may be a mistake in the short/long run and if OP feels that strongly about tattoos then it could cause her distress.

I have no strong feelings about tattoos, my BIL has them and they are beautiful but my daughter’s friend (who is 17) now has 13 of them, mostly self done and I would be horrified if it was my daughter and that she had committed to mark her body for life at that age.

I do see tattoos sometimes (like a lady nearby who has a large tweety-pie on her calf) and think isn’t that like wearing the same outfit every day for the rest of your life? But hey-ho, her choice and I assume she loves it.

My husband suggested I had an orange tattooed on my arse as then I’d have texture too! See you don’t have to jump down my throat!

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 01/02/2022 13:06

My mother loathes my tattoos. I am 60 years old. Personally I don't care whether she likes them or not and her constant harping on about it means I just don't go and see her any more.
She needs to accept me as I am, an alternative, happy person and stop trying to mould be into what she would prefer me to be.
I love my tattoos but over the years I love her less and less because she never has anything nice to say..
Be warned.