I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

[Choclover27]

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

@BellatrixOnABadDay , I don't know if most people regret or don't regret their tattoos later in life but I know some do. . I said I would be sad to think that potentially my child could regret having them and would like him or her to be able to reflect on that possibility and try and imagine that they may not always like permanent art on their body.
It's easy to cover up one or 2 tattoos but not so much when an entire body part is covered , particularly in warm weather

@Cam22

Some of the people criticising those who detest tattoos are using swear words to do so. You’re hardly on the high moral ground if you resort to that sort of language.

Swear words are nothing compared to the offensive, classist remarks being thrown around by the rest of you.

@PattyPan

I don't want a Chinese tattoo, so you know what I'm not going to do? Get one! Fucking hell, just think of that..

Okaaay…

It is ok. I don't judge and name call people who have a Chinese symbol tattoo. Because I'm not a dick

@Myturnatlast

I like to think I speak for the majority of tattooed people when I say we don't give a tiny rats ass what you think, our tattoos are for us, not you!

Problem is unless they are in a place not on show we have to see them.

Large tattoos, sleeves and particularly tattoos on legs actually make me feel physically sick. No I am not exaggerating. I feel I have a phobia about them

@TamTamChew

You got the wrong poster. I am a tatted person who finds this thread really judgemental and awful.

@GADDay

I just worry about what her mental state would be to do that and also the kind of men who would be interested in her and what they’d associate all the tattoos with. Young women who seem troubled are more likely to attract users and guys who are sexually weird and this is like a neon sign to them.

Please direct me to the research supporting each of the gross generalisations you have reeled off here. But of course, there isn't any...

I think there is nothing more ugly than the sight of a woman with a load of tattoos and a revealing wedding dress - as for the legs and feet thing urrrghhh

And you're an oil painting yourself then?

But if he's a Chelsea headhunter- he's 'rough' because of his horrible attitudes and behaviour rather than the tattoo itself.

Respectfully disagree. Wearing tattoos of that nature are deliberate statements that carry implied characteristics of the person. If I got such a tattoo on my arm despite never actually being terribly interested in football many people seeing it will assume there is a higher chance of me possessing those horrible attitudes and behaviours. If I saw someone in their 30s or 40s with some Thai proverb on their arm I will just assume they went backpacking or something in their 20s, not that they were making racist chants at Stamford Bridge in the 80s.

A tattoo can be way more than just 'ink'.

@mydogisthebest that is your problem.

Afternoon everyone. Well this has caused a stir. I still stand by my original post and I hate her sleeve. I’m ok with her other tattoos but it’s my right to own my own feelings. I have a great relationship with her. She often asks for my opinion and knows I will be honest in my answer! She asked my thoughts prior to it and so knew my feelings. So she did what she wanted, that’s up to her. Then videoed me to show me, in full knowledge I wouldn’t be jumping for joy. And that’s my prerogative ! Today we are chatting on text as normal. No dramas. My private crying drama was just that. Private. And yeah I can cry if I want to
When I get home I shall read through as many of these posts as I can. Probably in the bath with a glass of wine to steel myself. But hey. Freedom of choice. Freedom of speech. Freedom to cry.
Thankyou all for commenting. Ps. My daughter will always be my baby by the way. Even tho she owns her own house, has a career. A relationship. She rocks. I just hate her tattoo

That sounds like a ‘you’ problem, rather than anyone else’s

Large tattoos, sleeves and particularly tattoos on legs actually make me feel physically sick

I'm sure you'll live.

@PattyPan

Part of respecting autonomy is accepting that other people can do as they wish with their bodies without being subjected to being labelled as chavs or (far) worse

I disagree. You can honour someone’s decision while still thinking it was a bad decision.

True, you can think that privately.

Publicly labelling people who chose to get tattoos as "chavs", "rough" etc. is being a dick.

Bloody hell, so much pearl clutching! So many comments similar to what my parents/grandparents would say. I'm surprised at the amount of people who can't get over tattoos being a thing. I've got half a sleeve on each arm. My Dad tried to demand that I didn't get my first one done, with many comments just like the ones already said. I'm a creative type, love art and drawing. To me, my tattoos are art. It's freedom of expression.

I honestly don't understand why people are so against them. Just don't get them if you don't like them? What is the harm in your kids getting them? They are still the same person!

I'm happy for my child to be who he is, not sure if he'll get tattoos when older but I'm supportive in him being and discovering who he is. He identity is his own and not something I'd ever wish to judge or control.

So much closed-mindedness and judgement of other people.

@Cam22

Some of the people criticising those who detest tattoos are using swear words to do so. You’re hardly on the high moral ground if you resort to that sort of language.

Utter nonsense.

@mydogisthebest
A phobia? Seriously? Get a grip

This is such a strange reaction from you OP, she is grown woman and she can do whatever she likes with her body. I can't imagine getting upset if my kids got tattoos in their 20s. My mum had quite a dramatic reaction when I had my first one, so I didn't ever tell her about any of the others, and this fitted a wider pattern of not letting my mum know who the 'real me' was as she couldn't ever get her head around the fact that her kids weren't extensions of herself - but that's a whole other story!

When I get home I shall read through as many of these posts as I can. Probably in the bath with a glass of wine to steel myself

Or a couple. As you find out what people actually think of people like your daughter while thinking they're agreeing with you.

Been quite the bemusing thread.

Publicly labelling people who chose to get tattoos as "chavs", "rough" etc. is being a dick.

I didn’t label anyone a chav. Maybe rough is the wrong word but I was responding to posters who were pretending to not understand another poster’s point about how tattoos change your look. They undeniably do and it’s not to make you look more polished, creative, approachable etc.

You’re not being unreasonable at all. I would be upset if my kids had tattoos even though I accept it would be their choice.

Tattoos are hideous. Having permanent ink ‘art’ on your skin for the rest of your life is like saying you will forever love and wear the My Little Pony pyjamas you had when you were six. Yeah I get that for some people they have special meaning but usually they just look crap.

There are far better ways of creative expression and far more tasteful ways of keeping memories than getting tattooed.

I actually really hate to see them.

@PattyPan

Publicly labelling people who chose to get tattoos as "chavs", "rough" etc. is being a dick.

I didn’t label anyone a chav. Maybe rough is the wrong word but I was responding to posters who were pretending to not understand another poster’s point about how tattoos change your look. They undeniably do and it’s not to make you look more polished, creative, approachable etc.

Rough or anything associated with 'rough' is the wrong word.

@DillonPanthersTexas

But if he's a Chelsea headhunter- he's 'rough' because of his horrible attitudes and behaviour rather than the tattoo itself.

Respectfully disagree. Wearing tattoos of that nature are deliberate statements that carry implied characteristics of the person. If I got such a tattoo on my arm despite never actually being terribly interested in football many people seeing it will assume there is a higher chance of me possessing those horrible attitudes and behaviours. If I saw someone in their 30s or 40s with some Thai proverb on their arm I will just assume they went backpacking or something in their 20s, not that they were making racist chants at Stamford Bridge in the 80s.

A tattoo can be way more than just 'ink'.

No- because it's a club badge. My brother has a club badge on his leg. He's not a hooligan. He wasn't even born when hooliganism was at its peak. Lots of normal decent people just love their team and want a tattoo that is meaningful for them.

It's not like a swastika or something where you really can make the assumption that a person with that tattoo is unpleasant, to say the least.

@Cam22 nope not butterfly here.

[quote Tarne]@gadday you seem very angry, I think tattoos are hilariously poor taste. But I do associate people with tattoos as angry, swear a lot, very judgemental and with chips on their shoulders about people who don't have them or want them.

[/quote]
Nah. The least angry person on the thread.

I think the ugly pearl clutchers are the ugly ones. An opinion is fine, but it seems fair game on here to be as rude as possible. Such a lot of - not on a woman

@MealyPotatoes

You’re not being unreasonable at all. I would be upset if my kids had tattoos even though I accept it would be their choice.

Tattoos are hideous. Having permanent ink ‘art’ on your skin for the rest of your life is like saying you will forever love and wear the My Little Pony pyjamas you had when you were six. Yeah I get that for some people they have special meaning but usually they just look crap.

There are far better ways of creative expression and far more tasteful ways of keeping memories than getting tattooed.

I actually really hate to see them.

In your opinion. In mine, I like tattoos. And I literally couldn't give a shiney shit if you 'really hate to see them'

I'm always surprised how defensive most of the tattoo defenders are. You like them, fine, have them.
But aren't you just a little bit curious about how other people see them? Given that most are intended for display and presumably to signal something? Aren't you interested in what they signal, and whether it's what you intended?