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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:
DynamiteFilledRadish · 01/02/2022 12:11

@WindyState

MN cracks me up at times. All (correctly) for body autonomy and individual rights apart from when it comes to people putting art on their bodies.

If you don't like tattoos, fine, but don't be a judgmental twat about other people's choices eh?

In the main, this place is now populated by very bored people with no jobs, minimal friends and little else to occupy their minds other than being twats on the internet.

I just read it and laugh these days. Gone are the days of intelligent conversation and genuine wit.

Kennykenkencat · 01/02/2022 12:13

I think Choclover27 probably posted this before bed and is probably going to come back later today to find her thread at 40 pages

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 01/02/2022 12:13

Surely even the DM or Loose Women are sick and tired of the 'are tattoos shit or cool' debate

Although this thread would suggest different.
I am now going to re-ignite my research for my next tat, inspired by posters who think it makes me look rough Grin

Blueberriesonmyshreddies · 01/02/2022 12:13

My DS always wanted tattoos and I really, really, didn't want him to have them. He did lots of research, involved me in the process. I realised it was going to happen no matter what so this way I at least love the artwork.
He has two full sleeves both beautiful pieces of art. They have cost him the same as a decent second hand car so far and there is still more to go.
His DB took the opportunity of his brother distracting me and has had a much cheaper set of tattoos on his arm.
I am learning to love them. Youngest sons are Greek goddesses that we have named Maude and Gladys, eldest has one with meaning for each of the family.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 12:14

No one on this thread has proposed banning tattoos. Just expressed their opinions that they look awful, which doesn’t impinge on anyone’s autonomy.*

They've been rude dickheads, you mean? 😁

StarbucksSmarterSister · 01/02/2022 12:14

OP my niece has them, I think they're hideous.

But she's an adult too, and it's her choice, no matter what I think.

DearlyBeloathed · 01/02/2022 12:14

inspired by posters who think it makes me look rough Grin

It's a good thing! At least they narrow-minded idiots will be too intimidated to come near us Grin. I'd be happy to not have to associate with people like that.

Myturnatlast · 01/02/2022 12:14

I like to think I speak for the majority of tattooed people when I say we don't give a tiny rats ass what you think, our tattoos are for us, not you!

WindyState · 01/02/2022 12:15

@PattyPan

MN cracks me up at times. All (correctly) for body autonomy and individual rights apart from when it comes to people putting art on their bodies.

No one on this thread has proposed banning tattoos. Just expressed their opinions that they look awful, which doesn’t impinge on anyone’s autonomy.

Part of respecting autonomy is accepting that other people can do as they wish with their bodies without being subjected to being labelled as chavs or (far) worse.
DearlyBeloathed · 01/02/2022 12:15

these*

AiryFairyLights · 01/02/2022 12:15

You’re not being the bitch mother from hell- you’re being a little harsh on yourself there I think x
You don’t like them which isn’t unreasonable - everyone has personal choice, but I think being so upset that you’ve cried makes me wonder if it’s more to do with accepting she’s fully grown and able to make her own decisions about her body and you as a parent have no say in it?
Either way you need to accept this and try and find a way forward and be proud you have raised a daughter who has the confidence to make such decisions for herself and excites herself in whichever way she wants to x

PattyPan · 01/02/2022 12:17

@BellatrixOnABadDay

* No one on this thread has proposed banning tattoos. Just expressed their opinions that they look awful, which doesn’t impinge on anyone’s autonomy.*

They've been rude dickheads, you mean? 😁

People can be as rude as possible, still doesn’t impact other people’s autonomy. Even the OP didn’t want to stop her DD from getting the tattoo or frogmarch her down to the laser removal clinic, just express her own feelings to people that aren’t her DD.
AiryFairyLights · 01/02/2022 12:17

@AiryFairyLights

You’re not being the bitch mother from hell- you’re being a little harsh on yourself there I think x You don’t like them which isn’t unreasonable - everyone has personal choice, but I think being so upset that you’ve cried makes me wonder if it’s more to do with accepting she’s fully grown and able to make her own decisions about her body and you as a parent have no say in it? Either way you need to accept this and try and find a way forward and be proud you have raised a daughter who has the confidence to make such decisions for herself and excites herself in whichever way she wants to x
Omg 😱 I meant EXPRESS herself not excite 😱
CallMeNutribullet · 01/02/2022 12:17

Classic mumsnet. Middle England, classist, Hyacinth Bucket shite.

DillonPanthersTexas · 01/02/2022 12:18

No- some small minded snobs people associate with 'being rough'.

Well some tattoos are clearly statements of 'roughness'.

Women with small star or dolphin tattoo on her ankle or arm - not rough

Man with 'Chelsea till I die' in large letters on his forearm - rough

PattyPan · 01/02/2022 12:19

Part of respecting autonomy is accepting that other people can do as they wish with their bodies without being subjected to being labelled as chavs or (far) worse

I disagree. You can honour someone’s decision while still thinking it was a bad decision.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 12:22

*Women with small star or dolphin tattoo on her ankle or arm - not rough

Man with 'Chelsea till I die' in large letters on his forearm - rough*

But if he's a Chelsea headhunter- he's 'rough' because of his horrible attitudes and behaviour rather than the tattoo itself.

Lots of people get tattoos relating to their club- they aren't all vile hooligans

ineedsun · 01/02/2022 12:22

@Blinkingbatshit

Some people love tattoos and that’s totally fine. Some of us think tattoos are mostly awful and would/will be really sad if/when our kids get one - that’s totally fine. It’s bizarre this world where people aren’t allowed to have an opinion or ever express it other than to say ‘how lovely’. The OP hasn’t told her daughter she hates it, she’s told us so she can vent without her dd knowing - totally reasonable. I’m starting to think George Orwell had a crystal ball 🔮…
Have you read the comments on this thread? That’s what people object to, not someone being sad about their child getting a tattoo. From memory ‘devastated’ ‘crying’ ‘I made the perfect skin’ ‘self harm’ ‘must have mental health issues’ ‘ugly’ ‘chavvy’ - there’s a big divide between saying it’s lovely and this.
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 12:23

@PattyPan

Part of respecting autonomy is accepting that other people can do as they wish with their bodies without being subjected to being labelled as chavs or (far) worse

I disagree. You can honour someone’s decision while still thinking it was a bad decision.

Nothing wrong with not agreeing. But some of the offensive shit written on this thread? Totally unnecessary
Cam22 · 01/02/2022 12:25

@AllThingsServeTheBeam

Maybe learn to speak properly *@Cam22* before you pass judgement
Oh dear! You obviously have an ickle butterfly.
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 12:26

@PattyPan

I agree I’m a snob but not small minded. The people I know with tattoos are the ones with the smallest horizons. Tattoos are expensive, instead of getting a Chinese symbol tattoo save your money and go to China!
I don't want a Chinese tattoo, so you know what I'm not going to do? Get one! Fucking hell, just think of that..
Cam22 · 01/02/2022 12:27

Some of the people criticising those who detest tattoos are using swear words to do so. You’re hardly on the high moral ground if you resort to that sort of language.

mydogisthebest · 01/02/2022 12:27

I absolutely loathe tattoos. The craze for sleeves is awful.

As others have said though, your daughter is an adult so it's her choice even though it is a choice she will more than likely regret.

At least the tattoos are not on her legs (for me this looks tacky and actually makes me feel sick), or on her neck or chest which also look revolting

PattyPan · 01/02/2022 12:28

I don't want a Chinese tattoo, so you know what I'm not going to do? Get one! Fucking hell, just think of that..

Okaaay…

Stellaris22 · 01/02/2022 12:28

@Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?
I have tattoos and they certainly aren't about regrets I getting over something. It's art and there doesn't have to be a reason.

To the OP, your daughter is 26 and an adult, let her live her life without your horrible judgement.