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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:
Sportslady44 · 01/02/2022 11:57

Meant to add how unladen like and unfemine. Why wouldn't you choose to look asbest as you can.

Cam22 · 01/02/2022 11:57

Even the ickle butterfly ones. I’m sorry but stylish and classy they are not.

DearlyBeloathed · 01/02/2022 11:58

@Sportslady44

Meant to add how unladen like and unfemine. Why wouldn't you choose to look asbest as you can.
Are you from a Jane Austen novel?
merryhouse · 01/02/2022 11:58

I grew up in the 70s and 80s in a desirable village, and someone with a tattoo was highly likely to be either a National Front supporter or someone with substance abuse problems (quite possibly ex-forces...).

Consequently I spent a long time with a visceral reaction to tattoos quite unrelated to how they actually look. I'm quite glad they've become more mainstream because I can now look at them with only a faint memory of how I used to feel.

Interestingly, our national identity is all about tattoos - the Prittanike are the "painted people" Grin

Cam22 · 01/02/2022 11:59

@Cam22

Even the ickle butterfly ones. I’m sorry but stylish and classy they are not.
To clarify:

Even the ickle butterfly tattoos are dreadful.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 12:00

Maybe learn to speak properly @Cam22 before you pass judgement

foxgoosefinch · 01/02/2022 12:01

[quote BellatrixOnABadDay]@foxgoosefinch there's a massive difference between finding tattoos ugly, and making judgements on someone's personality and how they come across because they have tattoos.

Fair enough if someone doesn't like how they look. But to make assumptions about someone's character and personality based on tattoos -calling someone 'rough' for example- is small minded. And old fashioned tbh. [/quote]
Surely the entire point of choosing them is choosing a look that people associate with “being rough”?!? Grin

Just like any other mode of choice in dress or aesthetic.

As a young woman I worked for a law firm that would send you home if your outfit wasn’t up to the dress code. A colleague got a formal disciplinary warning for being “scruffy” - he was most upset but there you go. Was he being discriminated against? Hmm

2022HereWeCome · 01/02/2022 12:01

I don't mind the odd tattoo or two but the problem with them is they look utterly shit (IMO) when your skin gets old, wrinkled, dry, stretched, sun damaged. Coloured tattoos can fade a lot and bodies change affecting the tattoo. I think there is a real skill to choosing a tattoo that will age well and where you put in on your body also matters. Not sure people always consider what their tattoos will look like when they are older

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 12:02

@Sportslady44

Meant to add how unladen like and unfemine. Why wouldn't you choose to look asbest as you can.
I do. And I feel that's with tattoos. Do you not realise people have different tastes to you?
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 01/02/2022 12:02

Don’t blame you, OP - I hate them and would be vv upset if dds ever had them.

Of course it’s a case of ‘their body their choice’ but that wouldn’t stop me thinking they were tacky and awful, and hating the sight of them.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 01/02/2022 12:03

Over 700 posts and the OP hasn't been back, hopefully she isn't passed out on the floor from the trauma of her adult daughter being tattooed.

I wonder what it is about tattoos that provokes such a response?!

People love to hate on others choices, don't they.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 12:03

Surely the entire point of choosing them is choosing a look that people associate with “being rough”?!?

No- some small minded snobs people associate with 'being rough'.

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2022 12:04

@Ihaventgottimeforthis

Over 700 posts and the OP hasn't been back, hopefully she isn't passed out on the floor from the trauma of her adult daughter being tattooed.

I wonder what it is about tattoos that provokes such a response?!

People love to hate on others choices, don't they.

This thread will probably be headed for the Daily Mail or an entertaining discussion on Loose Women. Hmm
BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 12:04

@2022HereWeCome

I don't mind the odd tattoo or two but the problem with them is they look utterly shit (IMO) when your skin gets old, wrinkled, dry, stretched, sun damaged. Coloured tattoos can fade a lot and bodies change affecting the tattoo. I think there is a real skill to choosing a tattoo that will age well and where you put in on your body also matters. Not sure people always consider what their tattoos will look like when they are older
Well my brother's answer to that was 'I'll look shit when I'm old anyway, whether I have a tattoo or not' 🤷‍♀️
PinkSyCo · 01/02/2022 12:05

There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who love tattoos and those who don't. It's easy to tell from the comments which camp everybody falls into and there doesn't seem to be any middle ground.

Rubbish. I neither love nor hate tattoos. I only have one, and I only got that as I wanted a rest from a day out shopping on a particularly hot day when I was 8 months pregnant Blush. My eldest DD (28) has 2 tats, youngest DD (22) one tiny one, and my 3 DS’s ( ages 19,21 and 25) don’t have one between them.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 01/02/2022 12:07

I’m not a fan of tattoos, especially ones done by poor or mediocre artists, but would not be emotional about a couple… a whole sleeve of ugliness I’d struggle with (privately). I’d worry about career impact because the reality is, visible tattoos can go against you in certain industries. It’s hard to see your dc destroy a “perfect” body with ink. I’d focus on your DD’s personality inside and see beyond her appearance through.

WindyState · 01/02/2022 12:07

MN cracks me up at times. All (correctly) for body autonomy and individual rights apart from when it comes to people putting art on their bodies.

If you don't like tattoos, fine, but don't be a judgmental twat about other people's choices eh?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 12:07

@foxgoosefinch I have no idea what looking rough means. One poster has said you have to be white with tattoos and that means somehow look dirty. What's your idea of rough? What else do I need or will my tattoos do me?

VioletOcean · 01/02/2022 12:07

It’s her choice just as it’s yours not to like them.

Blinkingbatshit · 01/02/2022 12:08

Some people love tattoos and that’s totally fine. Some of us think tattoos are mostly awful and would/will be really sad if/when our kids get one - that’s totally fine. It’s bizarre this world where people aren’t allowed to have an opinion or ever express it other than to say ‘how lovely’. The OP hasn’t told her daughter she hates it, she’s told us so she can vent without her dd knowing - totally reasonable. I’m starting to think George Orwell had a crystal ball 🔮…

Kennykenkencat · 01/02/2022 12:08

I am in agreement with Choclover27 about tattoos. I think for the most part they look dreadful. I have seen some nice ones and Dd had to have a temporary tattoo put on her neck for something she was doing and it looked fantastic on her but her clothing matched the tattoo.
I have a friend who has had random tattoos up her arm, not a sleeve just a lot of individual tattoos she had done when she was a teenager.

She seems to know what they are but after a life time of sunbathing no one else can.
It just looks like she has brushed up against something dusty and dirty and she needs a tissue to wipe the marks away.

My Dd has friends who have had tattoos They are so random I would really like to know why, what was the reason behind getting a random shape permanently drawn on their ankle and why put themselves through so much pain and have to pay for the torture and now paying for more pain to have it removed.
A biro would have been less painful, quicker and cheaper and would have looked exactly the same.

What I don’t understand is people who wear shorts in summer getting those tattoos that go down their thigh. Especially the tattoos that go round to the back of the thigh
The first time I saw one was on a young woman wearing shorts who was stood waiting to cross the road.
I honestly thought, at a distance it was something else dripping down the back of her leg as it was just peeping out from the hem of her shorts

I don’t think Dd or Ds are into tattoos

Both are too tight to pay out and too afraid of pain.
Really would like to know why Cheryl Cole spent so many hours in what must have been agony to get roses tattooed on her bum
It’s not as though she can admire the work in the mirror with out getting a crooked neck or awkwardly positioning mirrors

My biggest thing about tattoos is how identifying they are and the connotations they can hold
My gf had a tattoo. It was not his choice and it stayed on him for life as a permanent reminder of the horror he had witnessed and lived through

PattyPan · 01/02/2022 12:09

I agree I’m a snob but not small minded. The people I know with tattoos are the ones with the smallest horizons. Tattoos are expensive, instead of getting a Chinese symbol tattoo save your money and go to China!

Fartooparanoid · 01/02/2022 12:09

I would be devastated but keep it to myself.

daisyjgrey · 01/02/2022 12:09

@Ihaventgottimeforthis

Over 700 posts and the OP hasn't been back, hopefully she isn't passed out on the floor from the trauma of her adult daughter being tattooed.

I wonder what it is about tattoos that provokes such a response?!

People love to hate on others choices, don't they.

She rolled a grenade and fucked off. It was probably a DM journalist all along 🤷🏼‍♀️

PattyPan · 01/02/2022 12:11

MN cracks me up at times. All (correctly) for body autonomy and individual rights apart from when it comes to people putting art on their bodies.

No one on this thread has proposed banning tattoos. Just expressed their opinions that they look awful, which doesn’t impinge on anyone’s autonomy.

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