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AIBU?

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Original poster

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:
ballerinaqueen · 01/02/2022 10:59

What is it that you don't like about them?
Can you be happy in the thought that your daughter feels comfortable and confident in herself to do as she pleases with her body, she obviously doesn't care what other people think and I'm sure it makes her happy.

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2022 11:01

If she goes to work with them on show yes, but it's on her arm?

You might want to wear a short sleeves in the summer? This is a whole sleeve, so wear long sleeves for work all summer?

Lolamento · 01/02/2022 11:01

YANBU too many of them looks horrible. At least she is old enough to know better. Still I know how you feel.

Steelesauce · 01/02/2022 11:02

The negative comments towards tattoos on this thread shows exactly what is wrong with society. Its ok not to like them, but to label people as mentally ill or bad people because of a tattoo is truly disgusting behaviour.

The elderly people I work with have all seen my tattoo and love it. The response is always 'you only live once, you enjoy your life!' Because they are now old and unable to do anything like that. I'm in a professional position and my tattoos have had no bearing on my career.

PattyPan · 01/02/2022 11:02

@Thatsplentyjack

And people being disingenuous about the ‘sweet girl’ thing, everyone knows you don’t look sweet once you have a tattoo, you look rough.

What is a "sweet girl" and why would I want to look like one? Who do I want yo look "sweet" for?

You don’t need to want to look sweet but you need to appreciate that a tattoo changes your overall look so that people with tattoos come across differently to those who don’t. Which is interpreted by the pp who originally posted that comment as not sweet (I’m guessing worldly and not feminine?), and by me as rough.
lonelyapple · 01/02/2022 11:03

Tattoos used to be a sign of rebellion and of being different. Now they are a sign of conformity and wanting to be fashionable (in my opinion). Everyone seems to have them these days!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 11:04

@PattyPan explain rough to me? What other negative (in your opinion) things does a person have to be labelled rough? I know you're being deliberately offensive. For no gain whatsoever, but humour me

DynamiteFilledRadish · 01/02/2022 11:04

Yep, it's 2022...

This place has gone to the fucking dogs!

Let me take my working-class, chavvy, tacky, easy, slutty, never-gonna-get-a-corporate-job, defaced, mentally unstable self somewhere else.

Might go for a tattoo.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 11:06

You don’t need to want to look sweet but you need to appreciate that a tattoo changes your overall look so that people with tattoos come across differently to those who don’t. Which is interpreted by the pp who originally posted that comment as not sweet (I’m guessing worldly and not feminine?), and by me as rough.

So you're admitting that even now, in 2022, you judge people and base how they 'come across' on their appearance rather than their personality and how they treat you?

Well at least you're making it clear what your values are.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 11:06

@Sparklingbrook

If she goes to work with them on show yes, but it's on her arm?

You might want to wear a short sleeves in the summer? This is a whole sleeve, so wear long sleeves for work all summer?

And I would, because at that point I'd have the job. They wouldn't be able to fire me for a tattoo on my arm.
SockFluffInTheBath · 01/02/2022 11:07

@DynamiteFilledRadish

Yep, it's 2022...

This place has gone to the fucking dogs!

Let me take my working-class, chavvy, tacky, easy, slutty, never-gonna-get-a-corporate-job, defaced, mentally unstable self somewhere else.

Might go for a tattoo.

Grin
PinkSyCo · 01/02/2022 11:09

but my instinctive reaction is that my baby’s been hurt - I couldn’t help flinching when I first saw them.

God how pathetically nauseating. Envy

Lolamento · 01/02/2022 11:09

Some people think tattoos are tacky as hell. Yes, in 2022 and so bloody what?

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2022 11:09

And I would, because at that point I'd have the job. They wouldn't be able to fire me for a tattoo on my arm

Depends on the smallprint presumably. If it's stated that visible tattoos are not permitted then i would think they would probably be able to fire you or what's the point of the rule?

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 01/02/2022 11:09

I think it is incredibly painful when you see your kids making big decisions that you don’t understand or think are a mistake. There isn’t an awful lot you can do but express your feelings if you want to but acknowledge it’s up to them. I think some of the more unkind comments are people who are able to let go more easily or who’s children are not perhaps old enough to make lifechanging decisions yet.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 11:09

@PinkSyCo 😂 you said it much better than me.

DynamiteFilledRadish · 01/02/2022 11:09

but my instinctive reaction is that my baby’s been hurt - I couldn’t help flinching when I first saw them

Geez, hun, get yourself a grip.

ChrimboGateauxCatto · 01/02/2022 11:10

YABU, her body her choice.

DynamiteFilledRadish · 01/02/2022 11:11

@Lolamento

Some people think tattoos are tacky as hell. Yes, in 2022 and so bloody what?
You said a naughty swear word. I bet you have tattoos you rough chav.
recklessgran · 01/02/2022 11:13

I absolutely detest them too OP. My 5 DD's are aware of this and thank fully apart from one none of them has had a tattoo to my knowledge anyway. The youngest had a tiny one on the inside of her foot which is actually quite tasteful and is meaningful to her. For reasons I won't go into here I was very proud that she had the confidence to do this knowing that it would definitely not meet with my approval!! I too would be utterly horrified with a sleeve so you have my sympathy OP.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 11:15

think some of the more unkind comments are people who are able to let go more easily or who’s children are not perhaps old enough to make lifechanging decisions yet.

Unkind comments? After the vile things that have been said on this thread about tattoos?

Maybe, just maybe, this isn't about being able to 'let things go more easily', or having younger children. Maybe some people have had genuinely awful things happen in life, are able to see the bigger picture, and realise that a tattoo is not actually a problem, by any measure?

'Incredibly painful'- to see your child get a tattoo? Get a grip. You may not like tattoos which is fair enough but has it completely altered any sense of perspective?

Seeing your child struggle with being bullied is painful. Seeing them struggle with addiction/ unemployment/abusive relationships is painful. Watching them suffer horrible illnesses is painful.

Anyone who wants to say their child getting a tattoo is 'incredibly painful' really needs to get a grip and consider how lucky they are if their child is healthy, happy, and doing well in their life.

Teawaster · 01/02/2022 11:15

I would hate this. Not because I don't like tattoos , I don't , but that's not the point . I would hate my offspring to make a choice to permanently change their appearance and could be something that they regret later in life.
It would make me sad to think that they could hate their body in years to come and regret that they could not realise at the time ,that this look may not be what they want forever

TamTamChew · 01/02/2022 11:16

@MajesticallyAwkward

Ffs, I was replying to a poster who described women who are “unchallenging” in relationships and don’t have tattoos as “sweet girls” - I don’t think in those terms. My point was whether it’s by their husband or wife most people don’t want a relationship that could be described as “challenging” and would run a mile from people who called themselves that.

Tattooed girls can be sweet or not as can the men, though they may not be seen that way. But that wasn’t my point. I was replying to a poster who was calling untatooed women boring basically because they wouldn’t “challenge” their husbands. She was the one who described them as “sweet girls” originally.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 11:19

@Teawaster

I would hate this. Not because I don't like tattoos , I don't , but that's not the point . I would hate my offspring to make a choice to permanently change their appearance and could be something that they regret later in life. It would make me sad to think that they could hate their body in years to come and regret that they could not realise at the time ,that this look may not be what they want forever
Unless they get something worthy of being on tattoo fixers most people don't end up 'hating' their bodies because of a tattoo they regret a bit.

Most people who get them are actually quite blaise about this and often take it in their stride with good humour. I know my brother certainly does. He sees his tattoos as part of a story.

I have a couple that I don't exactly love now but I don't hate my body for it- some days I like them better than others. On the days i don't like them as much, I cover them up, it's no big deal.

I admit I would be concerned about my child having tattoos on their face because it is incredibly hard to cover them if they do regret them. Most other places, they can be covered. And even then it's hardly 'soil destroying' as a pp said.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 11:20

@Sparklingbrook

And I would, because at that point I'd have the job. They wouldn't be able to fire me for a tattoo on my arm

Depends on the smallprint presumably. If it's stated that visible tattoos are not permitted then i would think they would probably be able to fire you or what's the point of the rule?

There are very few if any, that will be in the small print. It's discrimination.
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