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Original poster

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 10:14

[quote TamTamChew]@namethattunein1

You were the one who described “unchallenging” women as “sweet girls”. I’m just talking in the terms you used. To me these sweet girls are just normal women who don’t think “challenging” their partner on the daily is a healthy or desirable relationship. I call the women who do think they should be “challenging” insane.[/quote]
There is one poster I'd describe as insane..

NoResolutionsHere · 01/02/2022 10:15

I was only thinking about this the other day, if my children eventually decided to get tattoos how would I feel? Gutted I think. I hate them, my reaction would be similar to yours. What does your daughter do for work? Won't it impact on her career prospects?

5keletor · 01/02/2022 10:15

I'm glad that most people who have written horribly judgemental posts about how tattooed people must be troubled and bad sorts would avoid us - thank you for thinking of us like that, I wouldn't want to keep company with that sort of judgement.

BeeDavis · 01/02/2022 10:16

She’s 26 years old, WHY are you crying over this? Get a grip.

gamerchick · 01/02/2022 10:21

I could pick apart every vile and quite frankly ridiculous thing that is wrong with this post but I've come to learn that it's simply worth staying away from the likes of people who write such utter drivel. I'm shocked people who believe in such shite exist and hope they stay well away from me and my family. I am so glad I have tattoos and likely won't have anyone like you within my circle of friends

I wanted to pick it apart as well. But went with, 'thats a lot of words to say I'm actively failing my kid and left it'

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 10:21

@NoResolutionsHere

I was only thinking about this the other day, if my children eventually decided to get tattoos how would I feel? Gutted I think. I hate them, my reaction would be similar to yours. What does your daughter do for work? Won't it impact on her career prospects?
Unless she has twat written on her head why would it impact her career?!
gamerchick · 01/02/2022 10:23

[quote 5keletor]@gamerchick my mum got her first at 45, after seeing mine. 😁 She's now mid-fifties and has 3, I'm also not entirely convinced she'll stop there![/quote]
See, that's the spirit Grin

Nanny0gg · 01/02/2022 10:26

@WindyState

She's an adult.

Sure, you don't have to like tattoos but being devastated about it is ridiculously over the top.

Not if those are your feelings.

Two of my DC have tattoos. Luckily not generally visible day to day as wouldn't be ok for their professions.

Most tattoos are crude in that the colours are harsh and they don't 'go' with any clothing so I don't like them from that pov either.

I hate them. My DC know I hate them. It is entirely their prerogative to ignore me and do what they want with their own bodies but nothing will make me like them. And they did have beautiful unblemished skin that I am sad they don't have any more. (and I don't like excessive piercings either)

Saddlesore · 01/02/2022 10:26

I can't stand tattoos - mainly because they're permanent.

I think henna tattoos can look lovely - they are in such dainty filigree designs and of course they fade nicely. But would you wear the same style of clothes or hairstyle in your 60s or 70s as you did in your 20s? I look back on old photos of me in the 80s and while I looked good at the time, there's no way I would want to wear all those flounces and eyeliner now!

Even some styles of tattoos look terribly dated now - those "tribal" armbands of more than a decade or so ago are like date-stamps on the arms of many 40-somethings.

PinkSyCo · 01/02/2022 10:28

Hate them too op, would cry over them as well. And probably not in private. Brits are too polite. Even if she's 26, your role as a mum is to advise her about likely mistakes all throughout her life. Even if she thinks it's not a mistake, she needs to hear your opinion too whether she likes it or not.

I would not take any advice from the sort of person who would start wailing over a few tattoos and I’m pretty sure my kids wouldn’t either. Hmm

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2022 10:30

Unless she has twat written on her head why would it impact her career?!

Because tattoos still can. I know there will be people that it hasn't but as this thread shows many people in general (and therefore people that interview candidates) don't like them or the way they look. So they wouldn't hire that person.
There are also jobs that stipulate 'no visible tattoos' in their guidelines re appearance.

DillonPanthersTexas · 01/02/2022 10:31

As a heavily tattooed forty something woman in a professional role, I've never heard such claptrap about it 'affecting career prospects' in my entire life. You do know what year it is, right?

Well there are tattoos and there are tattoos. Not sure what your profession is but are you seriously saying that if a young man attended an interview and he had a large spiders web tattoo visible on the side of his neck nobody in your organisation would bat an eyelid?

constantsky · 01/02/2022 10:32

For the posters saying they don't want their daughters 'defacing' their 'beautiful, perfect skin' do you feel the same way about her virginity?

Funny that a bunch of mums are concerned about people making expenive, irrevesible decisions that 'permanently scar the body'. A bit like, hmm, I don't know... having children perhaps?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 10:32

@Sparklingbrook

Unless she has twat written on her head why would it impact her career?!

Because tattoos still can. I know there will be people that it hasn't but as this thread shows many people in general (and therefore people that interview candidates) don't like them or the way they look. So they wouldn't hire that person.
There are also jobs that stipulate 'no visible tattoos' in their guidelines re appearance.

If she goes to work with them on show yes, but it's on her arm?
Nanny0gg · 01/02/2022 10:33

@Hyly68

don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice.

She can also like tattoos and that’s her choice.

Who has said it isn't?

As I've said, I don't like them. My DC know that. But they are adults and have made their own choices. I wouldn't have stopped them even if I could but I'm (as they are) entitled to my opinion. And with the exception of one or two very pretty ones I've seen I don't think they're an enhancement.

daisyjgrey · 01/02/2022 10:34

There are also jobs that stipulate 'no visible tattoos' in their guidelines re appearance.

Are there? Where? None of the jobs I've applied for (and got), or advertised vacancies for have said that.

Nanny0gg · 01/02/2022 10:35

@constantsky

For the posters saying they don't want their daughters 'defacing' their 'beautiful, perfect skin' do you feel the same way about her virginity?

Funny that a bunch of mums are concerned about people making expenive, irrevesible decisions that 'permanently scar the body'. A bit like, hmm, I don't know... having children perhaps?

No-one's saying the feelings are especially rational. They just are what they are.
BuickMcKane · 01/02/2022 10:36

@DillonPanthersTexas

As a heavily tattooed forty something woman in a professional role, I've never heard such claptrap about it 'affecting career prospects' in my entire life. You do know what year it is, right?

Well there are tattoos and there are tattoos. Not sure what your profession is but are you seriously saying that if a young man attended an interview and he had a large spiders web tattoo visible on the side of his neck nobody in your organisation would bat an eyelid?

My tattoos are all visible - including my hands and neck.

And I've just hired a promising young man on to my team who has a face tattoo. Because I judge him on his skills and credentials over his tattoos.

MermaidEyes · 01/02/2022 10:36

Even some styles of tattoos look terribly dated now - those "tribal" armbands of more than a decade or so ago are like date-stamps on the arms of many 40-somethings.

This made me think of the lower back 'tramp stamp' tattoos of the 90s - always shown off with a crop top, low rise jeans and a diamante thong peeking through!

DillDanding · 01/02/2022 10:37

If I interviewed 2 equally good candidates (I manage a group with customer facing roles) and one had visible tattoos, I’d be more inclined to choose the other.

BellatrixOnABadDay · 01/02/2022 10:38

@5keletor

I'm glad that most people who have written horribly judgemental posts about how tattooed people must be troubled and bad sorts would avoid us - thank you for thinking of us like that, I wouldn't want to keep company with that sort of judgement.
This.

There have been some truly horrible posts on this thread, why people think it's acceptable I don't know.

Completely get it if people don't like tattoos- they obviously aren't for everyone but no one is going to force you to get one if you don't want it? I also do understand parents not liking them much on their adult children. My mum doesn't like tattoos much but she never comments to me or my brother about ours. She treats us with respect though, there's the difference.

Honestly some of the comments on here would be laughable- someone earlier in the thread made a comment about it being 'soul destroying'- I think along the lines of it being soul destroying to see their DC's unblemished skin now ruined.

That's actually quite offensive IMO. That someone could be so melodramatic and insensitive to people who have had actual 'soul destroying' things happen to them. People who have actual worries about their DC's health, people who's children have died. Really- posters who are that upset about tattoos- get a grip.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/02/2022 10:39

@DillDanding

If I interviewed 2 equally good candidates (I manage a group with customer facing roles) and one had visible tattoos, I’d be more inclined to choose the other.
That's says a whole lot more about you.
PinkSyCo · 01/02/2022 10:40

Even some styles of tattoos look terribly dated now - those "tribal" armbands of more than a decade or so ago are like date-stamps on the arms of many 40-somethings.

So what if they do look dated though? How does it affect you? Years ago, when I worked in a care home my favourite resident had tattoos. She was in her 80’s and had got them whilst serving in the Army. She had a little story for each one of those tattoos and her eyes used to light up while recounting them to me. She never regretted her tattoos, just like any elderly man I’ve come across don’t regret theirs.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 01/02/2022 10:40

@5keletor

I'm glad that most people who have written horribly judgemental posts about how tattooed people must be troubled and bad sorts would avoid us - thank you for thinking of us like that, I wouldn't want to keep company with that sort of judgement.
In recent times, tattoos did have significance, amongst certain groups, circus, prisoners, armed forces, alternatives non-mainstream types were the original purveyors of the sleeve all over tatts.

Personally, I think they look shit whoever has them.

mathioso · 01/02/2022 10:41

No-one's saying the feelings are especially rational. They just are what they are

Sure. But given that the OP asked if she is being unreasonable to have these feelings, then it seems pretty fair for people to point out that it's a major overreaction. Otherwise why did OP ask??

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