I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

[Choclover27]

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

They look bloody awful. Tacky as hell
Ugly.

Yes I’d be disappointed if my kids went down that route

BUT Devastated is a bit strong.

I’m sure my mum felt the same as you when I had a fag dangling out my mouth all the time, or when I told her I was a cokehead - at least she’s not actively harming herself.

@Tabitha005

Self-expression is great... although, I find it hard to see where the individuality is when so many people have such similar designs. The 'tribal-style' tattoos that were so popular in the 90s all look so dated now and a couple of friends who had that style done back then have since had them layered or covered up with something that, too, looks dated now.

I think many people have them as a sort of 'statement', rather than an expression of identity or individuality anyway - especially the 'sleeve' style which has become so ubiquitous as to be like any other fashion or style trend.

I have a couple of tattoos, tucked away where no-one sees them. I forget they exist and wonder why I bothered now. They're a marker of a point in time for me, like any other scar, but I don't think of them as particularly poignant, important or something that identifies me as some kind of clever individualist. I've known a few people who treat their tattoos like the most interesting thing about themselves.... which is pretty boring when you're party to the same conversation time and time again.

I don't think the majority of tattoos are all that interesting today, purely because they're so easily-attained, commonplace and bear little resemblance to those of years gone by when they were used for very different reasons and invoked mythical, narrative and/or story-telling elements.

@Tabitha005 - when I was younger in the 90s tribal tattoos were really the trend - or chinese/oriental writing - despite not knowing sometimes what it meant or said.

I dated a guy who had a whole passage from Lord of the Rings in that script on his arm - he'd done it to fit in and because everyone else was having something done. Nothing meaningful to him at all!

When I was 18 my best friend got a red heart tattoo at the base of her neck, this was in late 1980s, was definitely to make a point about how alternative and daring she was being (unspoken of course) and was 'risque' at the time because tattoos on women were seen as what sailors/ex-convicts etc had. Our other best friend took it to the extreme and now has lots of tattoos and piercings. They constantly badgered me to get one but I resisted - all I wanted was maybe a tiger cub on my ankle but knew my mum wouldn't approve and also I might regret it. I'm pleased I didn't do it to be fair!

@DearlyBeloathed

Very few people on these threads can express their personal dislike for tattoos without resorting to being rude as fuck and it's so draining. Frankly, I think judgement of something that's nothing to do with you is ugly, common and trashy

Fucking depressing isn't it. Luckily, I only ever see this sort of BS on here, and not in real life.

That's because this is an anonymous space where people can say what they really think....believe me in real life I think most tatoos are ugly and trashy but it's not like Id go up and say that to someone.

@Sparklingbrook

I did wonder about that *@BoodleBug51*. is wedding dress shopping one of the times that the tattoo regret surfaces?

Although if a bride loved her tattoos so much wouldn't she want them on show on her big day?

The only regret I had about my tattoos when wedding dress shopping was that my tattoo wouldn't be finished before the wedding...

So let me get this straight.

Women shouldn't get tattoos because 'nice' men won't find them attractive if they do. I'm sorry I thought this was 2022 where women didn't live just to please men.

The 'perfect skin' of a child is more important than the actual whole of the (adult) child and to 'deface' it is 'devastating' because you 'gave' them that skin.

Do you not realise how creepy you sound?

YANBU but tattoos aren't what they used to be. They are very respectable and mainstream.

I'm not a tattoo fan and don't have any personally, DW is Jewish and wouldn't have tattoos for cultural reasons, but I still think that YAB a bit U in terms of your reaction to her tattoos and becoming so emotional, although on reflection YANBU in keeping your opinion to yourself and talking about it on here rather than to your 26 year old daughter directly. You are both entitled to your opinions and for you to feel disappointed and want a space to vent.

In my opinion some of the responses on this thread are a bit dramatic as well and also quite snobby, it's just a form of art that people put on their body, not a self harm or sign of mental illness or even bad judgment just because someone makes different choices than you. I personally don't think that most tattoos look nice, but have seen some that do look good where a really good artist has been used and the tattoo is refreshed with regular upkeep.

I was meaning for people that didn’t want the tattoo showing on their Wedding day @Nickwinkle I’m assuming you did.
People that have had them ages then realised at the fitting they didn’t want them.

Far fewer rugby players with them though. Interesting that.

Way more tattoos in rugby these days then there used to be

@DillonPanthersTexas

I don't think I've seen such blatant masogyny on here in a long time!

I have a kitchen table made of blatant masogyny.

Oh I am sorry I spelled that wrong, my dyslexia sometimes does that. Not sure I get the joke though.

@LagunaBubbles

Some of the comments here are actually quite disturbing about creating children with perfect skin etc, the lack of separation between some people and their adult children is far more disturbing than any tattoo.

Exactly!

This endless simpering over “perfect skin” comes across so … gross. Especially as a parent to a child with a visible birthmark.
My son’s skin is perfect because he lives in it, and it doesn’t cause him pain. I suffered from serious eczema for years, so I don’t take that for granted.
I don’t care how he decorates it later in life.

@Tippexy

What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?

wtf

believe me in real life I think most tatoos are ugly and trashy but it's not like Id go up and say that to someone

Same, I wouldn’t say it to someone’s face because that wouldn’t achieve anything but I would definitely be thinking it looked awful and they were wrecking their body. I have a lot of self harm scars and I think I do view tattoos similarly in that they’re a disfiguring mark to regret forever.

Tippexy
What has she gone through in her life, when she was younger? The tattoos and piercings are a way of expressing/rejecting/coming to terms with her feelings about whatever it was. Support her to talk about it?“

Or, she likes tattoos?

You need to grip! It is absolutely nothing to do with you. You can dislike them but crying?!

Some of the comments here are actually quite disturbing about creating children with perfect skin etc, the lack of separation between some people and their adult children is far more disturbing than any tattoo.

Dfod. Many of these people (me) are parents of young children but there's nothing wrong with loving/being proud of your children in their natural state.

Mumofblue
Both my kids have birth marks that doesnt make their skin any less perfect to me.

[quote TamTamChew]@namethattunein1

Lol, if you really want to believe real men love being “challenged” by their wives you do that. Challenged how? Constant arguments and corrections? What is so challenging about these tattooed real women who these real men need to be challenged by? And what’s so good about it?

I think if any potential partner male or female said they “would challenge you” most people would run a mile. That sounds like someone with serious mental problems.[/quote]
Maybe English isn't your first language but let me define Challenged.

Would you like your child to be challenged at school, or find everything easy as pie?

When you decide to do ANYTHING in your life, do you choose what's easy as fuck, or something that presents a CHALLENGE.

CHALLENGE= INTERESTING = STIMULATING

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?

It has fuck all to do with tattoos, it's about saying you want your partner to be this or that and in reality you want someone who fucking doesn't send you sleep when you talk to them.

So you Mummy boys you talk to may say they want a sweet girl who doesn't have tattoos like those 'bad girls' but in reality all humans needs to be challenged, or we get fucking bored , understand now?

Total sympathy OP. I’m sorry your daughter has done this. Some people do seem to get addicted to it.

Not sure the replies saying ‘its none of your business don’t cry’ are helpful. Should we only cry over things that directly affect us?! When I cried over a news story of a 7 year old getting beaten to death by his teacher in a lesson should I have shrugged and said not my kid? That isn’t how emotions work.

Own your feelings OP they are perfectly normal.

@Catra

YANBU and you are certainly not the bitch mother from hell.

Most tattoos, in my opinion, look awful. While a few are works of art, even these fade, smudge, and look dreadful as the years wear on. I can't get my head around the mentality of permanently marking yourself when tastes, sentiments, and bodies change as we grow.

My husband has 3 tattoos and I don't like them at all, not that I'd ever say this to him, as it's his body, his choice. Our daughter is too young to get tattoos, but it's crossed my mind before that if she did when she's older, I'd be gutted - she's perfect as she is.

I'm someone who likes to express myself - through my hair colour, clothes, the art I have in my home - but the thought of marking myself forever makes my skin crawl.

@Catra - I agree with you - lots of tattoos do look awful.

I do wonder sometimes if I'd look good with something on me like a tattoo but always stop.

The vast majority of a certain class and age of people do judge others with tattoos - you can't get away with that.

The funny thing is in my locality there's a really nice tattoo parlour which sells coffee (not really a cafe). Just down in the next 'town' the not very nice place closed down during lockdown. and in another town, the tattoo parlour closed but went full circle and is now a trendy cafe (Butter Up) and the name apparently came from their body lotion used on their tattoos when it was a tattoo place.

I don't think the majority of tattoos are all that interesting today, purely because they're so easily-attained, commonplace and bear little resemblance to those of years gone by when they were used for very different reasons and invoked mythical, narrative and/or story-telling elements.

Tattoo snobbery. I’ve seen it all now!

@DillonPanthersTexas

Far fewer rugby players with them though. Interesting that.

Way more tattoos in rugby these days then there used to be

But still not that many of them. I shall watch the Ireland/Wales match on Saturday with a view to researching this!

Namethattunein1

Actually plenty of people happily go through life choosing the easy option. Don't knock contentment. Lots of people just enjoy simple pleasures and don't desire constant challenge. Takes all sorts to make a world.